I can try to forgive, but I will never forget.
@samantha_nicole (66)
United States
March 26, 2008 1:13am CST
I dated a guy who initially swept me off my feet, then dropped me like it was nothing. 12 dozen long stemmed red roses brought up to me at work and hour-long amazing discussion about nothing and everything, he said I Love You after just about 2 weeks. What a good actor he was and how naive I was to believe it all. 3am drunken phone calls ending with a 45 minute rides to go get him, skipping classes just to spend a few minutes with him even though he paid no attention to me by then, and all the other girls. I gave myself to him at 19 and he used and abused me. Towards the end, when things got really bad, the bruises on my arms got worse, I never saw him, he never wanted to talk to me and the time I went out after I tried to forget him, he showed up to the party with a loaded gun. It took my dad, brother and 2 cousins with baseball bats and me locked in one of their vehicles to get my things out of his house and let him know of the restraining order. It's been over a year, and I have found the man Im going to marry, but I can't help harboring so much hate and ill will for my ex. We have no contact, but my brother might be getting hired in at the same place my ex works,and he acts like it's no big deal. But for some reason, it puts my stomach into knots. How can I forgive someone like that? Someone who made me feel so ashamed of myself, took advantage of a young naive college girl and then turned around and threw it in my face? I don't know how to forgive him, should I even? How is it going to make me that much better? I can't ever forget what he did. Does anyone have any similar hard to forgive stories or any helpful advice?
6 responses
@beccarose (121)
• United States
26 Mar 08
We've talked about this a little bit at work. But I half way understand... Its very hard to forgive and forget. But even though you will never ever forget, you can let it go. Its hard though. I don't even know what advice to give because I've felt like that before. Even though you hate what he did and who he is, for some reason you still end up wondering *What and how is he doing now?* you know?
Its a crazy mixed up world. Sorry I couldnt offer any GOOD advice =P
@samantha_nicole (66)
• United States
26 Mar 08
Exactly, and it's even worse now because my brother just got hired at the place he works :[
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
29 Aug 10
Forgiveness project one as a god..he is equal to god!, but true its hard to forget certain hurts
@kanika0471 (59)
• India
27 Mar 08
you know what you've expressed is what some people somewhere cannot express even.they go by choice but don't get chances to come out of it ever or never.
start accepting people as they are...
you cannot change or delete someone you can forgive but cant forget.
i believe that there is no need to forget someone who at a moment was so close to you and now far apart.store these kind of people in your memories as they were.And keep on moving with great positivity with the fact that something better is there at the end.
@SONIA12MAN (238)
• United States
26 Mar 08
it is hard but yes you can forgive and forget it. trust your self. try to think less of it. if this really hurts don't think it often and well Prayers are a tool to forgiveness and your faith in God helps you forgive . remember all the Christ went through just because of us yet he said I forgive you all and peace be with you. he never went back to look at our past .
Try to think positive of your self. don't feel like any one used you but feel sorry they were stupid and forgive the pain. forgive your self too then it will be gone
