Would You Rather Have a Baby or a Hysterectomy?

Several things occur to me reading this, because I know more about you than the average reader. So I ask you to answer these questions to yourself by way of responding to you. 1. How desperate and how ready emotionally are you to have another child? 2. Can your eggs not be harvested before/during a hysterectomy? 3. What are the odds of the precancerous cells returning during a further pregnancy? 4. Has your doctor not explained the delaying of early menopause through hormone therapy? 5. What's the point of a tubal if your problems with your uterus are not fixable for the long term? 6. How much do you really understand about menopause at 30? I can give you chapter and verse on that, but not here. If it was me cynical, I would opt for the full removal to ensure that I would be around for years and years to come for the children I do have. Everything else is biology and treatable in one way or another. And adoption is NOT such a bad alternative. I can give you chapter and verse on that too, but not here.

Put myself in your shoes? Now If I did that I do not think you will like what I have to say. But I will go for it. I would go for the surgery. Hands down. Of course I am speaking as a woman who is 17 years older then you are and a woman that is beginning her own descent into the big "M". You might go through all of that money and all of that pregnancy with nothing but bad results to begin with. There is no sure thing when taking a gamble such as this. I know menopause is scary , chit it is for me and I am 47, but you live through it and will in the end come out the victor. What happens if you wait to long to have this baby and cancer sets in? Too many variables here Cyn. But you must do what is right for you and your family. Just don't wait to long to decide.

well i guess one thing is your age and secondly if you want a child with your sweetie, those two factors should outway anything else. i had 2 girls and a miscarriage and had a partial hysterectomy 5 years ago but i knew i wasnt going to have any more kids so i was happy with the decision (because i had hundreds of tiny fibroids and my period was totally out of wack.)

Ok, I will be 29 this summer and have already given birth to 6 children. I figued that was important so you'd know my position. If I was given the choice to have a baby or have a hysterectomy. I would choose to have the baby. Pregnancy is not fun usually but it's a lot better than menopause and at least you know it's only a 9 month deal. But then throw in the financial issues. I don't have insurance so I'd be screwed either way. If my situation was like yours...I would still try to avoid the hysterectomy but I have no idea how I'd afford the invitro or reversal. I suppose if I did have insurance for the hysterectomy I would just have to suck it up and do that. I already have children so having more wouldn't be necessary. If I didn't have children or didn't feel my family was complete I might look into having my eggs frozen to be used by a surrogate in the future but that probably costs more money than I have too.

Would you require anymore surgeries after having a baby? Is pregnancy something that would temporarily help? Would you have to be on bedrest during pregnancy? If so, would you have help with your children? Sorry for all the questions but those are things I'd be asking myself. If I could afford it, I'd love to have a house full of children, so I'd probably go with the pregnancy route. I also would love to adopt (which is also expensive) in the future, but I know that's not for everyone.

First off I want to say I am sorry you have had to endure so much and are looking towards enduring a bit more either way and I do hope the gods find a way to bring you serentity. That being said at the stage of my life I am in if I could choose to have have a child or never have a child again, I would have a child. I already want another one and fear that my daughter is getting too old to enjoy having a sibling. I want more children a lot. So I would have to say if I could find a way to afford the IVF I would do it.

if i were in your shoes i guess i opt for being pregnant no matter how costly it can be..since its the only way where i can get rid of dysplasia..

If I were you. LOL!!! Um ok sis, here is what I would do I would take the surgery and go from there. but I would also have my eggs frozen so that there is a chance to have another baby through surrogacy. Here are the reasons I would do it. 1. For my kids to have a mother 2. Having a baby might or might not make it better but considering what you went through last time I think for emotional consideration and for fear of sneezing I would go for the surgery. 3. You and SO were prepared to have to go through adoption or surrogacy to begin with and if this surgery means not having to worry about cancer and you don't have to go through the fear of possibly losing a child and being doubly depressed when and if it might happen. 4. You have 4 beautiful kids. What happens to them if you die. Their biological parents have first dibs. Even if one doesn't do you want 3 out of for going to your mom? Your gram can't take care of them and your dad has your sister their. Would you want your kids to grow up in that type of environment. And on the slim chance that Jacka$$ does get custody of his (which would never happen in a million year I hope) How would you feel about that. It's best to be here for the long run. I'll be there for what ever you chose and support your decision like I would with any part of your life. But Hun I think what everyone is trying to say is we love and don't want to lose you. I can also see your side where you thought that I can't have any more children at all and your resigned yourself throught that and it depressed you greatly and now you see that you have what your considering a golden opportunity. You can have a child and get rid of the dysplasia all at once. You're thrilled at the possibility of being able to have one and possible fixing of the problem .. Has the doctor outlined what you will go through possibly for this pregnancy? You were on bed rest last time right? What other complications did you have last time? Did your doctor say that these problems magically dissappeared for this pregnancy only? How would you feel if you got pregnant lost the child becuase of the complications and then had to go through a hysterectomy? You have to have everything laid out before you. Make a list of pro and cons. Go to another doctor and get a second opinion. Line up the specialists that it would take to deal with your problems during your pregnancy. have both you and your SO go to these informative appointments and discuss it rationally with out emotions. Look at it from a third party view and think of what's best for the person in the situation not what the person wants or desires. I'm hope that you can come to a peaceful decission and decide what you want to do.. Like I said I'll support you in your decision no matter what. Take care.

I have had a tubal ligation; I got it done as a marital decision (nuckfuts was too chicken to get the snip snip). I had 4 children with nuckfuts. We were separated at the time I had the twins by c-section, and was given the option to have my tubes tied then and there. Because I was only 28 at the time, I opted to not get the surgery. My mode of thinking was that I was still young, and of "child bearing age", and I didn't want to close that door to a future partner in case he didn't have any kids of his own. When the twins were 4 months old, nuckfuts and I reconciled. I found myself pregnant AGAIN within a couple of months of that. I ended up having a miscarriage, and that is when I booked my surgery to have my tubes tied. I did not want to have any more children with my husband. One year after that, I left nuckfuts for good. As much as I adore the freedom of having my tubes tied, I am also holding a lot of resentment towards nuckfuts for not having the balls to get fixed (like my wording? ). I hate that I cannot offer getting pregnant in a relationship now. I'm now 35, so I'm almost at the point where I shouldn't have any more kids now anyways... but that hurt still doesn't go away. If I were in your situation, I would opt for the tubal reversal if my partner and I wanted to try having a child together. I keep telling myself that I don't want any more kids... that I love the freedom of them getting older... and to some extent that is true. But then again, I'm trying to convince myself that I'm okay with being done having kids. At the same time, the idea of creating a child with a man I am totally in love with is such a powerful draw.

I am not sure If I will get stoned for my answer! But I rather have the Hysterectomy. I am 28 and so far I've done a pretty good job of not having kids. I never plan on having any, so it wouldn't bother me. Actully I am kinda going through the same thing now. They don't want to remove it, because they want me to have an option to change my mind later. I keep telling my mind has been made up for 22 years. I don't want kids.

Dear me, what a choice, I just don't know what to say. You've had some darn good replies from some people who KNOW what you're saying and really understand your position... WoW you've had some great responses. As for me, well, I haven't been able to have a kid. It's all I've ever wanted and everyone has been saying since I was in my late teens, what a great mother I would be. I was so sure that I would settle down and have at least two kids by the age of 28 or maybe 30 and here I am 44 next birthday (later this year) and NOTHING. So really there's not much hope. You can guess that I would say if medically you can have a kid (keep the cancer at bay and will you be well enough in later years to be able to look after a kid?) i.e. I hope the cancer doesn't return? Will your insurance cover a hysterectomy if you need to do it later? As you say, so many questions.... definitely get a second opinion or a third. Just make sure that you have all the answers before you make your decision. My heart goes out to you :)

im baffled. i spose if were me.. id have another baby. i know theres alot to be considered, as you say.. itll be very expensive for you to do it, but if the means are there, i personally would take the shot at another child over the surgery thatd remove any chance at having another. but then, me personally.. id have a houseful of kids if i could, not everyone else feels that way. just a thought on if you do go the surgery route.. and one of the reasons youre not wanting to is the loss of your eggs to be able to posibly go with a surrogate, im pretty sure you can have some of your eggs extracted and frozen. this is also a costly proceedure. i wish you luck cyn.

I, honestly would go with the hysterectomy. He!!, I would do it now if my insurance paid for it and I don't even have any of those problems. If I did though, there would be no doubt in my mind to get it done. To me, either way, it would be almost impossible to get pregnant or be a surrogate mom. If I was in that situation, I would rather not have the pain of trying to get pregnant and it not happening. That pain can last forever. I would just try to cope with the fact that this is my life and I'm going to handle what was thrown at me. I would think that maybe, it happened for a reason. Maybe, if I had been able to have a baby, something horrible would've happened. That's just the way I think though...

personally I would go with the hysterectomy due to the high rate that the baby might not live. besides what would happen after you have the baby? Could it come back, could something happen while you are pregnant where you must terminate, could the baby have something wrong with it. Having surgery will be hard and you will not feel like a woman but atleast you will be alive! I would also hate to have my child find out they were born just to shed the lining of a uterus. also what is the % you will even get pregnant. I say put an end to the suffering and take the surgery. I am not saying this to get paid, I am saying this as a woman, who might someday be in your shoes. Be strong and take the surgery. Adoption is not bad and think of it as helping a little life that can't help themself! GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR HUGE DECISION AND I HOPE YOU COME TO THE RIGHT CONCLUSION! **hugs**

I would choose to have a baby because I want to have another one. I only have the one son and if all of the above was happening to me, I would still want another baby if it was safe enough for me to have one and it wouldn't affect the child in any way. Adoption is out of the question when it comes to my husband. He doesn't want to go that route.

Ooo...that's a toughie. I can't really relate at my age, but going through menopause at a young age is not a pleasant thing to think about. I would discuss it with my husband and get his take on things first. I'd hope we could decide together what would be best for us and our family. Could you maybe preserve your eggs before the histerectomy and be able to have a surrogate later if you wanted?

Oh my dear friend... Honestly I would tell you to have the hysterectomy. I have been there done this with ovarian cancer and I will tell you, you are playing with fire. Cancer is nothing to play around with. I wouldn't go around testing your doctors theories. The longer you wait the faster the cancer has a chance of multiplying. If you get pregnant and shed your lining, that's all great for now. But what happens when the parts are still there? Do you live in fear every day or wonder if you have it back. HRT is not that bad. I was 33 when I had my surgery. I'm fine and cancer can't come back at least in my ovaries and uterus. It sounds pretty bad hun and I would have the hysterectomy. You have 4 beautiful kids and you are lucky for that. Isn't it worth staying around for them and watching them grow up. Get the poison out of your body. Whatever decision you make I'm with you and if you need to talk you know where to find me. XOXOXOXOXO :)

Do you really really want to have another baby? Do you want to have one with your SO? Is that important for you both. Answer Yes. Then that's the route. But how do you know that another baby will solve the problem? Maybe everything will kick off again a year or two down the line. My choice would be to go for the hysterectomy. My mother was pure hell to live with during her 30s and early 40s, with a similar condition to yours. She had the op and within a month became an entirely different person. Her mood was also different afterwards. You are still young and you need to have that baby discussion now - I am sure that you already have. There is nothing wrong with adoption either. But it is your body, your choice and your life. Love and hugs and stuff. You know. XX

I don't envy your decision. I had a similar decision to make in 2003 at age 43 when I had an 18cm x 16cm x 12cm growth which turned out to be ovarian and endometrial cancer. I was asked if I wanted to keep my uterus if it wasn't cancerous and I told him to take it all. It turned out that it was cancerous also. Actually, that was the best thing that ever happened to me because it meant that I no longer had periods. Of course, I have had surgical menopause (which is what you fear), but realy, it was not that bad!!! Four years later, I am still healthy. My advice would be,if you want the possibility of donating eggs, then just get out what they have to. But really, it would be better to go through with the hysterectomy and not have to worry about the possibility of having to get it later. Maybe you can do egg donations before that or just have a partial and keep your ovaries. I hope that your situation goes well.