Need Advice on How and What to do???
By sweetvenus
@sweetvenus (95)
Philippines
March 26, 2008 10:27pm CST
Presently my father and I doesn't talk to each other ever since he disagreed for me to be married to my longtime boyfriend of 3years. The reason he disagreed is because of the disease he inherited from his family. He has a diabetes. I know having such disease is a very difficult thing simply because it affects all systems in our body. But my partner's sickness is not as severe as they thought. As of now, he isn't taking any medicine, except whenever he eats too much sweets he would take the medicine called "melix". He isn't an insulin dependent, but we try to monitor his food intake so as not to trigger the disease. I also have explained to my father that no matter what happen to me, I will take full responsibility on the consequences of my actions and that I would still be there for them. But I guess since he is a father I know he doesn't want to listen. I have tried many times to talk to him about the plan, but still he refuse to give his blessing on these matter. And now, I'm having a hard time doing the things I have to do. My partner is also having a second thoughts already because he can't understand why my father all of a sudden disagreed. I really don't know what else to do. I was informed by my father not to ask my boyfriend to talk to him anymore, because he would just push him away and be rude to him. I know my partner very well, he wouldn't allow to be shouted at by other people. My partner have told me once that he won't guarantee to me that he won't answer back to my father. And I'm afraid of what might happen if I push my partner to talk to my father. I just hope and pray that things would be better.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
27 Mar 08
It is difficult when our parents want to protect us from every possible hardship. They don't trust that we can deal with difficulties now that we are adults.
Is it possible to marry without your father's consent? It may come to that. You may want to talk to him to tell him that you would prefer not to go against his wishes but that you are going to marry your partner because you love him. You know how the diabetes is controlled and that you are not afraid, that you trust your partner to take care of his health. And tell him that you would like for him to give his blessing but that you will marry with or without.
Your father loves you and you can convince him that you want him to continue to be a part of your life after you marry. Perhaps there is a third party who could intervene for you.
I wish you well.
@sweetvenus (95)
• Philippines
27 Mar 08
Thanks for the response. It is possible for me to get married without their consent, but still I would prefer to have their blessing on these matter. He actually informed my grandmother about these and he already told her that he really won't give his blessing or support on these matter. I know my father, once he has decided on something, he doesn't want to be bothered again about it. He also told me before not to bother to talk to him about it again, because he would prefer to see me crying now, rather than later. In which I understand that he really isn't going to change his mind. For now, I think only a miracle from GOD would change his mind.
@erictsuma (9726)
• Mombasa, Kenya
2 Mar 21
Someone's illness can't be the reason of you not marrying your long-term boyfriend. Maybe your dad has some other issues apart from the illness.
@wittyakanksha (436)
• India
11 Apr 08
your father's concern over you marrying a person with a medical problem such as diabetes could be because he dreads the diesease itself.you can begin by asking him what exactly he feels about the disease and how can it affect your normal life with your boyfriend.also let him know that people with diabetes are doing very well these days with diabetes management and the rate of complications in these patients who are using these management principles are dropping dramatically.your father needs to understand that times have changed with respect to diabetes care,and there is no reason to break up with someone simply because of diabetes.
