flirting

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its a doubt iv always had in my mind.........how does one know as to when two people are not just flirting and have taken a liking for the other person?sure if it is direct....the touching of each other give a pretty good idea....but say ur fliting over the phone....living in different cities.....how will you know as to when to ask the question to him/her(ask her out or something like that),without worrying about what will happen if all this assumption was wrong...say u meet the person too and she shows signs of likin u....what if the person is just a really friendly person?if u tell him/her how u feel....u might risk the friendshi that u had built up till now.... so whats ur all opinion on this?