Would you stay with someone who has a chronic disease?

I would discuss it with him to let him know what is going on with your ms. I know I lost my ex husband well he said she couldn't deal with it. At the same time he knew what was going on a long time before we were really serious.

Hi scorpiobabes, i'm so sorry to hear about your illness. I think that you should wait until after your trip to talk to him. But you must talk to him. This is something serious and should not be put of any longer than need be. I hope that you dont think that because of your desease he wont stay. I have a cousin that has MS and she's been confined to a wheelchair for the past three years and she has a fiance that loves and cares for her. So just have faith in the one you love and trust that he loves you unconditionally. Wishing the best for you.

I would definitely talk to him about the situation. I am sure he isn't blind and can see that there has been changes in your physical abilities. If he truly loves you, he will understand and stay by your side. I suffer from chronic pain from an on the job injury. I also suffer from chronic pancreatic pain. I have days that it is a job just to get out of bed. My boyfriend of 7 years is wonderful and has stayed by my side through surgeries and other events. His hands are always available to help me with what ever jobs I need help with. I have been open and honest with him through everything. As for telling him before you leave for your business trip it is a toss up. If you have a problem and need emergency care while your there would leave your boyfriend upset that you didn't let him know about the problem to begin with. On the other hand, if you tell him before you leave it could leave him worrying about you the entire time you are gone. There really isn't an easy answer to the question. But you do need to let him know. One big thing is NOT to start the discussion about your MS with "We have to talk". Guys always see the worst when you start a conversation that way. I would lean towards telling him before you leave on the trip. He has to have some idea that there is something wrong with you physically and is waiting for some sort of explanation. It won't be easy, but it is better to be honest and let the guy know than to keep the information bottled up inside and have him guessing. Relationships are built on honesty and openness. Hiding something important like having MS could be disastrous to your relationship. I know it's scary, but if he has feelings for you he will understand. (Most guys don't hang around for 4 1/2 years if they don't care deeply for a person. He might have problems with expressing his feelings.) You are in my prayers.

Aww hun im sorry to hear of your MS and your worry at the moment about your relationship. I would certainly be able to stay with a person who i loved illness or not. At the end of the day you are still the person he fell in love with and if he hasnt mentioned anything about it i shouldnt worry as im sure he'll feel just the same as before.

You should talk to him! 4.5 years is quite a long time,it's not easy for him to give you up,besides, if he decide to leave you after he know the truth,then he doesn't worth your love! Best wishes!

I would discuss this with him, if I were you. If he truly loves you, he will understand and be willing to help you through this. I know that I would stay with someone who has a cronic disease, as it does not really change who they are.

It takes a very special person to be able to commit to any relationship, let alone one where there is a serious illness involved. Since you have been together for 4-1/2 years, you should be able to openly discuss your illness and what the future may bring. It may be difficult to start the conversation, but if you put it off, it may be even more so. Give him the benefit of the doubt, let him ask questions and even get him involved in doctor visits if he has questions that you may not be able to answer. I'm sure he loves you, but the fear of the unknown could draw you closer or push him away. Just talk to him and you will feel better about it. You may or may not get the answer you want, but it's better than just not knowing his feelings. I wish the best for you and hope you get the answer you deserve. God Bless.

I would discuss this with him. He does know that all of this is going on right? I have honestly gone through kind of the same thing the last 7 years. I found out that i have chronic pancreatitis and will eventually have to undergo a replacement if it continues to get worse. My hubby is not supportive at all and has me wonder at times if i made the right choice when it came to marrying him and I would hate to see that happen to someone else so talk to him and get all of your feelings out in the open if he's willing to do that.

Hi scorpiobabes, my name is Howard. I hope everything turn out well with you and your lover/partner. I have a close friend who also has MS and when she applied for SS Disability they turned her down like many other people applying. She got herself a disability attorney and that is how she was awarded the disability and she now has Medicare coverage with it. If you decide to apply please consider an attorney that specializes only in disability cases. Excellent and well know attorneys "Binder and Binder" are one of the top lawyer firms that only handle these type of cases and you don't pay anything unless they win for you and if/when you do win they take their fee (which is not much) from your first large reto-active check. Do contact them even though you live out of NY because they do handle cases in other States. In my opinion they are the best. My friend is dong so much better now that she is getting the medical help that she needs. Also here is a link for The Montel Williams MS Foundation that helps people with MS that do not have insurance http://www.montelms.org/Help Good luck and let me know how things turn out.

Hello Scorpiobabes, I wouldnt leave someone that I love just because they had some kind of a chronic disease. I would do my best to be supportive of them. I think you should discuss it with him as soon as you can. That may give him more time to think about it. He's been with you for 4 1/2 years, chances are he's going to stay there. All my best, Terry

I'm going through the same thing, but my wife and I have been together longer so maybe it changes the dynamic a little. I kept her informed every step of the way so far. I hate worrying her, but I know she'd be more upset if I didn't keep her up-to-date. I don't tell her EVERY single pain or disorientation because I hate feeling like I'm complaining all the time, but I let her know exactly what direction my condition is heading. I can't imagine doing it any other way. Someone who can't support you through a situation you cannot control is not a person to stay with. It is difficult that you are going to be apart for a while soon. It might be best to wait until you get back, just so the two of you can share some time talking about it. Good Luck!

I think first of all you will need to really share this with your boyfriend. As the both of you are together, I am sure he loves you no matter who you are and what you are and certainly what you have. All the more, we are very supportive and understanding when we know what is really happening with you. Just don't undermine our feelings and love. It is not that we are empathetic but we have feelings and that thing called unconditional love that has kept this relationship going. Just don't shut him off as what I am experiencing. You may want to see our perspective from this thread http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1434875.aspx You will need to read up more about your condition so as to better manage your condition and effectively communicate with your family member(s) and love ones. I would also encourage you to join their support group to learn and encourage same sufferers and helpers. You may want to look into to this site for some information http://www.nationalmssociety.org/index.aspx I wish you well and hope that you will be able to better manage your current situation. Remember don't leave him out on this.

Sorry to hear that scorpiobabes. The best way you can do right now is to tell him earlier. Explain to him about your disease. Just don't hesitate about it coz the long you hide it for him the long it will be worst and if he really loves you. He will stay with you for sure...But ofcourse just prepare yourself if whatever will be his decisions. Pray for you always CIADES.

If he truly loves you then you have nothing to worry about. I know if it was me and my better half was ill, I would stay with her no matter what. But I would like to know as soon as possible if there was any changes in their condition. I would tell him the night before you go on your business trip. This way he can have time to think about it by himself if he needs it. But I'm betting that he would more than likely want to go with you on the trip. 4 & 1/2 years is a lot of time together. In some states, it's long enough for a common law marriage to occur. I believe that he loves you a lot. I think you have nothing to fear by telling him. He will stand by you while you go through this. Hope you feel better and god bless you. Thanks

Both Bruce (my boyfriend/husband) and I have Multiple Sclerosis. We got together because of that. We met in a Yahoo support group called MSFriends. My suggestion is that you talk to him about your fears. He has been with you this long. Has he shown any sign of discomfort with you? Wait until you get back to address him with the subject. I hope he settles your fears, sweetie. (((hugs)))

I would tell him about it now why wait? I Have MS Also and my wife has stuck by my side through it all I can no longer walk or get myself dressed all the time. But if he really loves You I would tell him now and not wait. Have a great Day.

if i really loved someone, it wouldn't matter. if it were to happen to my hubby i would stay...and i know he would do the same for me... i would definately talk to him about it...is he aware you have ms? that might be a shock for him if he didn't know at all...but if he does know and has been with you this long i would assume he's researched it and realized what it could mean...

I think the earlier he knows about your condition, the better. If you will tell him about it before you leave, at least he will be given some time off alone to think things over. If he loves you so much and been together for a long time, here's the chance to prove that he will stay with you in sickness and in health.

That's a tough situation, but if your relationship is based on true love (and I hope it is!) then it shouldn't matter. Of course it will be harder on both of you, but that's life. If he chooses not to stay with you when he knows the truth, then you are better to be rid of him now anyway. Would it make a difference if you'd been married for several years? Would you expect him not to stay with you then? Would you stay with him if the roles were reversed? I don't think anyone can answer what would be right for you to do in your situation because we are not you. Personally, I think that you should tell him as soon as you can, but again, who can say what's right in your situation. Can your doctor recommend a counselor? There must be people available that are trained to help in a situation such as his. I pray it works out for you.

You should tell him cause there is gonna be time when he will know. instead of discovering his reaction at that time you just will know his reaction now. this saves you a lot of time.