how close are you with your in-laws? do you handle it with grace?

i wish I had such inlaws too. I have done everything in pastr fifteen years to please them and win them over. Somehow I have always remained an outsider to them and now I feel I should accept my fate as it is.

hello erianne, thanks for sharing your story, it is great to know that you and your in-laws are in good terms, im sure a lot out here who dont would want the same. im sure you are very grateful for what you have and hope it continues that way for the rest of your lives. takecare and very cute photo of your daughter.

hello, sorry to hear about your experiences with you sister-in-laws, i had the same experience with my own cousin and it is really something i never forget since then. we're no longer close to each nor speak with each other coz she knows what she did and i didnt say anything about it but like always the truth will prevail somehow. i cant believe that they ask you such amount of money, i mean they should know that one of the reason you stay there is to save some money. my brother and my sister-n-law lives with me for almost a year and that really drives me crazy, i mean i accept them coz i know they needed a place to stay in but they started acting like they are king and queen and i work so hard but the food i am buying rarely goes to my tummy. i told my mom i have enough but she leans towards them so i end up leaving the place i rented and arrange for my self and move to china. oh well! btw, im kinda confused on your other younger brother, did you mean you cant wait till he is gone? or the son? sorry i am really tired today running around helping dad and ourselves finding a home and this is my way of relation before i go to bed. how's life out there? is the weather good? it is raining and cold out here and were really surprised to have such weather after a very hot week, strange! takecare and goodnight!

hello., sorry to hear all about the trouble, i will surely feel the same way specially if it seems to be a never ending story. i hope all will be fine with you guys and may your nephew find his way home (where ever that maybe) it is not easy to live a life knowing you have to worry about certain things and situation specially if it involves family and or love ones. takecare!

Thanks for your response. I have had my nephew for most of two years. He came to me in January 2006 and I have put up with him before coming to China and most of the time except from September until February when he stayed alone in Thailand. Now he is telling me to find his birth certificate so he can go back to America. This is getting old.

My wife an I have a beautiful five year old son, and in the end, he was a big part of the reason for my wife ceasing contact with her family. The need for us to protect him from the warped minds of the in-laws was very strong, and now my family is so much happier!

congrats! you guys did the right thing. i have to agree that it is the best thing to do for your son, i cant imagine a kid being part of all the troubles. like you said, your family now is happier and that is all that matters. i am not sure why most parents dont let go of their kid once they get married and they seem to enjoy making life harder., just ridiculous in my opinion. i hope that somehow your wife's family will realize their wrong doing and will just make all your life easier. im sure most of her relatives/family dont agree with your move but that is no longer important as long as you guys are happy and no longer putting up with the crap, then there is nothing to worry. thanks again for participating and i appreciate you sharing your experience regarding this matter. takecare

hello, i dont usually hear that the guys are having problems with the in-laws coz it is often a girls problems. but like you state it does happens, i have met and seen people like that i do the same like you do but once they start putting up words and stuff that i have to follow then that makes it worst. im surprised that you managed that well, no offense meant, just i know guys dont like crap like that unless of course if they love their wife that much (i applaud you for that). i have spoke with foreign guys who have the same experience as yours when we live in china and it is never a pretty picture luckily your wife stands by you and just say it is enough. i will surely do the same with my husband if that is the case. they are not family if they cant respect my choice in life and more the man i love and will live the rest of my life with. you guys did the right move of just ignoring them and living your life the way you want them to be, it is best that way. best for you and best for the kids (if you have any) thanks again, and wish you all the best. takecare

hi carolyn, i cant blame you for feeling this way in regards of your father-in-law's attitude. i dont agree with people like that and i often see it being ignorant. my father-in-law is the same but he sometimes catch himself and will just be quite, i guess because my hubby will point it out and dad have such a huge respect to him. his dad knows how to say sorry when he knows he is wrong but not sure if he does that with others coz a son is different. we dont live with him so it is hard to know, i just know from my hubby that he have a bad temper, haha! it is sad to hear people talks like that, my father is the same an di cant believe it coz he talks dirty about others without realizing his past. i just dont get it! my father is not the kind of person that you can correct, he is very authoritative and will listen to nobody but himself so i dont talk to him even as a kid. oh well! i sure see myself walking out too if i hear so much stuff like that, i cant take it coz my heart always goes with the oppress one and i dont talk back often coz i still need to respect the elder and i know no matter what i say that kind of person aint gonna listen. your dad-in-laws's wife must be a very patient woman to take all that, haha! i think in every relationship (no matter kind it is), there will always be disagreement an dit is all normal, there is nothing we can do about it but accept it and learn from it as it is a part of us growing. beside, disagreements proves that we are only humans anyway and whoever says their relationship is perfect i can honestly say that such person is fooling himself for claiming such thing. anyway, i am happy to hear from you again. i am really exhausted with all the stuff we've been doing for almost 4 days now and today is the worst coz i have this huge headache. oh well! hope you are feeling much better now and do takecare! goodnight!

great to know you're doing better now, i have never tried the stuff you mention but would like to try it maybe one of these days for the sake of experience haha! i dont feel good today so i am hoping i will be better tomorrow. always a pleasure to hear from you! takecare!

Thanks sweetie. I'm getting there. Had some accupressure done over the weekend as well as some group Reiki. I'm a little sore still from the girl working my shoulders but I can tell a big difference.

hello jmr201, sorry to hear about your hubby's relationship with your family maybe they are still having a hard time accepting they no longer have you i dont know so many reason and like you said you dont know why BUT what matters is you love him and he loves you and your relationship is a happy one. at least you are close with your in-laws, most of the time is the other way around and i honestly feel it is better that the wife gets better relationship with the in-laws than the husband. most of the time guys dont care much about it but girls do feel bad and terrible if they are not getting along with their in-laws so just be happy for what you have. im sure one of these days your family will accept your husband and they will realized that you are happy and content with your chosen life. takecare and i wish you all the best!

yes, i would feel the same if that is the case just lucky that it is not. butt sure know some of my relatives who treat their son's wives like crap and i really feel sorry about it coz i know it is not fair and it is painful. specially if some of the other son's wives are getting along with the mom and just her then that is the worst part. if that happens, id rather stay home and let him visit the family and i will make it clear to my hubby the instances that i do tried but nothing works. to a guy they just what you said "whatevah" takecare!

yeah i hear you i would feel real bad if my inlaws didnt like me besides we spend most ower time over their if they didnt like me i would be stuck in the house while he gose to visit his mom and fam and like you said guys dont care my hubby is like what ever

hello walijo2008! thanks for dropping by, noticed that you're new here! WELCOME! anyway, glad that you have a great relationship with your mom-in-law, it is always a great thing to have a good one than the bad :) my mom havent met my in-laws yet but we're hoping that they get along well too. i admire your mom-in-law doing the missionary in africa, hope she keeps it up. haha, i think it is normal that after sometime of being really around with someone, some of the "real" personality is coming out, i think most moms are like that BUT at least she buys you stuff haha! it is always nice to go out shopping with relatives. you sound like me, i have to remind him bout "junks", oh well, his little happiness in life, haha! takecare and wish you all the best!

hello, sorry for a very late response i didnt know you replied coz i didnt get a message anyway, congrats for reaching your 100 post after 2 weeks. great job! back to your response, yes she is truly something. i am happy that she dont care about what she dont have but what she can give to those who needs her. such a wonderful lady. talking about your hubby, haha! i can imagine. LOL takecare!

Hey thanks for welcoming me, I'm glad to be here. Yeah, I'm glad to be on good terms with her. She really is a good lady, and she has a caring heart, she has to have one to be able to do what she does everyday. Its not easy living over there, she doesn't have all the comforts of home like we do here. And lets not talk about all the junk he has around here, he has his own little corner with stuff piled up, I try to stay out of it...lol. but thats a whole other discussion....take care now

hello, great to know that you have supportive in-laws, it is very helpful to have such thing specially in times of needs. i cant blame you for not wanting the in-laws in the same roof, i will choose the same thing i just dont like living with other people and prefer to have a life of our own. it's ok to visit once in a while coz it is just normal but a stay more than a month with lots of scrutiny in our relation then i feel i have the right to say that they cannot stay in our home if they dont know how to behave and respect the ones who owns the house. my mom knows it well and my relatives and they cannot expect me to take their sides coz i make it sure that i am taking my husband's sides no matter. my hubby feels the same way and we get more respect in that way. my hubby's dad and wife is is planning to move here and we dont mind, they are already old enough and will need assistance soon and we prefer it that way as we want to help. they are great people and we never have problems with them so i dont mind them being around. my mom dont live with us yet but i am hoping she will soon so i can take care of her too. my husband loves her so much and i am happy that they are close and my hubby respect and loves her the way i do to her. anyway, wish you all the best! takecare and goodnight!

LOL,,, your in-law free YET, haha! thanks for the wishes, i really hope it stays that way, i dont want to have bad relationship with anybody specially if that is related to my husband. i have to agree with you that you shouldnt let your in-law knows everything about your relationship coz often times it becomes a problem in the end. i have to say that in ever relationship's problem it is best resolve by the partners only and no one should take over saying or acting they have the right coz they DONT and will NEVER do. btw, you sound to be SO dang happy being free, haha i wonder! takecare

That's great that your inlaws are lovely people too. And your right about the inlaws being extras... that's funny!

shssssssssss.... someone who knows me might hear you and i'll be in trouble, haha! his dad might move out here so we're really busy in the day helping him out, we are hoping that he will find a good place near us so we can help them out anytime. he is a very good guy and i really enjoy having him around. hope you guys enjoy your weekends, our's is very busy, oh well! takecare!

hi maddy'smommy! you're one of the lucky ones (hooray!!!) it is a wonderful feeling knowing that his mom trust you and loves you as her own. i feel very happy when she accepts me and shows her love just like to her son. i have a good relationship with my dad-in-law and his wife (same as mom-in-law and her husband) so that's another thing, i think i have talk to him better than i do with my dad. my husband have a good relationship with my mom and he treated her with respect and accepts her like his own mom. despite your relationship with your dad-in-law, at least you two sound civil unlike others who makes sure one harasses the other. just keep your chin up, as long as you and your hubby are happy together, that is all that matters, in-laws are just extras, haha takecare

i think it is often the mom-in-law who causes problems (talking about my aunts coz i see how they treated their kid's wives) it is not easy to have quarrels with any of your in-laws coz your husband will have to pick which one to side, i hope he stands by you. i have heard some who takes sides of the mom and i honestly dont agree with that except of course if the in-law is right, which is a different story of course. dont worry about such situation of her picking small stuff on you, it is very common and i have noticed to some mom-in-law they do that to intimidate the wife coz they know their son loves the wife NOW more then he loves the mom so that really bothers them and maybe scare them coz they feel they should never be other woman who takes care her place, who knows. my mom used to tell me, you'll only knows this once you have your own son and that's the time you'll realize the why's. oh, dont know how true is that, but i'll just cross the bridge when i get there. thanks for participating. takecare and goodnight!

hello, that's great then! i know there's a lot of people who have a hard time meeting and being with the in-laws not sure if they do that on purpose (haha). i think most parents look for someone they feel will be the best one for their kid, often it is good but sometimes it is not and it can break somebody's heart if that is the case. my ex-bf's mom did that to one of his gf (asking where am i) and i guess that didnt do no good to their relationship at that time, oh well! happy to know that you guys ends up being a couple despite the break up. i think it is nice to have that in the beginning coz both can see the true value and what they are missing from each other. i feel the same about my in-laws, they are very welcoming, i didnt expect it to be that way after hearing the previous relationship and that really makes me happy. his dad is here and we went out for dinner tonight and while my hubby is at the bathroom, dad told me that he is so happy that his son is happy and said "thank you" for making him very happy. i am very touched coz i know it comes from his heart and after seeing him having that misty eyes after saying those words makes me really happy inside. not all in-laws will say such thing in a very sincere way, and i really appreciate it. anyway, wish you all the best and keep up the wonderful relationship with them. takecare

hello, thanks for participating, sorry to hear about your mom-in-law it is never easy to have such relationship and be on the position were mom is very controlling i have seen that a lot in my relatives and i honestly feel sorry for her son's wives i just dont get it. seem like some mom thinks they are the only girl in the world who can love and take care of their son. at some point i can accept it but if it's becomes nasty and causing my marriage problems then i'll be doing the same thing as you do. i think his parents know that well about him and they will not do that coz they will surely lose their son. thumbs up for your hubby for standing still for you! despite all this, at least his dad and wife loves you as their own and that is great. i wish you all the best and keep being yourself! takecare and goodnight!

i have heard some stories like yours and often times the relationship survived but sometimes they dont coz like your case, the mom will plant some stories and just make things worst. i dont understand such thing but i guess often people who are miserable dont like seeing someone being happy and content in life. i wish most mom will learn how to grow and let go of the kid she once have. it will be more fun and peaceful if they just let the family grow and have the son enjoy life of his own. im glad you guys survived, im sure after all those storms your relationship is much much stronger than before - something to be thankful despite having it in a hard way. i hope the mom will finally learn her mistake and just accept her fault coz a family is a family no matter what but like you said if the case is like that and ruining a good life and family then a family is NOT a family anymore. anyway, i hope you guys are still happy despite all this and wish you all the best in life. takecare

that's great then, it is not easy knowing you are not in good terms with them. not that they can control the relationship but it still affects in some point. keep it up!

hello twinrachel, thanks for the response, sorry for the delay been really busy helping my in-laws out here. anyway, i am really happy to know that you have a wonderful relationship with them. i feel that some parent knows when their husband is really happy and just respect that relationship and the wife. i am very fortunate with that too and i can tell that it is a wonderful relationship to have coz i dont have to worry or put up with stuff that breaks my heart as well as my hubby. some parents who are in the upper level tends to look down with their son/daughter's wife/husband. i think it is silly coz it is never a measure of a relationship. some are just lucky to be in a good position in the society and some still struggles to be part of the lucky ones. yes, i have to agree that couples who have great relationship are more accepting to their kids lives and they respect such relationship. i wish you guys happiness and togetherness for the rest of your lives. takecare!