a question for parents and not yet a parent

Hi there! I am already a parent of a five-year old son. I don't have any other kids yet but I believe that I can give them my love equally. About attention, I might give a little to the one who needs it more. I think that as a parent, I should be able to adjust and be flexible as to how I show them that I love them and how much I care about them because people have different ways that they want to appreciate the love that is given to them.

before, i thought my mother had a favorite among the four of us. it turned she just has a tendency to give any of us whatever we need and do everything for us to the point that we we sometimes become dependent to her. if i would have children, i'll try my best, i'll do my best to not have a favorite. i know the feeling of being set aside. (even though my mother didn't mean it) its an ugly feeling. there's envy and anger. and competition. i don't want that to happen with my future children. as much as possible i would treat them equally.

all parents have their own favorite child..its normal to have favor on one child,but even if i do have one i make sure that i attend all my kids needs and try to be more balanced in giving them love and attention...not all our kids will have the same capabilities,some are good in other things that other kids are not so i try to praise them in their forte so as not to be too obvious that i have some inkling on one of my kids and still praise my other kids in their best field...

It's very difficult. I favor my younger son and my husband favors our older son. Thank goodness we only have two! I think it has to do with the childs personality. I favor my younger son because he is so much like me. I do realize I do it and I try not to let it happen but it really does take a real effort to spend more time with my older son so I don't show the favoritism.

i'm not a parent yet but i would treat them as equal and i don't want them to suffer the same way like th way i suffer from my mother because she doesn't treats us all as equal and our eldest brother is her favorite among the 3 of us

I am a Chinese and I can't have more than a child because of family planning.But I have imagined if I have ability to have several childs.I think I am not equal extraly for every my child.As you know,every people maybe more partail to the people you like.Similarly for the children,this behavior is more obvious too.But I think not only parents but also the not yet parent should try their best to treat equally with out discrimination for their children.What about your thought?My friend?

I have two children...and I don't have a favourite. But if you ask me if the time,love and attention is equal...no it isn't. But that's not because I love any one of them any less...it's because they are different and their needs are different. In fact, I was just talking to my 7 year old about this same thing 2 days ago. He wanted to know if I love both my kids equally...and I said 'No!'...that's because I have to treat each one as they have to be treated and can't treat both the same way. I have a toddler and the needs of both my kids are different....age wise as well as temperament wise. And as far as time goes, it depends on who needs my time when. My older child will not need my time as much as the younger one...and too much of my time might stiffle my older one. But does that mean that I love the older one less...no! In fact, I understand and respect his need to not be suffocated by my time....while the same thing would mean neglect for my second child. The same can be said about my parents too. To an outsider, it might seem like my father favours me and amy mother favours my sister....but that's not true. We are different people who need to be handled differently...and it's just that my dad and I relate better to each other....and my sister and mother relate better to each other. So, no favourites there either. I've seen families where some parents play favourites...but such families are few in number...and most families do not play favourites with their kids (that's how I feel).

I have only one child, so you know how much I pay attention to him. If I will have one more child one day, I think I will still love them equally. They are all my children, so I don't have a favorite one from them. Besides, I like to be fair.

well right now i only have one child and while its hard for me to imagine giving anyone else as much love as i have for her i could not imagine making a difference with my children. i have a younger brother and we were always treated equal.

My children are equal. I never do for one without doing for the other. If I spend $200 on one I spend the exact amount on the other 3. I was raised that way. Parents should never have a favorite child.

I am a mother but have a beautiful daughter. AS my experience. My mom is a devoted mother, understanding and loveable. She sacrifice a lot of things and do the best she can to raise me, my sister and my brother. I don't see any bias situation while we grow up. When it comes to decision, giving our needs and even sharing of foods. She will divided it equally, thats how we grow. She love us equally but more than her life.

I have 3 children, a stepson who will be 5 in June, my daughter just turned 4 and my youngest daughter will be 3 in may. I love all of them just the same. It's hard doing one on one except for my 3 year old because my 2 oldest are in preschool. If I go shopping I alternate which child I bring with me. I dont give one child more love, attention, or "gifts" anymore then I would the other 2 children. I dont find it fair. Although my 4 year old daughter is my little mini me. She helps me fold clothes, clean everything. Then my 3 year old is more a daddys girl. And my stepson doesnt have a faviorte parent... except maybe his bio mom because he never sees her.