My Dad's Girlfriend Makes Me So Angry
By ladym33
@ladym33 (10979)
United States
March 30, 2008 12:17am CST
About 10 years ago my father left my mother for the other woman. I have made my peace with that part of the story. My parents remain good friends and we still celebrate holidays as a family. My Dad's girlfriend has no problem with this, but doesn't feel the need to really get to know us. That is fine with me, and that is how she wants it. I am a nice person as are my siblings so we would have eventually accepted her either way, because my father cares for her. We all of course needed a couple of years to get over things, but we are forgiving people and would let her in if that is what she wants, but she feels content to leave our family as a family, so I am grateful that she has not problem with my father spending certain holidays with us. But that is not really the issue here.
The issue is that my father moved in with her about a year after my parents marriage ended. She lost her job immediately after he moved in. She has never tried to get another one. She says she is interviewing and applies for jobs, but she just doesn't get them. Please in 9 years she can not find a job. Not to mention she thinks she is to good to do retail or food service jobs.
My father played the stock market and lost all of his retirement money so he has had to work instead of being able to retire. This was his fault and I am not blaming her for this, but now my dad is going to be 70 years old, he has already had stent put in his heart and needs another one. He is working his butt off doing security jobs, driving a 15 year old car that breaks down constantly. I worry about my father every day. This woman he lives is 44 years old, and very capable of getting a job. Even if she would just get a part time job, or even just work long enough to help him buy a new car, but she does nothing. She doesn't even keep their apartment clean, my Dad has to do that too, and he cooks most nights. She doesn't even drive but they live in the city where public transportation could take her to a job. My Dad can't get the new stent because his new insurance company won't pay for it because they say he has a pre-exisiting condition, and he is afraid to take time off work because he is afraid he will get fired, and at 70 years old it is not all that easy to find a job.
How can she claim to love him and not seem that he needs help? Why won't she help him? If my husband needed a stent and drove a rickety old car I would work 3 jobs to pay for his surgery, if I had to. Why can't my Dad see that this woman is sucking him dry?
2 people like this
8 responses
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
30 Mar 08
Because he thinks she loves him. I know exactly where your comin from I have a father that has practically disowned me because of the new woman. She works for about 2 weeks then ends up fired because she is always late or just doesn't feel like showing up. It's awful. Hun I really don't think there is much you can do except wait for him to realize what kind of woman she is and you know I bet he knows but he is probably too proud to say anything because he feels like he is getting old and doesn't feel like he wants to start all over again with another woman. It's harder for men than women in this department. It seems as though they have to have a woman or they don't think they are real men. I hope your dad realizes soon that he is better off alone than with a woman that takes everything from him.
My sister has still been talkin with my dad and his thing but lately she hasn't heard anything so we are pretty sure the thing is finally found out. She recently asked on of my dads aunts for $50,000 and of course denying it but I know she did it. She's just a liar like the rest of the money hungry women out there.
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
30 Mar 08
Oh really???? Thats crazy. Well I really hope he sees it soon hun.
Hugzzzz
1 person likes this
@abby0210 (95)
• United States
31 Mar 08
I have to agree and say there really isn't much you can do about the situation - only he can change it. Men do seem to have a hard time starting over. My husband's best friend was married to a woman who had an affair and he did not want to leave her because he didn't want to be alone or start over - he was only 32 at the time - plenty young enough to start over. Thank god he realized that being with her made him so miserable and they are now divorced. We all tried to point it out to him but he just had to realize it on his own. Hopefully your father can do the same.
1 person likes this
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
1 Apr 08
He is blinded by what he thinks is love. He can't see that she is using him. I hope that he will see it but for now you can't really do anything about it because if you say something to your father then it makes it a you against her situation. She will see it as an attack and then push you father to choose between the two of you. In my personal opinion this woman is very selfish and seems to not have a heart. I am sorry but to not want to get to know the children of the man she supposedly loves is wrong and shows that she really doesn't care about him in anyway she is just in it for what ever she can get out of it. If she truely loved him she would not only want to help him out in anyway she can but she would also want to as much as she can about the things that are inmportant to your fahter.
Hang in there and I hope that your father sees the light before it is too late.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Because all people need their own time to realize that they are in a bad/useless relationship where the other person is using them. You not need to hope he learns his lesson before she really does any real damage to him or his budget!
1 person likes this
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
31 Mar 08
Your dad must love her so much then...But If I were that woman which I won't be like since I won't go break up a family just to get the man I love...Anyways, I would love my new husbands family as my own and if my husband is sick I will help him work for his health to come back. Maybe with her acting like this she really didn't love your dad she just wants to get something out of him. Hate those people who breaks up families for their own pleasure. They should never excisted at all.
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4005)
• United States
30 Mar 08
your father may never realize how this woman is using him...it seems odd they would be together 9 years like that and she not doing anything? does your state have common law marriage? that could be a reason.
i would probably tell the lady she needs to get a job or get out, but then again it's always easier to say what to do than actually do it!...what does she do all day if she does not even clean or cook?
that just seems so odd to me. i hope your dad realizes what is going on, though it could be too by now he just might not want to be alone?
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
30 Mar 08
I think he knows, but for some reason he just takes it. I don't understand it. I have a feeling he has always felt sorry for her, that could be the reason he stays. My father was once pretty well off, which is the reason she probably latched on to him in the first place, but he is not a wealthy many any more. He is struggling to provide for both of them, that is what is so heart breaking about all this.
My Dad is a very gentle and tolerant person, he stayed married to my Mom for years when I am certain his heart was somewhere else. He made sure that all of us kids were gone and married before he ended the marriage which I am sure he did for us. If my Mom had not confronted him he probably would have stayed with her, and kept balancing both women. I think he just doesn't like to hurt anyone. He still jumps every time my mom calls, and still does things for her like a husband does. I know he still cares for her as well.
He would be much better off in every way married to my mom who always catered to his every need, kept a clean house, and always made sure the finances were in order. But he has made his choice to be with a woman that has done nothing but bring him down from day 1. I think he would feel guilty leaving her to her own devices. I think she would probably just find another man to leach on to.
1 person likes this
@pengyuming3 (18)
• China
1 Apr 08
If I was you,I'll pretend to break with my dad if he won't leave away from such lazy horribal woman...your dad should know better than anyone else who the woman is,now what he lacks of is some courage,and I think your blood relationship is tighter enough than her,so I think you are the key and only chance to break your dad waken up.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 08
It sounds like the lady teamed up with your dad because she thinks he is her sugar daddy which is so sad. he really needs to break it off as she apparently is not helping him at all. I feel for your dad and wish his girlfriend would wise up and help him.
