It Seems I'm a Whackjob...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
March 30, 2008 12:49pm CST
Sometimes we go through life wondering what other ppl think about us. I don’t have to wonder anymore thanks to my oldest Brother. Yesterday, while I was at his house and we were discussing old times when we were kids, he lets me in on a little family secret…it seems I’m a psychopath…at least that’s what ppl up North where my Dad lives think about me.
After my parents divorced when I was 5, my oldest Brother and I went back and forth between my Dad and Mom living with each. My Dad had remarried and had a daughter. I had problems dealing with a lot of it…I know that…a lot of kids do. All in all I thought I had come through it alright and moved on.
A few years ago, my oldest Brother and I were working with our Mom doing some remodeling and got to talking. He brought up how when I lived at Dad’s and went nuts. I had no clue what he was talking about. Then he announces that I had been to see a shrink while we lived with our Dad…I had absolutely no recollection of ever going to one. I got home and called my Stepmother and she said yes, I’d went like 3 times a week for a while. Suddenly, it all came rushing back…I remembered all kinds of things that 5 minutes earlier hadn’t been there.
Now, yesterday he tells me that ppl up North all thought I was a psychopath. It just really makes me feel good to know that while I thought of the times I lived up there as good and part of what made me who I am…that everyone up there thought I was some kind of whackjob that needed to be locked up.
I looked up psychopath in the dictionary: A person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.
Lovely to think that part of my own family thinks of me this way…
It upsets me, not to mention I was up and down most the night with bad dreams and it upsets Hubby to see me upset. I just need to find a way to get past it. Right now it’s really weighing on my mind.
Any suggestions on getting past it? How would you feel if you found out ppl thought this way about you? Would you worry that they may be right?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
20 people like this
41 responses
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
31 Mar 08
I wouldn't worry too much about it, twoey, since you know what type of person you really are. It is what's inside you that counts. When a child has gone through a traumatic experience they cannot help but come away somewhat damaged. The only real difference is that some are better able to cope than others. You got the help you needed at the time, and that's what's important.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Personally, why would they be choosing to bring it up after all of these yrs unless they are only trying to hurt you? I would think your Best interest would be to just ignore everything, and move on from there. If this means avoiding your family that thinks of you this way then just move on, and be with your husband and others that Love you not worrying about the ones who do not. This is one thing I have had to learn and even if it hurts, you can move on from here.
Also, remember to Pray about it, and remember God is in control. Most of the time in our life, we do not always understand what is going on in our lives, but it we choose to work around them, and move on, we will be so much better.
3 people like this
@Stiletto (4579)
•
1 Apr 08
Well I've always been thought of as the whackjob in my family. Maybe people outside the family think the same way as well for all I know. I honestly couldn't care less. People will think what they want anyway so why worry about it or waste time trying to change their opinions?
I think you should try to keep this in perspective. It happened a long time ago, you reacted in exactly the same way as many small children do in that situation, you know you're not a psychopath and anyone that calls you that or thought that about you obviously has no clue what the word actually means!
The other thing I would point out here is that the only person that's really said anything to you about it is your brother! When he's saying to you that people thought you were a "psychopath" well - that's his opinion/recollection of the situation. How does he know what people thought?? Anyway, it really doesn't matter. I know if you're a sensitive person it's easier said than done, but try not to let it bother you.
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
31 Mar 08
That was a long time ago, and you know better than that. Don't worry about what other people think. Your hubby doesn't think so either. I have learned a long time ago, I have to live for me and not worry what other people think.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Well i will tell you this Twoey,divorce really is a bad thing when it comes to children,thats why people should Not get married and have children then when they feel secure and loved by both parents ,all of a sudden the rug is pulled out from under you...The Dad you thought loved your Mom and you kids,and the Mom that loved Dad,all of a sudden fell out of love,this will blow a childs mind...Its the kids that suffer always..Then your Dad marries another woman and has another child which makes you feel even more unloved....People use the term psychopath real loosely ,they don't really even know what the word really means..If someone is confused ,they don;t know what to say so they say psychopath...If a person gets in a bad mood they say you are bipolar....It was perfectly normal for a child that was thrown around like you were at a early age to need therpy....That does not make you a psychopath,besides even if you were it was your parents fault,they caused it by doing all they did...If some little stange girl tried taking my daddy away from me like yours did,and that half sister was trying to take over your daddy,I would have hated her guts,just like you did..I mean you were a child,my God what do they think you should have done....I would not care WHAT they thought...The next time anyone meationed it to me,if i were you i would say "yeah My parents through me into therpy because of what they did,but i have forgiven them,that was a long time ago and i do not want to hold grudges..Just do like they do"Throw it back to them because they caused you to be that way......
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Ps: I really have read most all of your discussions and to tell you the truth i think you have had to overcome a lot..I just wanted to add that even though your parents do not realize it ,parents cause their children a lot of problems,its not their intentions to do it but it happens...We are resposibile for our children when they are small,and your parents were responsibile for you ,and that big huge change did a head job on you as a child and it would have done that to me as well...So you did good under the circumstances....
2 people like this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
30 Mar 08
You were not a whackjob. You were a 5 year old child that had to deal with your Mom and Dad divorcing. I hope they had the common decency to explain to you that it was nothing that you did that caused the divorce. A lot of kids think this way. They are wrong and if they can't see that it was a 5 year old that was having problems due to the situation then they are small people. Don't let them get to you. You know you are not a whackjob as you put it. But a sensitive loving person. Let those others go fly a kite.
2 people like this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
30 Mar 08
LOL I like the part of let them go fly a kite. I am a very, very sensitive person and get my feelings hurt very easily so this kind of thing upsets me to no end. However, I am trying to come to terms with it by looking at it from the perspective of the ppl up there don't know me and so any opinions they've formed are based on gossip and rumors.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Wow, as far as I am concerned you do not seem like a wrack job to me. You seem perfectly normal to me. My first thought on reading this was..."what in the heck was them people doing to you, what the heck kind of crap did you go thru". Something big must have happened, could it have been your parents splitting up. That can mess with your mind. Also what went on with your new stepmother and new sister, how were you treated. There probably is more to it. I wouldn't worry about it, I would do my best to put it behind me.
REMEMBER YOUR SAYING...............
**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
30 Mar 08
Wow that sounds like something my sister would say about me...lol And she was a real whack-job as a kid...hehe One of my friends mother's sent a picture of a frankenstein type monster and labeled it as my sister... she was horrible. She had such a temper and was into things she shouldn't have been from a really young age. But hey we are all adults now...I think that was unfair in my sisters case and yours too. Kids have all kinds of problems to deal with...having need of counseling or psychiatric care does not a whack-job make...lol I still would have been as shocked as you if it were me... Maybe you could check in with some of those northerners and let them see you are just as normal as one can be. Or you could do what I would do and say..."Oh well" I wouldn't let it get you down, that was then and this is now.
Blessed Be, Mari
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
30 Mar 08
I can remember when I was a kid different one's including my Aunt and Stepmother saying "She's just like her mother" and not meaning it as a compliment. As for checking with those Northerners...my Dad, Stepmother, Half-Sister and her two kids are all due here on the 6th for a week long visit...that may be why it's bothering me so much also.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
30 Mar 08
Maybe while they are there you could casually say "so I hear I was a real whack-job as a kid?" and see what comes of it...lol Good luck I hope all goes well for you.
Brightest Blessings, Mari
1 person likes this
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
30 Mar 08
I wouldn't worry about it anymore if I were you. Young children who have to go through traumatic situations (like divorce) often times don't have the capability to deal with it. That manifests itself into behavior that could be considered abnormal or antisocial. You have obviously moved on and grown from this, and you are not exhibiting any of those behaviors that you did while you were a child.
I know its hard to just forget about what people thought of you, but its in the past and you are not that child anymore. Stand strong and be proud of the fact that you OVERCAME the difficulties that were presented to you in your childhood.
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
31 Mar 08
People are always going to judge you, whether it be for the good or the bad that you've done. Just remember, its what you think of yourself that matters the most.
Your hubby sounds like a wonderful, supportive partner. As long as you have him I am sure you will be able to face anything that comes your way. Don't worry about what other people are thinking. All that matters is YOU.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
30 Mar 08
That is what I am trying to remember. I do remember that I did have alot of trouble seperating dreams from reality and I remember numerous times of other family members including my Aunt and Stepmother saying how I was "just like my mother" and not meaning it in a nice way. I just keep trying to remember that I'm not that same little kid anymore. Everyone always says I have little glass feelings and am always getting them hurt.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
30 Mar 08
Aw hun, no way are you crazy or a whackjob. What you went through as a child was upsetting, but you have turned out pretty cool hun. Please don't let it worry you too much, You are a kind and wonderful person, anyone reading your posts here can tell.
1 person likes this
@nancyrowina (3850)
•
30 Mar 08
The people who said that about you probably didn't know what a psychopath is really anyway so I wouldn't worry about it, they're just ignorant. People can assume all kinds of strange things about you when they hear you've some form of psychiatric treatment, again it's just ignorance. A surprising number of people in the world have never been through anything really bad and have no idea what it's like to have to cope when your world is falling down around you. I take some comfort in the fact one day something bad will happen in their lives and they probably will be the first to be carried off by men in white coats because they can't cope. Where as people who have already been through a lot can handle almost anything life throws at them.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
30 Mar 08
Reading your response, I realized that your probably right on the point that anytime someone hears that your in counceling, therapy, seeing a psychiatrist or going to a mental health facility they automatically assume that your a nut and need to be locked up. Add to that the fact that I was a kid and had some problems and it's really no surprise that they came to that conclusion. As for my Brother, he tends to shoot off his mouth without thinking of anyone else's feelings.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@fpd1955 (2074)
• United States
8 Apr 08
I used to worry about what other people thought of me. It would make me edgy and angry. Today I follow this rule of thought. "It's none of my business what other people think of me." Simple, really. It only matters that I know I am a good person and those that know me well also know this.
You have to know that they are not right! You a psychopath? Hardly and I only know you from your discussions. Those people up North don't truly know you, only remember you from your childhood. You went through a tough thing back then and of course you were emotionally changed because of it. You are all grown up now and have moved on with your life. Obviously, they haven't! That makes you the better person.
Keep keeping on and being you. You are a compassionate, good moraled person. Just remember that!
PEACE
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 08
twoey 68 You have to know you are okay or you would not have beern able to post such an interesting discussion. everyone who goes to a shrink is not a psychopath by any means. kids in a divorce have problems which is only natural but that does not mean you are a whacko at all. NOw you know your hubby is a kind caring man who would not have married you if he had thought you were a whacko so believe in yourself so you have some peace. I would not like it either if myfamily had thought that of mebut I would tell myself they are old fashioned and think anyone goingtoa shrink is Whacko and they are so wrong.No I would not worry that they might be right.I would believe in myself and like myselk and know I am unique.
2 people like this
@Breath (1297)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Honey if your a Whackjob I know I am one also!Most of us have went through something bad while growing up.Each of us have a way to handle what we are going through.I would not worrie about that part of my family.I mean you learned to deal with it grew up and now married with your own family.I think some people just love to talk bad about other people.I am the black sheep in my family after all these years.I have learned to move past what they think of me and just be me.My kids are happy and my husband is happy with me so thats enough proff that I ma not a complete Whackjob.Just be you and live your life.Move on like you was before your brother opened up his mouth.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
1 Apr 08
it is very dangerous making diagnosis when you are not a professional, just like your family called you a psychopath, they do not know what they are talking about,
trust me I am trained in it but what you just says tells me you are not one, psychopaths don't feel things they don't care what they do and much less what anyone else thinks, they don't have feelings like normal people, that fact that you are upset rules that possibility out.
next time ask your brother when did they get their degree in psychiatry, counselling like me or psychology to make that assessment.
1 person likes this
Embrace the psycosis. Don't live in denial... We all know how nuts you are already. 
If you weren't you'd be booring to the rest of us wack jobs. 
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
2 Apr 08
What a silly sausage you are. Those people were judging you on THEIR standards. There is no way you are or could ever be that way.
In fact Twoey, I think you are one of the nicest, sweetest people I've ever met. And you are calm and friendly without going over the top and/or blowing your own trumpet as so many do or at least seem to do.
Just put this episode behind you sweety. It is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Big hugs.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
1 Apr 08
If it were people whom I didn't like ,I would be happy. If they think I am a psychopath then they will leave me alone.But if it is members of my family. I would either break ties with them because they obviously don't know me and never will. Or I would sit them down and talk about it.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
1 Apr 08
I would wonder whether 'everyone up north' actually thought that or whether your brother was exagerrating! Maybe you did see a psychiatrist, so what, there is no shame in that and indeed it seems as though it helped! I know that many people are affected by marriage breakdown between their parents and having to move back and forward would have caused even more stress - I would be more worried if it hadn't affected you in some way! Stay strong sweety you aren't a whackjob although you might have been if you hadn't got help! xxx
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
1 Apr 08
It's not your fault that you had a rough childhood. I think psychopath was an awfully strong term to use to describe you as a child. As far as getting past it...I am not sure. It would be hard for me to not let it bother me, but you know who you are a lot better than they do. Since you do not live around them anymore it might be easier to just try and forget it.
1 person likes this
