Advice.
By kangel48446
@kangel48446 (507)
United States
March 30, 2008 4:17pm CST
Back in 2003, my husband's mom had passed away and his mentally challenged sister went and lived with their older sister in Illinois. We lived with them for a few months and what we experienced was awful! The older sister would only allow us to bathe once MAYBE twice a week. We weren't allowed to flush the toilet after every use - it was only allowed once a day. The food was locked up and only two people were left with the key. We had to move out of there. Since we weren't stable.. his sister had to stay there.
We've been in touch with her since we moved back to Michigan. We were told by his sister that she isn't allowed to speak to her brother. She doesn't receive any mail that we send to her. The older sister is making her think that we want nothing to do with her!
My husband and I have seriously been looking at our options to bringing his sister home. We're probably going to hire an attorney.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@keeperofthetruth1 (77)
• United States
30 Mar 08
I think that is your best option. She doesn't need to be living in conditions like that at all. Your lawyer will probably advise you to contact the county health board there and report them. Having the conditions being founded by a government organization will help prove your case of neglect in court. If you know anyone that might testify for you, give their names to the attorney. Since his sister resides in Illinois, you will probably have to take her to court in Illinois. I would first contact legal aide about this. That way you don't pay full fee to see the lawyer.
Another thing you could do is call the state law review board and they could recommend a lawyer to you. In our state, they will send you a coupon so that when you go to see him, the visit only cost you $10 and the state picks up the rest of the cost for the visit.
Just a couple of ideas. Good Luck and thanks.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Now that is some good information. I need to look into that. Thanks!
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Are you living close by now? Are you able to monitor what else might be going on in the house? Have you asked the sister about taking the other sister? You never know, she may be to a point where caring for the sister with special needs has lost it's appeal (whatever it may have been in the first place) and she may just say she'd willingly send her to you & your husband. If she's not, hiring an attorney is the way to go. Honestly, although I see why you are concerned what you said here isn't quite abuse. The water issue, if she lives somewhere where there are droughts & she's dependent on well water she could defend why she doesn't let people use extra water. Locking the fridge is pretty common with foster home type places too. Again, I see why you are concerned but I don't think it's enough to qualify as abuse or to get a judge to change her placement-unless you can show how these things negatively effect the sister. Regardless of my opinion, contact an attorney & get some legal help.
@kangel48446 (507)
• United States
1 Apr 08
No, that's what is making things even more difficult. We came back to Michigan where our family lives but he still has some family down in Illinois besides his sisters. They all know the situation and they would like to see her with my husband. He has talked to his sister about having (D) visit to meet her neices and see the rest of her family up here.
Infact, he has talked with his older sister today and she said that my husband will never get (D) away from her. We also found out that (D) is on heart medication because she's overweight. According to the older sister, (D) is supposed to be on a diet but constantly eats junk food. He just left it at that.. he's hoping that if he gets on his older sister's good side, it'll keep him involved in (D)'s life until we can figure something out.
This situation makes me so sad. I feel so helpless and I know what she's been going through because we lived it for sometime.
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Wow that all sounds so awful, especially the toilet part, only one flush a day, thats just nasty. Sounds like his challenged sister is not being treated very well. Shes not even allowed to go and get herself food when she wants it being that the cabinets are locked. Good luck with the attorney. sounds like you's really are the ones with the sister best interest at heart. I hope it all works out for you.
@tessah (6617)
• United States
31 Mar 08
id hafta agree with the majority of the other posters saying an attorney is a good place to start. im assuming that she also recieves an income from disability, which is prolly the motivation behind your sister in law keeping her there in the first place, just a hunch. good luck with it.
@lian3town (21)
• Philippines
31 Mar 08
i think you should hire a lawyer and a psycholgist or psychiatrist
if you get to court, you guys i think will need testimonial from a professional
i wish you good luck
i have a brother who's special too and it breaks my heart to think of the situation of your sister in law is in right now
@twinrachel (215)
•
31 Mar 08
It sounds like going to attorney is probaly the best way to do it. You have obviously tried to keep in touch and if you went there are tried to force her to come with you or steal her away you coudl get in very big trouble. If you contact an attorney you will be able to find out your legal rights and hopefullywill be able to prove that you can provide a much better home environment for her.
I wish you luck with this - I do hope that everything works out for the best for everyone concerned.
