Which Lover do you prefer?
By jeaniezheng
@jeaniezheng (229)
China
March 31, 2008 12:30am CST
First lover is unforgettable,although it is sadness or happiness.
I have my first in my ssenior school.He is a very handsome and excellent boy at that time.We loved each other.But he always made me unsafe for I am always afraid of losing him.When we graduated I broke up with him for i refused to come to the same university with him,and lose all contact with him.Although I still can not forget him now.
But when we are nearly graduated from the university he got to contact withme wanted me to return.At that time I have got my bf,although I love him more I still refused.And i even not reget although I always miss him.
The reason for me to refus him again is that we haven't lived in the similar atmosphere,and my mother don't agree with our relation.All the conditions made us a big distance.
And my bf now is a very good man who loves me more and a good temper.
If you were me what should you do? And what is your method to choose your lover?
2 people like this
6 responses
@LucyZhang (313)
• China
31 Mar 08
If i were you, I think i will do the same thing. You should cherish your BF now, althought you and your first lover still have chemistry, but when two people plan to live together, their life need not only love, but also understanding and similar interests. If two persons live in differnet atomasphere, there will be more gap between them, sometimes it is hard to communicate. First love is memorable, you can save the feeling in your deep heart.
2 people like this
@LucyZhang (313)
• China
2 Apr 08
yes. Love is not eaqual to marriage, but marriage need love. Love is a feeling and romantic, we are all princes and pricesses in love. Peoples are blind in love, they can ignore each others shortcoming. Marriage is true life, couples live together and face the real world, they need food, house..., sometime they will quarrel or even fight, but they will feel happy when they become mature and grew older together.
2 people like this
@jeaniezheng (229)
• China
2 Apr 08
Yes,what you said has to my heart. we are eye to eye with each other. Yes actually I have no idea to live with him in my deep heart. i believe in my sixth sense. Marriage is not equal to love. that is the truth. What do you think?
1 person likes this
@monty_zhang (13)
• China
18 Apr 08
Yes,Jeanie! You did the right thing.And you will be happy with your husband.
May you happy everyday.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
31 Mar 08
First, know what you want and set your priorities straight. Once you know what you want, start making a list and asking yourself questions. What do you want in a man? Does this man meet your standards? How does he make you feel? How badly do you want to be with him? How does he treat you? How well do you know him? How does he react to you? What would he do for you? What does he want? Will he be there for you? Do you fit into his plans? Do you fit into his life? What do you have in common? Do your plans conflict, or can your plans and his plans work well together? I asked so many questions before getting together with my boyfriend. I wanted to really know who he was and what he wanted. I am still getting to know him and I am still learning about what he wants, but one thing is clear, he and I want each other, and I would feel lost without him.
@jeaniezheng (229)
• China
2 Apr 08
yes mutual communication is very important for the couple and mutual satisfaction is also very important. If we know what we want from the half part that will be solved. And we can spend the life long time together.Choose a husband is not the same as a BF. Right?
2 people like this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
2 Apr 08
Wrong, choosing a boyfriend is the exact same as choosing a husband. The man that you choose to be your boyfriend could very well be the man who ends up your husband, at least, that is how it works in the U.S. When it came to choosing my boyfriend, who I hope will be my husband one day, I had a lot of questions. The same questions that I put up before your response. I still have a lot of questions to this day, but in time, they are getting answered. When you choose a boyfriend, you have to be careful and you have to question. If the man that you end up with does things that you are not happy about or he does things that you do not like, then you may end up leaving him. Do not be with a man that you really truly do not want to be with. Women who date or marry men that they do not want to be with end up very miserable and unhappy with themselves and their situation. Divorce rates are high these days. Do not become a statistic. Again, be with the man that you really do want to spend the rest of your life with.
1 person likes this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
2 Apr 08
My "method" is to choose whoever I love most and want to be with. Not parental approval, not financial security, not anything. I want to be with who I want to be with, not who society or my parents tell me I "should" be with.
If I were you, I would probably have given the first guy a second chance. Maybe he's grown up and is more of a man than he was before. Or maybe you no longer have anything in common and don't want to be with him and what you had was just puppy love. I don't like "what ifs" and regrets. I would rather try and fail then wonder what could have been.
@jeaniezheng (229)
• China
9 Apr 08
Before I was an idealism as you are. But I realise now that love is not equal with marriage. In marriage there are so many elements to stable it,not only love. I now find my true lover.I have no regret for my past decision.I know that I should cherish what I own now.
1 person likes this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
14 Apr 08
Um, I'm not idealistic and I'm highly offending by that accusation. I think that marrying for any other reason than real love is shallow. There are no "other reasons for marriage". Not one HAS to get married, marriage is not a requirement for life. The only reason you should ever get married is because you truly want to spend the rest of your life with someone, to share everything with, to love and care for.
I AM getting married. In 6 weeks. To MY first love. Not because he's rich, because he's not and he never will be. Not because "he'll be a great father" because I can't have kids. But because I truly love him and I want to share my life with him. End of story.
@jeaniezheng (229)
• China
17 Apr 08
Yes,although I said that love is not equal with marriage,marriage can not be out of love.You are the lucky one to marry with your first love.In my opinion marry the first one is not common.So may you happy.
1 person likes this
@maggiemoon (487)
• China
31 Mar 08
I have to say that your choice is very very wise for your boyfriend and yourself.After all,to chase for a unknown game of love is too unreasonable according to your age.What you need is steady love and home feeling for ever.Am I right?
@jeaniezheng (229)
• China
2 Apr 08
Yes I agree with you. marriage needs stable love and members. But if only want to enjoy the long life and love, that one is possible but not last long time. Right?
1 person likes this
@bojangles88 (649)
•
18 Apr 08
The best is my current boyfriend, because he is the first guy Ive felt like this with. Hes the first one Ive let be close to me, and although Im not quite sure if it's love on my part, I know that he loves me and that it's definitely the closest Ive been to it so far.
@jeaniezheng (229)
• China
21 Apr 08
Hello bojangles!
That is a lucky thing for you to have living with a man you have feelings with.Please cherish all you have now.We are maybe the similar,I love my husband very much.So life is happy.
May you all happy!
1 person likes this
