Husband home all day how do you manage with the housework and
By suspenseful
@suspenseful (40192)
Canada
March 31, 2008 9:55am CST
everything like that? Since my husband retired, he has been home all day. Now I do not mind when he is downstairs fixing up the basement, but in the morning, he spends the time, watching Tv and although I can do the laundry, and the dishes, I would like to get in the living room and do more than just near the couch, I want to vacuum the whole room. I could do it while he is downstairs, but sometimes he has to turn part of the power off. So how do you all manage, now that your husband is at home?
10 people like this
25 responses
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
28 Jun 08
He is getting better now. I guess he realizes that I am not his mother, at least he better.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
My husband has his own computer and when he does, he is listening to his radio plays and that can be annoying. And I would rather he be out of the way when I do the cleaning. He had a mother who you could eat off her living room floor type. That is rather annoying since those types tend to criticize and say this is not cleaned enough, or be sure to rinse the dishes before you put them into the dishwasher type,, etc.
It would have been better if his mother was not so perfect.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
31 Mar 08
I would leave the vacuum in the middle of living room for him to vacuum when he is done watching.
Housework need to be shared.
When I was small, my dad was always in basement "working" on something. In reality, he was just taking his time off, because he didn't help my mother.
My mother in the other hand was doing shopping, cleaning and cooking.
I have learn how to be demanding.
HUGS
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
1 Apr 08
pola,
I love your solution! so long as it is said nicely that should create no problems.
Honey, this floor really needs vacuumed and I hate to interrupt your show - I will just leave the vacuum here then so when your show is over you can give it a quick run over.
thanks, love! now I can do the dusting and not have to worry about whether the floor is vacuumed!
2 people like this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
1 Apr 08
...we know how to be demanding in very nice way....
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Apr 08
set ground rules, let him know when you are going to clean get out of the way.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
I can tell him to move when I am doing the vacuum or just do it anyway and hope that he moves out of the way. Now with his stroke, it is going to be harder.
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Although I don't have a husband I do know how you feel. Right now my brother is living with us and he does almost nothing around the house to help out. He is always in my way when I'm cleaning and to be honest I hate it. He only does something if I pointedly ask him to and then bug him on it. He at least knows enough not to try and say I'm in his way or anything like that. If I'm moping he will move from the computer and go outside (we don't have carpets) but overall he just sits there and watches me do work he knows I shouldn't be doing (I have a lot of injuries and doing housework puts me in a lot of pain) but if I waited for him to do them they would never get done.
If I'm doing something though and he is in the way I'll tell him to move. If he doesn't like it too bad. If need be tell your husband I'm going to vacuum the room on these days at this time. I need to do the whole room on these days so you need to be out of the room for the 15 minutes while I do it.
Thank you for letting me vent on him. It helped believe me. Now if I could just get him to move out I'd be happy.
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
12 Apr 08
Thank you so much for the best response. I sure wasn't expecting that since all I did was vent about my brother.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
I suppose any relative or member of the family who prevents you from cleaning a room, let alone the whole house, is not that helpful. At least the lazy bum, excuse me your brother, could help, but I suppose his little pinky hurt and he is so tired from thinking of all those excuses to not work.
At least, my husband now has an excuse. He had a small stroke. Maybe you can sneak all his stuff out of his room and put them in boxes and leave them outside. Or maybe do not set his plate for dinner.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
11 Apr 08
You don't know my husband he likes a clean house. I also do not like anything on the floor. It is just that I also have been brought up not to disturb anyone so there is this conflict there. I also do not think that i should not just let him lay there on the couch when the carpet needs cleaning just because he is still alive. I doubt you did that when your husband was around.
@MrsCarney9507 (30)
• United States
1 Apr 08
I agree. You should be glad your husband gets to be home and there with you at the house. I hate that my husband has to work all day and when he gets home he is so tired that he just doesnt feel up to doing anything or going out with me so really its not like the house needs to be vacuumed everyday so every couple of days when he is downstairs just run the vacuum through the living room. Really its not like it takes 30 mins to vacuum a room.
1 person likes this
@nova1945 (1612)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Mine isn't retired yet, I'm the one retired. I truly enjoy my alone time to schedule housework when I want or go shopping when I want to. He retires next summer and I am not looking forward to it. I know that sounds mean, but he is one of those neat freaks who has to comment on everything I do being done "wrong." It drives me crazy. He is perfectly happy with the end result of my "wifely duties" but is just one of those men who is the only one alive whose method of doing anything is the right way. Hope I can find him a hobby by next year. lol
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
31 Mar 08
And I suppose that no one was as good as his mother and you could eat off the floor at her house. Right?
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
29 Jun 08
That's for sure. Only she was starting to grow senile when he was growing up so i did not have to worry about that. My husband came from a large family.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Apr 08
My husband is home all day and does the housework. He is unemployed and actually enjoys housework. He is not a slacker by any sense of the term.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
My husband cannot do much because of his stroke. I am waiting until he works on the basement. I asked him if we could hire someone to do the basement, but he said he'd wait. The only housework I hate is changing the light bulbs that are in the ceiling. Scared of heights, the rest I can do.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
7 Apr 08
It is very hard sometimes. I usually try to make sure he has something to occupy himself some place else in the house if I have to have that area for a while. I also make sure that he lets me have my time and space to get my work done also.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
I really should be doing the vacuuming when he is in the computer room, unless he is listening to his radio plays. Then he wants to have complete silence. Why he does not want me to talk. And I figured it could be done during the commercials, but when we watch movies on HBO and TCM, there are no commercials, so I have to find a different way to get things done. I usually wait until he is out, but then when he is mowing the lawn, he wants me there as well.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
5 Apr 08
It is hard when a man is home all day but i just have to go around him because he watches TV every day all day long and hardly moves...I don't really know what to say except i wish he was working..lol
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
My husband took early retirement. Mind you that is a good thing, since he saved a lot, had a good pension, and it seems that quite a lot of retirements from the railway where he worked are getting strokes so we at least had a holiday in Alaska, and in the Prince Edward Islands, but I sure wish he would get better, so we can go to Florida in November.
I wish he would get over his stroke, and we could get the basement done.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
14 Apr 08
It does completely change my routine if my husband is home during the day. It seems as though he is always in my way of cleaning or he doesn't want me to do anything but watch tv with him and I don't watch tv during the day.
I would ask him politely if he would vacuum the living room. He should do it if he doesn't want you to do it when you want too.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
You should see my husband when a Harry Potter movie comes on. He wants me to watch it and would you also believe he also watches the Judge shows. At least he does not watch soap operas, but then neither do it. It is when there is a good movie on in the day time, and then even I cannot do the housework. I am a Thin Man fan myself, and during the Nick and Nora movies, nothing gets done.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
31 Mar 08
I am so thankful my husband isn't home all the time because I know what you are saying.. When he takes 1 or 2 weeks vacation time and is sitting at home, I can't clean the house, it is horrible..
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
He happens to be the critical type so I tend to clean the rooms he is not in. I also clean before he gets up, and it is taking like forever. And when he is listening to his radio plays I cannot even clean the computer room. I have some magazines I want to put in a folder. And when I bought one of those mops to clean the kitchen floor, he complained, but it works much better than the sponge mop we had before so now it is all right. I will have to get a refill so I can have one in the wash and one to clean the floor.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
3 Sep 08
Now I am in your position of having him home all the time..He hurt his back about 3-4 weeks ago and who knows when he will go back..I am about to loss it, and he is not allowed to do anything because of his back injury, I feel like I have another child in the house..
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
10 Apr 08
My husband does most of the housework. Control freak! I'm not even allowed to touch the kitchen! lol. Maybe you could get your hubby to do the vacuuming for you.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
He does vacuum for me, but then he starts to comment on what I have missed. I find it easier to do the housework myself. And besides I really cannot trust that he would not throw away something necessary. Then a while later, he wants to know where it is and I have to tell him, that he threw it away.
1 person likes this
@ruby222 (4847)
•
8 Apr 08
My hubby is home all of the time too...but touch the wood it works fine !!..he just sets too and does some of the work...which is great...some women i know dont like their hubbys `joining in` and sharing the work...but it suits me fine.
Maybe his way of doing things is different from mine...but im not worried about it....he also pops to town for the bits and pieces we need every day...it keeps him occupied...plus i get a little peace whil he is gone!!!
I always thought than when he was at home all of the time..life would become difficult ...but i was very wrong..in actual fact ive been lucky..life is better...
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
My husband is suppose to fix up the basement, but he had a stroke, so his left side is weaker, so he cannot do much lifting on that side. So I have to wait until he recovers. So now he is on the sofa in the morning, and in the afternoon, we go to the Mall or someplace to do some shopping. He is also waiting for an opening at our city hospital because the physiotherapy is paid for by the province. Else he has to pay it and Blue Cross only pays for so much.
@ramyashreesk (1021)
• India
23 Jun 08
Now that your husband was not at home all these days, he doesn't know about your routine works isn't it?
Try to explain to him what you feel, and how you feel comfortable with him, when he is at home and what all you were doing when he was not there.
Like am not experienced, its just my suggestion! Be cool, you will gradually get acquainted to changed environment.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
He is home all day now, except when he gets his hair cut. He is retired, and now he had a stroke so he cannot even go down to fix up the basement and has difficulty going down the stairs. It takes him like forever. So now I have to wait until he gets better or vacuum around him. The other part like sweeping and dusting and throwing away is fine. It is just the vacuuming part, because he has to move his feet and I have to wait until the commercials are on.
That is when I do most of my vacuuming.
@sanell (2112)
• United States
1 Apr 08
ugh I can never get anything done when my husband is home or even when both my kids and he is home. I just do not even bother, he does not help with much unless I ask him and that is hard enough. anyway, it is nice that you are getting him to do some work even if it is in the basement. That is really nice.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
I really should vacuum, but it is hard to do with my husband watching the television. And when our sons were home, it was very hard to get anything done. I had to wait until they were at school. Then to top it off, my husband decided he liked the afternoon shift, so could not vacuum in the morning. So it does not seem much different since he is now home.
Now he had a stroke and cannot finish off the basement and our sons have not picked up their pool table yet. 
@Stiletto (4579)
•
1 Apr 08
I would give him a choice. Either go somewhere else out of your way so that you can do what you want to do, or leave the vacuum cleaner for him to vacuum the room once he's finished watching TV. Maybe I'm cynical but I just have a hunch he would go somewhere else and leave you free to get on with what you want to do lol!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
Well he can always go to the computer room, as long as he does not want to listen to his radio plays and I do the vacuuming then. That is the main worry. I am supposed to vacuum once a week and sometimes I have to leave for two weeks. I pick up the papers, but how can you vacuum when your husband is watching a movie with no commercials? I will manage somehow.
When he does listen to his radio plays, I wonder why he does not use the head phones.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Just as well my husband works or else I'll be telling him to move his butt from the lounge so I can clean it up haha. I did that on Saturday when he and our son were playing PSP2 games. I interrupted them and said, sorry mummy's got to clean the lounge. They mumbled and grumbled but moved anyways haha and they both helped!
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
At least he does not have a PlayStation. Then I would never get anything done and our sons would decide to come over after work, or they would buy Playstations themselves and there would go the evening. My husband also had a stroke so he cannot fix up the basement and that is rather hard on me.
So I guess I have to wait for the commercials and for him to get on the computer.
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
1 Apr 08
my husband works overnights - so I have a slightly different problem - that is, he is asleep during the day hours and I do not wish to disturb his sleep. We just have to learn how to work and function around each other. there are always solutions.
I would vacuum during your husband's television commercial breaks. he will only have to lift his feet once - unless you make him a treat and leave it in the kitchen - then when it comes time for you to vacuum under his chair let him know "sweets, I made you your favorite treats - they are on the counter, my love" then when he gets up to get them you can quickly vacuum under his chair - and have that done, plus you will have made him happy for your thinking of him so fondly as to make him a special snack...
of course that might backfire if he decides to eat it over your freshly vacuumed floor, hehe.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
He would get the crumbs in he sofa and then I would have to wait until he moves his feet. Oh and those commercial breaks. That is when he wants his tea. As for the sweets, he is too busy watching Tv to go to the kitchen. In fact, I make some and wind up eating most myself since he wants me to put them on the coffee table and there is enough stuff as it is. He uses it as his plan work table. We got designs on how to fix the basement, and I hope one for the back yard, but I doubt it.
@moneyandgc (3428)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Wow. I don't have a whole lot of advice. My husband is only 30 so he is no where near retirement. I don't know what I would do if he were home all day every day. As it is, on the weekends when he is here I get virtually no cleaning done.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
It is driving me batty. Right now, I am on myLot, typing away, but the only time I can get something done is when he sleeping, and that just is the dusting and sweeping floors, and taking stuff out to the garbage. The vacuuming and stuff that requires much noise, I have to wait until he is up. Now with his stroke, he cannot fix up the basement and I have to wait until he is otherwise occupied, to vacuum the living room.
@jhl930 (3601)
• United States
31 Mar 08
I don't have a husband...but I would say that whenever he is downstairs I would ask him to please leave the power on for a few more minutes so that I can vacuum the whole floor so that I can get what I need to get done...and I am sure that he would let you do that...I mean I am sure that he loves you and that he would be willing to do that for you so that it would make your job easier for you to get finished...just my opinion on the subject....
JHL930
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
I can do that. We will not have any more problems until the inspectors come in, and that will not happen until he gets over his stroke. Then our sons have to come for their pool table, the old computers, I have to take all their old books to Value Village, get rid of the old medical books, etc. That is going to take some time.
