Do other people make you feel FAT and UGLY?
@jewelenterprises (1996)
Australia
March 31, 2008 11:56pm CST
Modern society has a very limited and (quite frankly) unhealthy view of what a person should look like.
As a teenager, my mother used to call me 'little miss fat a**, no t*ts' Because I was flat chested and had wide hips, otherwise known as 'good childbearing hips' which is probably why all three of my children weighed 8-10 pound at birth... they had PLENTY of room for growth. Of course, having big hips I'd look very strange if I had nothing to flesh it out with so yes, I do have a big bottom! I have a classic 'pear' shaped body... no fat from the waist up or the knees down. All excess fat gravitates to my hips and thighs.
Of course, as I'm 42 now my teenage years were a LONG time ago. Today's attitude as to what is acceptable is probably even worse than it was then.
In western society (US, UK, Australia etc) the perceived ideal is what the modelling agencies look for which is a 24" waist.. for goodness sakes, a waist that size puts women in about a size 8 or 10. For the average person to try to reach that size would make them anorexic!
Do any of you remember the Barbie Doll furore of several years ago? Girls trying to get a figure like Barbie and ending up anorexic.
You know, someone measured Barbie and discovered that if she had the 24" waist that modelling agencies were looking for she would be 7'3" (220cm) tall and weigh only 14.5 stone (92kg)... Now how is that for an unrealistic image to portray?
Unfortunately, in these days too many people look only at appearances. Those who don't fit the ideal are written off as ugly. Average sized people get told they are FAT.
The fact is, no matter what size you are you are beautiful in yourself.... Size does not matter!
So what are your stories regarding weight? Do other people make you feel fat and ugly? Do you feel bad because you don't look like a model?
2 people like this
4 responses
@jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
1 Apr 08
Is it because you're very slim, or is it the things you say? Please tell me it's NOT the things you say!
@jennawinseverytime (377)
• United States
2 Apr 08
is it because your ego was bruised or did your mom drop you on your head?
@jennawinseverytime (377)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Unfortunately it seems that there are always those immature people that feel so bad about themselves they point out other peoples insecurities just so they dont have to look at themselves. For me, it seems I can never get through a relationship without my boyfriend (exes) telling me at some point that I am fat. It's been a killer to my self esteem, once I went to a party and was having a great time until someone called me fatty and then fifteen minutes later (after slapping the guy in the face) his friend called me the same thing even though he outweighed me by a hundred, I pointed this out to him and he followed me outside and beat me in the face, It was an awful night. I am now nine months pregnant and yesterday I was walking across the street at the mall and some guy yelled out "walk a little faster and you might burn a calorie". I dont understand how people so cruel are allowed outside of there houses. Ofcourse Im not skinny right now I am days away from poppin a kid out. Even when I weighed 115 pounds my boyfriend at the time told me I was fat when we were fighting. I am only 5 foot
one and have always been within my healthy weight range however there is always someone out there that doesnt want you to feel good about yourself. It sucks because now I dont trust men, havent been with one throughout this pregnancy, I dont go to parties and I dont trust a lot of people who call themselves my friends so I just stay inside its my safe cave. I finally went out to the mall and I couldnt go the whole day without someone trying to bring me down. Its hard for me to find peace in the matter but I know I will. Its cruel to call anyone names, unless ofcourse its your ex boyfriend and he has called you the three letter word that all woman hate. These people must be extremely miserable and have only a few braincellls left to talk to other people like that. Kharma makes its way, sometimes I guess it just takes longer than we want.
@jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
1 Apr 08
Yes, people can be very cruel. I no longer allow their opinions to affect me. I'm 5'6" and weigh 165 lb.
These days if someone asks me what I am doing about my weight problem (and the occasionaly person inevitably does) I just reply...
'I DON'T HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM... BUT IT'S OBVIOUS YOU DO!'
1 person likes this
@lonewolfnan (4366)
• Canada
1 Apr 08
When growing up,I remember the "perfect" figure was 36-24-36 and that myth hurt alot of girls growing up.Pictures all showed girls whose waist you could put your hands around.This was also the time when girls were expected to marry and be stay-at-home mothers.
It took me a long time to realize that someone can not "make" me feel bad.If I chose to accept their beliefs,then I have set myself up for guilt and depression.I am comfortable with my weight and my looks.I guess maturity has a lot to do with how we feel younger.
@jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
1 Apr 08
I can relate to that, I had my first child around the time that the expectancy of stay a home mums was becoming less fashionable... now in our societies a mother is practically expected to return to work and leave her kids in daycare... not a good thing in my opinion. But unfortunately it's probably necessary in these economic times... it's very difficult for families to survive on a single wage.
I like your assertion that no-one can 'make' you feel bad... that is SO true. It's only when we take on board the attitude behind it that we start feeling bad.
I certainly don't feel bad about my body. I'm about 19 pound bigger than my estimated 'healthy' weight but it doesn't worry me... I'm just 'CURVALICIOUS' LOL.
And I agree that as we mature we learn to break free of others expectations of us :)
1 person likes this
@lonewolfnan (4366)
• Canada
2 Apr 08
What is the use of having a steak when it is all bone??How may times have you cut yourself on a curve?Who are the first to go in a plane crash survival?These are questions that I think we know the answer to.So the next time you see someone who is too thin,just smile to yourself and wish them a good day.
@gxnfly (1147)
• China
1 Apr 08
Yes,sort of.I a little bit fat,and I am short in high.I used always blame my parents ,cause I am the shortest in my family,I thought they gave me too much work to do when I was a little age.They bought me some sort of heighten shoes and other facilities that help me grow high.But all turned out just a waste of money.Modern society most people go to extremes to judge others by appearances.I know that's too superficial.But myself I can't avoid that either.If I have to find a boyfriend,then he must be tall and not too ugly.If he is short in heigh ,I probably won't consider him ,unless he is really talented.
When I watch the TV,the all actress are beautiful slim and tall,they do make me feel fat and too normal.But whatever,I can't change anything.I just need to keep fit and be healthy.
@jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
1 Apr 08
Those actresses you see that make you feel fat are not AVERAGE... they're the size 8-10 super skinny types most likely... the vast majority of people are size 12-16
Keeping fit and healthy is far more important than being tall or skinny.
Only by refusing to accept the superficial standards of society can we hope to change them.
Here in Australia a company (Dove skin care) is running what it calls the 'campaign for real beauty' It focuses on realistically sized women and women of all ages (not just the young ones). I think it's a great initiative.
