How to make his mom care?

That is a heartbreaker. It's hard to relate such information to a 4 year old and they fully grasp it. In his mind, she is his 'mommy', and he still loves and misses her. It will take time and aging on his part for him to see the truth of the matter. All I can suggest to you, is to try and be there for him, make him feel wanted and cared for (which I am sure you are already doing), and soon his little eyes will be opened. If you feel action needs to be taken to help the child, then I think his daddy should enlighten his mommy about the damage that her absence is causing him. Best of luck with the matter, and I hope things work out soon for you all.

I would suggest talking to the mother about how her son feels towards the mother always dropping him back home on such a short day. If that doesn't work then I would suggest talking to your husband and asking him if he would be willing to take legal action against the woman and allow no communications. He is at such a young age that he will not remember his mother after a while. It is a harsh thing to do but that is the only thing I could think of that might help. If his mother wishes not to communicate with her son in a way that a mother should then it seems to me that she doesn't care for him as much as she should, or rather as much as she may let on. Counseling may be another idea, for the mother that is. A nice chat with someone professional or rather otherwise may give the mother notice of how her behavior towards her son is effecting his growth. talk to your step son about the way he feels towards his mother not coming to see him, as well. I know he may have given you a little insight but allowing him to open up more by talking for a longer amount of time about his feelings may give you further insight on what to do. Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out for the better.

First I am so glad that you are genuinely caring for the happiness of this hapless boy. Being separated from the mother at this tender age is as it is crushing for his tender mind and on top of that, people have a tendency to be perfunctorily courteous and dutiful to someone not their own and also tend to find faults with little children pertaining to their previous upbringing. You seem to be actually worried about his state of mind. Do you have any children on your own? If so, encourage them to mix more with this boy so that he doesn’t feel left out and as a mother you have to be very careful not to be partial. If there are no other children involved, then he has all your attention and you should increase your interactions with him, try to know him better, his likes and dislikes, take him out, make him dependent and trustful of you so that he wont miss his mother so much. All women have mothers inside them and it takes a little effort on our part to bring that emotion out and I believe your caring about him is already a step in that direction. Talking to the other lady wont help much coz I think she is not really very eager to spend more time with him. So sending him over and over to her place and then she dropping him off earlier than expected (maybe forcibly even) is only increasing his trauma. My heart is going out to this little guy, pls hug him on my behalf and best wishes to you all on this.

A poor boy!I think that first of all that is taking care for his weak,hurted heart with your love.certainly tell his feel to his mother at the while.Maybe the same age children could make him happy and activity.Has his mother got any kids,you could take them to play with him and tell them how they ought to love your brother by this chance.that he would feel safe or peace maybe.To have a try on this way if it could move his mother.Best wishes for you.especialy the poor boy.Bless him happy sincerely!

This is a great question magry! Unfortunatley I go through the same thing with my son and trying to get his dad to care more. Its hard to watch and just plain sad. I know it must be tough on both you and your husband but my only suggestion is not to try and replace but just help him get used to life without her. Whenever he's upset about her you guys should just show him how much fun you and your husband are!

I can understand but cant feel.U have to make him understand all the sitution,he has to live with his stepmother,now u dont have leagle right on ur son.U have to change urself,try to make urself busy in ohter work.I know its not an easy task but u have to do it,not for urself but for ur son`s future.

I had a similar situation when I split up with my ex. He said he couldn't take our daughters every weekend because he "worked all week" (so did I) and "had things to get done on the weekends." It ended up that he took the girls every second weekend for awhile and then moved across the country, not seeing them at all. I have full custody, he has visitation but he hasn't seen them since he took them on a lavish trip about 4 years ago. He no longer phones them (it was supposed to be once per week) except for their birthdays and Christmas (although I honest don't believe he called this past Christmas, now that I think about it). They are older now and have settled into their own feelings about the situation but I know they were very hurt when they were younger. I think it's important, as a stepparent, to show the little boy that you love him and that he can count on you to be there for him and care about him and his feelings. Allow him to be mad... children are brutally honest and he needs to be able to work through how he feels. In regards to the mother, I'd discuss the situation with your husband and have HIM deal with his ex-wife. I think that would be more appropriate under the circumstances.

I dont know what to tell you my step son is 9 and his mom is going through this stage where she cares more about her abusive husband heres a discussion about it if you want to know more http://www.mylot.com/nr/mystarted.aspx I would say that yall need to show him as much love as you can to help him heal, b/c there is nothing you can do to make the mom care more so thats when you care more. Its sad to say we have people like this out there that dont care for there children

well i cant say i have been in your kinda situation. but my older brother is erresponseable and he left the state and left two behind for his baby momma to take care of and they never get to see him and they say and do the same things. it might be hard now and you are gonna wanna to work through it, you dont want him to just stop seeing her then you will run into the "its ur fault, i never see her thing". he will relize one day that you care more then she does and it takes time for everything it might be rough now but think how it will be awhile from now, who knows how long it will take.maybe you shouldnt let her see him and then she might start to care more you never know, but you dont want to just take him outta her life that wouldnt be right if she doesnt cause a harm or anything...

wow! i don't agree with your telling that! as you said ,he is so young!that may hurt him! what was worse,he may hate you! because in his first impression,his mom is her mon forever! take care of him.do everything as a good mother!try your best to let him make a good impression on you!and then you may replace his mother's situation in his mind slowly!