Could you give me some help on this PS???
By Tavia007
@Tavia007 (12)
China
4 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
5 Apr 08
What sort of a personal statement, that covers a big area, if i can help you i will but i would need to know a little more...
@Tavia007 (12)
• China
5 Apr 08
PS:
The University of Hongkong is famous for her All-English Teaching, Excellent chance of exchanging and High-Quality Faculties. There are so many good departments in HKU, but Faculty of business and Economics is one of the best, which provides favorable enviroment to educate a financial manager. By all means, HK will be the most important Global Financial Center under the supports of chinese Government in the future. HKU is the best place to study finance.
I am very interested in finance, and there are so many ways for me to in touch with it. Finance is an attracative field, affecting our daily lives in many ways. I wonder weather or not people could affect the course of economy in a way, and what's the relationship between finance and politics? I think the education in HKU could give me an answer.
There should be many idiosyncrasies in financial managers, such as strong-mind, calm, sensitivity,etc. I believe that you could find some of them on me. Actually I am a steady girl, having some hobbies like reading historical books, listening to music, playing koto.
There used to be many hearsays that it's hard life during the study in HKU. But a burden of one's choice is not felt. I'm sure that I could finish the courses on good scores.
1 person likes this
@nancyrowina (3850)
•
6 Apr 08
the only part I can see a big problem with is this line,
"so many ways for me to in touch with it." I'm not sure what you are trying to say but you could either add the word "keep" so it reads.
"There are so many ways to keep in touch with it"
That would make sense if you mean with modern technology and how there are now so many ways to keep track of things, in that case maybe add "with modern technology" at the end of the sentence to make it clearer.
there's a small mistake in this line
"There should be many idiosyncrasies in financial managers, such as strong-mind, calm, sensitivity,etc."
it should read
"There should be many idiosyncrasies in financial managers, such as a strong-mind, calm, sensitivity,etc."
and in this line
"I wonder weather or not people could affect the course of economy in a way"
add the word the so it reads
"I wonder weather or not people could affect the course of the economy in a way"
and this line would sound better if you changed the word "on" to "with"
"I'm sure that I could finish the courses on good scores."
so it reads
"I'm sure that I could finish the courses with good scores."
It does sound very good as it is though, your English is much better than my Chinese.
@nancyrowina (3850)
•
6 Apr 08
I just noticed as well in the line about the economy you have used the wrong spelling of the word "weather" when spelled like that it means the weather as in raining or sunshine outside etc. you need to write "whether" in your piece of writing, English is confusing like that sometimes, words mean different things when spelled in different ways.
@Tavia007 (12)
• China
7 Apr 08
It must have taken you quite a lot of time correcting my PS. Your suggestions are pertinent. Thanks a lot.
You make me smile when i read the last sentence. I think there might be something humorous in your mind.
I misspelt the word "whether". It makes me fell embarrassed. :)
1 person likes this
@sophialin (2677)
• China
6 Jun 08
hi Tavia007,i'd like to help you.please sned the personal stament to me through message.i hope i can help you.
best wishes and enjoy stay here.
