Do you ever wonder what your Ex is up to?
By roxanne271
@roxanne271 (2034)
Trinidad And Tobago
April 5, 2008 9:21pm CST
I never really wonder what my ex-bf is up to but when I think of him all I feel is deep hatred for him. Today, my current boyfriend said he saw him after he dropped me home and was still in the little city.
Now my boyfriend didn't come plain out and say that he saw him, he sorta eased it into the conversation. My current boyfriend doesn't like when I talk about him because I start to sound different, sorta depressed when I think back at how I wasted those days of my life or just on a angry rampage lol.
Anyway, he told me he saw him with another girl and he actually knew the girl, it was one of his neighbours! Well I immediately said to him "You got to warn her about this guy." But he said he isn't gonna meddle.
Now the thing is, I really wanted to ask him about how he looked. If his hair was still the same, was he dressing in the fashion I liked him to dress in, was he looking happy and all that sorta crap and I started to secretly feel really down. But I decided not to ask anything because I am currently more than 100% happy with my boyfriend...so why am I wondering these sorta things?
I feel sorta disgusted at myself for this, considering how much I hate the guy...yet...I'm so curious...
2 people like this
7 responses
@madlees (1377)
• India
6 Apr 08
Dear Roxanne,
This is very very normal, don't worry. Not only with your ex bf with all the persons whether you love or hate.. this curiosity will be there to know how they look, or have they changed etc.
But please do not ask your current Bf. He cannot take it an they will not understand either. I am very sure that he'll not like it. Men are not emotionas ridden like we females are. You want to know more about him as he was very close with you once upon a time even if he was rude to you or behaved wrongly to you. So don't worry. You can see for yourself if you want to. The world is round dear and small. You'll come face to face with him at one place or the other. Now just get it out of your head. All the best
@roxanne271 (2034)
• Trinidad And Tobago
6 Apr 08
Hi madlees,
Thanks for responding and it made me feel so much better. I really thought long and hard as we talked about asking my bf but realized it would not be the best thing as he may feel hurt. I agree the world is small but I don't see him around often because I am almost never in that area anymore. It's very rare and when I'm passing through there I don't usually see him around. Probably because it's only for a few minutes. I find that it really shouldn't matter to me though. I just think about how happy I am now and I'm pondering why such thoughts even hit me.
@madlees (1377)
• India
6 Apr 08
I am very very happy to hear that Roxanne, It would hurt your present relationship. That you wouldn't like, I understood from your post itself that ou are very very happy. Then why bother look into the past. Just get that out of you. It is nice to hear that you are gettting over that and thinking of it like a joke. 
@angepange (123)
• Australia
9 Apr 08
hi there. its funny you know, even though i have moved on and have kids, i still look back on the old days with my exes, i can appreciate what we had and i sometimes even miss them! it freaks me out sometimes. i often wonder if they still think of me....... life is a funny thing and i guess we meet all of these people for a reason or a lesson. as long as we dont know where they are or who their with, sometimes i think the memory is much better and at times even comforting to know that you once loved. how sappy, sorry :-)
@roxanne271 (2034)
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Apr 08
I did learn a really big lesson thanks to this guy and this has changed my life in an interesting way. Everything is finally coming together as I have always wanted now and my mind is now more at ease. I do want to totally forget about this guy though. It aggravates me to think about him!
@subha12 (18441)
• India
7 Apr 08
I think the way you thought is raelly very natural. it will happen to anyone. actually its like that you loved taht person very deeply. now it was his fauklt taht he was not to appreciate it. may be you were happy inside if you cpuld see how he looked.
.
Now your present Bf says so as he looked at him.
.
Now your present Bf says so as he looked at him.@roxanne271 (2034)
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Apr 08
I guess. You see it struck me as surprising because of how much hate I have built up for him. You are right about him not appreciating me and I won't be happy inside if he looked really good to be honest lol.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
6 Apr 08
No, it just aggravates me. My ex-husband is a very self-centered person. He treated our son very poorly and it aggravates me to find out how he is doing. He married someone with tons of money and is living off of her for the most part.
When we were together, he was chronically unemployed but still selfish.
@roxanne271 (2034)
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Apr 08
Wow, I wonder how people like them really do get lucky. But yeah. it aggravates me to think about my ex. I don't know why it popped up like this though. It really surprised me that I actually wanted to know.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Nope not really. I do chat online with his sisters from time to time but that's about it. I don't ask what he is up to because I really don't want to know.
I do keep in contact with another one online through a social networking site - we are good friends and always will be.
@roxanne271 (2034)
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Apr 08
Well I can never be friends with my ex ( i think that was probably obvious in the first post) and I never usually think about him. Only if something comes up that reminds me of him and only cause my bf mentioned him seeing him I guess that is what sparked my curiosity.
Thanks
@Lyndon54 (29)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Your current bf walked right into it. I would have left it alone and not mention seeing your ex-bf. You have a new life and should forget the past and look towards the future.
You should desist from mentioning your past out of respect for your current boyfriend. If he brings up the past then you have all right to pour it out to him.
I would not even go there with givng or warning your ex-bf new girl about him. She is a big girl and will find out one way or another.
Just leave it alone.
@roxanne271 (2034)
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Apr 08
Well I guess he did walk into it but I also have mentioned my ex-bf in the past a few times but have stopped doing that because I realize it's just hurting me, him and "us" even though it isn't visible I bet it hurts deep.
Yea, I guess I don;t want her to get in a situation like I had to go through. Thanks
@roxanne271 (2034)
• Trinidad And Tobago
6 Apr 08
Lucky you. I just got curious since my bf said he saw him. It's been about 3 months since I last saw him. I guess you are right about not wanting to know and about how some things don't change. He seems to be one of those people who won't change...not easily anyway and tries to get his own way through manipulation. Anyway, thanks for the response. It helps me that you mentioned about how some things don't change...makes me feel a bit better actually.
