book bags
check back packs
children
children
invasion of privacy
safety and protection of children
school
school back packs
Do you know what's in your child's back pack?
By coffeebreak
@coffeebreak (17798)
United States
April 5, 2008 10:51pm CST
With all the news stories and things going around of all the bad/wrong/problem things that kids "take" to school in their back packs, I just have to ask - why don't the parents check back packs? I know the whole privacy thing but at the same time, they are a minor and a child and still need parental guidance. Maybe they have something that they dont' realize is a no-no and if the parent doesn't explain to them why it is a no-no, the child will not know and later get in trouble for possessing it. Just recently a child took a gun to school in his back pack, he got it from his uncle and thought it was a toy. Well, still, why did he take it to school? And if the parent had just checked the back pack prior - just stick his lunch box in there or zip it for him, they'd seen the gun and problem could have been stopped before it started.
Back in my day we had lockers at school. Years later they dumped all lockers as kids were mis-using them and hiding htings in them etc. So they took out all the lockers at all schools and the back pack emerged. Well, all that seemed to do was give the kids another place to hide their 'things".
So, what's the solution? Do you check your kids backpacks? Is it an invasion of privacy for you, as the parent to do so? Should your child have issue with you if you check his back pack? IF they do, is it cause they are hiding something? If they are not, why should they care if you check it or not? I'd hope that the child would think you are learning to trust them by letting you check and find nothing. Sometimes I think the "invasion of privacy" is more of a hindrence than it is a protection.
What say you? Check or don't check and why or why not?
4 people like this
14 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
6 Apr 08
My son is 9 so not quite to this point yet. I do check his school bad every evening, but that doesn't mean much. He could easily bring something to school in morning and I would not know about it. For kids in middle or high school, I bet most parents don't even think about checking bags because kids are responsible for their own stuff. Even in 2nd grade my son is held responsible for his own paper work, so even if I don't check his bag for some reason, he has to bring it to me so that I can sign all his paperwork so he doesn't get into trouble. A kid to that had something to hide would probably just bring the paperwork though.
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
6 Apr 08
teach them to be responsible while they are young and once in high school you won't have so many worries. And it isn't the child that is the problem is it what they hear and see - mostly on TV - that is what causes the problem. They see things done on TV and don't see the consequences so they don't know they have to deal with them in real life. But checking paper/homework - good opportunity!
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
6 Apr 08
I feel that you can not monitor your kids 24/7. You can limit what they hear and see on TV. You can teach them to be good kids. A true good kid is going to stay out of trouble. I see more problems with kids when they really have no communication with their parents. That seems to be the key to so many problem in todays society.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I am not a parent so I am looking at it from the kids point of view. If my mom wanted to see what was in my backpack it would tell me that she didn't trust me.I guess if you and your child can form some trust Before middle school. And if you can really talk to your kids while they are teens then you won't need to spy on your kid.But then again , I am only guessing.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
8 Apr 08
If you start at the bottom , you won't have to spy on your kid.
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
7 Apr 08
It all starts from the bottom. You have to be repsonsible for your child until they are 18. If you start teaching them as youngsters, about responsibility, safety, right from wrong, all those kinds of things, once they are in middle school, you will be able to trust them and they will be thankful that you taught them so they don't get in trouble! As youngsters, they might not know that what they are doing is wrong, so as the parent you have to tell them. Tell them why that toy in their back pack is not allowed at school. Teach them about communication with their parent. You aren't spying on your kids, you are just teaching them right from wrong.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
10 Apr 08
It shouldn't be needed, but the way things are it certainly helps.
I don't know, really. I don't check my kids backpack everyday, but I know that I can do it any times I want.
I tend to check my son's more because he is as far from organized as possible and I keep finding old sandwiches and loose papers there:)
I really don't see this as a matter of privacy and kids will only be upset with it if they're hiding something they shouldn't in the first place. Most kids couldn't care less if we open their bags or not.
THis is now, when they 16 and 18 - or will be in less than 2 weeks :) - but when they were younger I was the one getting their lunch inside the bag, so I used to see what was in there every single day. I think most parents do this so there should even be an issue.
I think that when safety comes into the game, privacy should at least accommodate.
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
10 Apr 08
That's right. How will they know right from wrong when they are 16-18 if we don't teach them that when they are 6-8. At that age, they need parents to "take care of them" and teach them what they should should not be doing or having or toting around. I dont think it is a case of invasion of privacy - that is just the political correct term for it these days. It is simple making sure your child is safe and teaching them how to take care of themselves. If you do that at 6-8, when they are 16-18 it won't be necessary!
1 person likes this
@surverymom (471)
• United States
7 Apr 08
This is not a really serious story, but it does make me check my daughter's backpack everyday before she goes to school. In her first day, she was so excited about going that she put my pajamas from the night before including my underwear into her backpack. I did not find them until I picked her up that day in the afternoon. Oh my goodness, I was so embarrassed. She had pulled them out and showed them to the teacher and to the whole class. It was aweful.
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Oh my gosh, you poor thing! How funny! I can only imagen! OF all things to take to school!!!!
@bradhart (659)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I check my sons bag before school to make sure nothing gets in it that shouldn't, like the kitten he tried to take to school when he was six. I also check it when he comes home, because I just don't trust a nine year old to tell me what I need to know.
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Yeah, if they don't know it is wrong, how can they tell you it is! A Kitten - for heaven sake, how funny! Bet he had really good intentions tho! And then to, what if hte teacher sends something home and the kids forget to show you - I am sure that would not be the first thing on their minds once home!
@mandilyn25 (167)
• United States
7 Apr 08
As a parent it is our resonsiblity t protect our children.Now days parents are raped up in there life that they forget they have kids.I have a one year old and you better bet I will go through his bag, room or anything I feel that I need to.My mom looked through my stuff and I hated it.But now I know why she did.Don't get me wrong I wasn't a purfect kid or anything.If she would of know what I had hiding she would have grounded me to my closet for life HAHA.
Maybe if parents were more aware of what there children are into we could not only protect our children but others kids to.Go ahead snoop go through everything if you have to.They will hate you at the time but they will relize one day why you did it!!!
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
10 Apr 08
Protect our kids - exactly! We start it young to teach them not only right from wrong to but teach them how to take care of themselves...being responsible to take back home work or library books or clean up after them selves and not keep cookie crumbs or other food int here they forget about. teach them how to be organized and "on time" kind of things. Moms know what they need and how to give it and they'll thank us for it when they are parents!
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
6 Apr 08
I check everything Coffeebreak, I learned with my middle son that the whole privacy invading thing was inconsequential. I am my children's mother my job is to protect and keep them safe. Every once in a while, I will go through my 13 year old drawers with him and help him clean them out. Same with closet and other things. He helps me that way I am doing 2 things checking and organizing the mess that becomes his bedroom. I know we need to give a certain amount of trust to our kids, but to ignore everything is foolish. I watch listen and look.
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Good for you Angel. i did the same things with my kids. You have to teach them. If you don't, someone else will and therin begins the problem!
@djmarion (4898)
• Philippines
6 Apr 08
we always check what's inside my nephew's backpack, he is only in second grade and so we are the one responsible for its content. i make sure to check all his things before i take him to school. what's inside his backpack are the things he will need in school and nothing more. i don't allow him to put any toy in his bag and i don't give him money since he is bringing his snacks and lunch everyday.
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
6 Apr 08
That's the thing - parents are responsible for what they allow their kids to bring to school. A parent saying "I didn't know he had that" isn't going to make the situation any better or excuse it. And if you don't tell the child he can/can't take that to school and why, he isn't going to learn and therein starts the problems.
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
6 May 08
My kids are still in elementary school so I don't check the back pack often and it's usually for papers. My kids come home and do their home work where I see them empty the contents of thier backpacks on my dining room table and then they through them in the closet for the next day. LOL!! so they never go to their rooms except for the weekends and I know what the kids have up there. LOL!! I am one that makes sure I know what my kids have in their rooms so I know the possibilities of what can be in the back pack nothing dangerous.
@luvstochat (6907)
• United States
7 Apr 08
My daughter is in preschool so I get her backpack ready for the day and I check it for papers when she comes home. My son is in elementary school and I have not checked his backpack he always gives me the stuff that is in it like papers I need to read he has never had anything in it he shouldn't he will start middle school next year though and I will be checking it then to make sure everything is ok.
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
7 Apr 08
That's all it is intended to do - make sure everything is ok. No spying or invasion of privacy...just make sure the kids are safe and sound and all is okay, while teaching them right from wrong. Teach them now and you won't have to worry about the later!
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
6 Apr 08
My daugher is in Kindergarten only but I do check every single day. She hides stuff sometimes she isn't supposed to take to school, like her favorite toys.
I will continue to check as she grows as well. I also check now to keep track of her homework which I will also be checking for as she grows up.
I don't think that checking is a hinderence at all..parents need to be more proactive.
My kids can have privacy when they leave my house...
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Pro-active -that is the word! Teach them now while they can learn, cause later they might not want to and then they'll be in trouble! Nothing wrong with being on top of things. better to find out now, than later!
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
6 Apr 08
I always pack my two youngest boys back packs up as I like to make sure they have everything they need plus I check for sneaked toys too! They do not mind, they would rather I did it anyway. My eldest is 16, he does not mind me going in his either, but his is always manky so sometimes I just have a peep in his to make sure he has no mouldy sandwiches in there!
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Moldy sandwiches - if that isn't a reason to check, I don't know what is!
@lishiwei (1550)
• China
6 Apr 08
I think it can help the children on a good way.But I think you should do it in a good way.As a young teenager,I know that we all don't like others check our things.I think you can teach them but you'd better don't check it.
If you do it in a good way I think they would do it as you have told them.Because they also want to be independent,you should also care of what they think of.
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
6 Apr 08
That's why you start them young and tell them why you are doing it. Then they can understand and have not problem with it. If you don't start until teen years, yeah, you'll have that problem. And if you start them young, when they do want their independence, they'll be educated enough to know how to ge independent intelligently.
@asep168 (2)
• Indonesia
6 Apr 08
hello..coffeebreak..!
may i give some sugesstion...
i have a cousin he's 4 years old now...
he always brings some toys to his school..
but before he bring it he tell to his grandma
so do i , when i'm 10 i bring some toys to my scholl and something else.
it would be my secret, cause i never told what was in my back pack..lol
i think this about habbit,,,you can check it but don't tell anything about u known..to your kids..
just bring his to discussion arrow to the things in back pack.. let him say the truth.. what he bring to school and what is that usefull or not..lol
1 person likes this
