When a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? My son told me off for this!

I don't know what you would tell your son, but there is a difference between a friendly greeting in passing, and actually having a conversation with a stranger. When you speak to someone as you're passing them, its just being polite, the danger comes in when you stop and engage them in conversation. That's when they could tell you lies and try to get you away to where you belong.

It is a double edged sword isn't it. I remember a time when everyone was friendly. You walked down the street and greeted one another with a smile and often stopped to say a few words to one another. Today if you do it people often look at you like you have 2 heads and practically turn and run in the opposite direction. To help our children remain safe we need to train them not to talk to strangers. But, even more than that, do not interact with strangers at all. Does this hinder their social growth by instilling the thought that anybody they don't know can be harmful to them. Everyone we know at one time or another was a stranger to us before we got to know them as friends, family, coworkers and acquaintences. When I was out with the kids and spoke kindly to someone I didn't know, I would tell the children that it is okay to be friendly, but not to get too close to the person. Never tell them personal information, and in the case of children, never get physically close to that stranger. It is okay to be friendly, but understanding the bounderies is important for the sake of safety.

lol if my son would have told me that id said when you get as old as i am you can talk to strangers buddy...lol i mean i guess that if you talk to certain people it could be dangerous but whenever i am in the store or something like that and someone talks to me i will say hey or whatever...and if they stand there and talk i try not to be rude so i stand there and talk to them but i dont give out any kind of perosnal information.... jhl930

Wow smart kid. But like you I can't not say hello back or smile back at someone who says hello or smiles at me because i think that it is rude not to. You could tell your son that you are not starting conversations with them just returning the greeting. There is nothing wrong with smiling at someone who smiles at you or says hello as long as long as you keep walking and not stopping to chat because that is where the danger comes in. Just return the greeting and keep walking don't even stop, you could smile back as someone or even return the hello as you are walking.

Lol. That boy is one heck of a witty toddler. I admire his sharpness because I kind of see myself in him, when I was younger of course. You can always explain that the reason why we tell them it's not good to talk to strangers because as kids, they do not have the necessary defenses yet to protect themselves from those whose intentions are not so nice (you know what I'm saying). They are not that strong to physically defend themselves if the stranger happens to be a bad guy or gal. As for us, the grown ups, we always are given myriads of options to react to bad circumstances. We can always fight back, or preempt by going away or calling 911 if it really is something compromising. But kids are not as quick and strong as we are. So I guess, you have to explain to your witty but very sensible toddler that since they are more weak at this stage, it would be easier for them just to avoid strangers than be in trouble and be helpless in the process.

ya 1st i do smile if a stranger smiles at me.because thats a general tendency.and later i try to recall if i know that person.but if i dont know that person that doesnt make any difference.i wil get through my way.and if i know that person in past then i try to talk to him.but my 1st tendency is i do reply for that strangers smile.

your son is too much smart dear but cute by knowing his question to you. but i also realized that children most of time watch and learn about what we saying and doing infront of them. most of time, they would give many critical question as like what your son did to you. in this case, i think you should explain more the reason why he is not allowed to talk and go with stranger and why you did what you prohibit to your son. i believe if you explained the reason behind your prohibition to your son, he would understand and not "attacking" you like that

I know this feeling I have to be very careful as my son is autistic and will copy the things I do. So if I talk to strangers he will assume he can to.

wow..smart kid! lol, in my case, I always smiles back but don't engage to long conversation to stranger..It scares me always...

I do all the time and never thought anything of it. Your son is right though come to think of it. He is one smart fella!

Wow your son is a pretty smart little kid. But It's kind of rare that I talk to a stranger that I don't know. I mean I would smile like once in a blue moon but then there are times when I don't. It is kind of dangerous to smile at a person that you don't know because you don't know what is going through that person's mind. But there are times that I still do that just to be polite.

OH WOW. I wouldn't have known what to say either. You have a smart kid. lol. Yes I do talk to strangers usually it is just a hello or how are you, just little conversation like that. I also smile back. I was taught it was rude not to smile back or speak back to them. I could see if you were in danger somehow. I guess that would be a hard thing to explain to children.

I think whether I actually say hello or acknowledge that they've spoken to me at all depends on where I am at the time. If I am in a town that I either do not like or am not familiar with I often times just ignore it and walk on. However, if I am in my own town then I will acknowledge it. Also, it depends on my mood for that day.

out of the mouths of babes as my grandma always says.Kids can be to smart for there own good can't they?But he does have a good point.But as adults were rude if we don't smile and say hello back.I am guilty of this thank god my sons only one.SO what are we to do.

I believe the world would be an aweful place if people never spoke to strangers. I'm always friendly to strangers, but I know what is ok to say to them and what is not, and of course I know not to get in the car with them and take candy. I always taught my children that they should be friendly, but to never be close to a stranger when they were alone and not to ever give out personal information or take anything from a stranger. There are major differences in having a friendly conversation and putting one's self in danger.

he he now that is true! you tell him to not talk to strangers and you actually did talk to one... :) he's a smart kid and at least, that you will be assured of he is safe and is not talking to strangers. and i am glad you did not or was not able to justify your actions cause he might actually do the same and try to reason out to you when he did talk to anyone he does not know. :)

Well he really does have a sharp mind doesn't he - way to go! lol I think I would have told him that there is a difference between smiling and saying hello to someone as you pass than talking to strangers! There is no harm in smiling at someone in fact quite often it makes their day and lifts their mood! Next time he doesn't smile as he passes someone tell him off for being rude ! lol xxx

Kids are really smart that way. They pick up on anything contradictory that we tell them. This is one of those things. It is hard to teach your kids to be safe without causing them to be paranoid. There is a huge difference between smiling and greeting someone in a friendly manner while passing by and stopping and engaging in a conversation with a total stranger. It is good that your son is speaking up and questioning. It shows that he is comfortable talking with you and I think that is so important. They do sometimes ask things that are really difficult to answer don't they?

This is difficult for me. Coming from the south where everyone says hello or waves, then moving to New Jersey where you are more likely to get a rude glare than a friendly hello... If someone says hello to me or my husband, we usually say hello back. A smile usually gets a smile and a nod. It is a fine line between being courteous and "talking to strangers." One that we have tried to get through to my middle son. He would tell a person sitting on the bench his whole life story if we let him! My other kids are more weary, but he is so social it scares me! As little kids, when we are in the grocery store line; the cashier usually engages you in conversation. She is a stranger, yet we still speak to her. Though when they try and talk to the kids (this usually happens in the toddler stage) and they hide or don't respond. We don't try and force them to speak. Instead, we politely tell the cashier that we don't encourage the children to speak to strangers. Strangers are a tough subject especially when they are younger. More than anything I want them to know that they shouldn't talk to them when their dad, step-mom, me or my husband (their step-dad) aren't around. As adults we often have to speak to strangers, so we don't think about it as much.

Your child has a good point, but don't children talk to other children there age, who they don't know. So I think the rule of "no talking to strangers" is more for people older than you, until you get into probably your teenage years. Since in everyday life, you have to talk to strangers, going into the post office, going into the supermarket.