Would you date...
By gavsmomjamie
@gavsmomjamie (319)
United States
11 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Honestly, no. I don't want children, I don't like children, I won't be with anyone who has or wants children.
1 person likes this
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Hi Gloomcookie!
Thanks for being honest and I think its great that you know what you want
@maximax8 (31047)
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 08
Yes. A few years after I got divorced I dated a man that has a son is two years younger than my son. He was separated from his wife just six months after his son was born. His wife dated another man soon after this then got pregnant and had a daughter. My ex-boyfriend had his son over to his flat for weekends and it was hard to be a step parent to him. It can be challenging to be accepted with the children of a man that you are dating. His son was 7 years old and he was quite naughty sometimes. We went to an event when he pointed at his dad to have shaving foam put all over his head. I think that my ex-boyfriend was poor with ground rules and didn't give his son any discipline. Teenagers can be harder than young children get to know and to built up to getting on well with them. I was with my ex-boyfriend because I liked him and the fact that he had a son didn't worry me. I would date a man if he had children and not have a problem with this.
1 person likes this
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Hey maximax!
I think its great that you tried with your ex-boyfriends son and also supported your ex as a father. Unfortunatley I know some girls that wouldnt be able to handle having to share their time. You should be proud of yourself ;)
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Of course and I have in the past long before I ever had my own kids actually....Now being a parent myself to NOT date (if I were dating) someone just because they had a kid would be stupid...And actually my husband has a daughter and my bf has a son (but they are both estranged from their kids)
1 person likes this
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
We think alike Raven!
LOL!
I thought it would be stupid to not be willing to try and date someone because of a child esp. since I have a kid! But you would be surprised! A lot of single parents have said that they worked too hard to make a good life for their kid(s) by themself, only to have to work even harder to gain the respect of another child.
@ellie333 (21016)
•
7 Apr 08
I am a single parent myself of three children 21, 17 and a 4 year old so I would consider it yes, however my last relationship was with a man who had full custody of his young son due to his ex-wifes mental health. This came with so many problems and the worst one was that I didn't like his child at all, he was nasty and sly and always horrible to my son. In general I love all children but this child had been picked up and put down by the mum so many times he was a woman hater at the age of three, bless, not his fault but I just couldn't take to him. In the end we just didn't get any time for us and even though still friends are not together, my choice, I didn't think it was fair, I wouldn't want to be a guy who didn't like my child and couldn't understand why this guy wanted to be me still even though he knew how I felt. My kids come first and his should have done too if you get what I mean. I will wait until my little one is older and perhaps date a guy who sees his kids every other weekend rather than fulltime as one who hasn't had children a my age wouldn't understand that my children must come first. So in summary my ideal would be a divorcee with older kids who he sees sometimes. Ellie :D
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Hi ellie!
You sound like a great mom ;)
Im sorry to hear about your last relationship but atleast you gave his son a chance and you didnt ignore him or try to make him feel not wanted. Getting to see you be a loving mom was prob the best thing for that boy.
@etavasi (749)
• Malaysia
7 Apr 08
hi gavsmomjamie, i don't care dating with someone who has a child. This is because i can learn more from them. Sometimes when they have a problem they do not know where he or she can sharing their problem. Then here i also can learn something from them.
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Hi etavasi!
I think its great that you are willing to learn because a lot of people think they know all the answers! You sound like your very sweet and a good friend to the people in your life wether they have kids or not :)
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Haha Gesusdid!
Yes, 8 kids would be a lot to handle!
Thanks for being honest ;)
@Phlamingho (7825)
• Denmark
7 Apr 08
It wouldn't be my perfect date, but yeah it wouldnt be a thing that would scare me away. I'd be willing to give it a shot if I liked the mother.
1 person likes this
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Thats awesome Phlamingho! Alot of guys get scared by kids so glad to hear a guy that would chance it.
@mememama (3076)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Back in the day when I was in the dating world, I did date one man who was previously married and had a child. I didn't get to know the child until we were serious. It was really hard breaking up with him, cause I really got attached to his son. Now I'm married so I don't have to worry about that lol.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I am older and single. If they had grown children no problem...but I have had younger men ask me out that have kids that live with them and I have already raised three by myself so I would have to say I wouldn't want to date someone who had kids living with them....
1 person likes this
@gavsmomjamie (319)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I dont blame you! You raised three by yourself? Wow and congrats! ;)
@thuynhu (661)
• United States
8 Apr 08
It's not exactly about considering, its just if you truly feel a connection with the person or not. I was in a relationship with a guy sometime ago and he had a son. It didn't matter to me, because he was taking care of his son and we just we doing good together. We just had a good bond. His son was too cute as well, but that isn't the point. I mean I wouldn't say no to him if I knew he a son in the beginning, I would still give him a chance, because you could have missed out on a great person if you judge them in the beginning for having a child already and not with the child's mother. I like the guy, so if your in a situation like that give the guy a chance, before you let him out of your life.
1 person likes this
@janujennifer (664)
• Philippines
8 Apr 08
For me it doesn't matter if the man I am dating has a child or none. If my date's child is old enough to understand, I hope it doesn't matter to the child, too, that his father is dating another woman who is not the child's mom.
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