How Do Soulmates Recognise Each Other And Come Together
By Darkwing
@Darkwing (21583)
April 7, 2008 3:36pm CST
I'm very interested in how soulmates recognise each other, and eventually come together as one. I mean, what if one realises that they've found their soulmate, but the other, although they realise there is a spiritual connection between the two of you, doesn't actually feel you are their soulmate. I have a scenario, leading to a hypothetical question.
Here's the scenario...
Let's say, you were born into a religion... you weren't given any choices, just led into the religion, and expected to follow it without question. Then, later in life, you find that this religion isn't giving you the fulfillment you need in life. You begin to search for alternatives, when one day, somebody crosses your path, whom you feel as though you've known forever. You're totally at ease with this person, trust them, hold them in high regard, begin to form a relationship... even fall in love with them. You consider them to be your twin soulmate, and they guide you to your new path. Although they care for you, a lot, they are reluctant to get into a deep relationship with you, because they've been hurt several times before, and their trust in others has dwindled. However, you're both convinced that you and they are spiritually connected, so you keep the relationship on a "close friends" basis, hoping that sooner or later each will come to trust and love the other, unconditionally, and they'll learn that you are not like the others, who let them down. You have great respect for each other as individuals, and enjoy each other's company. Also, you both know that you can confide in one another and "secrets" will go no further. The trust is formed, but there's still something driving a wedge between you as far as being "one" is concerned. After six years, you're still close friends, but there's little personal contact... just e-mails, phone calls and IM messages.
What would you do?
Would you stick by them through thick and thin, hoping that someday, the wedge would be removed and you could be together, putting behind you anything, however large or small that they did to hurt you? Would you carry on in the same old way, listening, caring, helping out when you can, exchanging gifts on Christmas, birthdays and any other times you felt like giving, hoping that somewhere along the path of life, you'll be allowed into their lives as a partner and their soulmate?
Or...
Would you back off, and contact them only once a week, or every two weeks or something, hoping they would realise how much they missed having you around? Move away with the thought in mind that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Even give up on them entirely, unless they came to you, knowing you were spiritually connected, and accepting you as their soulmate?
Or would you deal with it in another way, and if so, how? I'd be very interested to hear how you consider soulmates recognise each other, and come together.
3 people like this
10 responses
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Well, I don't know exactly how to respond. I met a guy about 20 yrs ago, I like him ALOT. He does have commitment issues and I've been in and out of his life because I don't need the grief of seeing him and not being more than just a friend.
I have given up on him, but know if he turned around and asked to marry me I'd do it. At 50+ what's to lose?
He even likes cat tho he's allergic to them.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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8 Apr 08
If he has trouble with commitment, yet turns round and asks you to marry him, then be sure it was meant to be, my friend. You would have to say yes, for sure, if he's all you every wanted.
Brightest Blessings, and thank you for your contribution, my friend.
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
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7 Apr 08
hello darkwing-that is deep topic as i am in that situation and have been for the past ten years-i cannot go into the whole story but we met through a mutual aquaintance of mine and since then we have been soulmates/partners-yes there have been times when i've been hurt and shed tears over certain situations but fortunatly they always have been ironed out-also i do and will stick by him whatever and he does me,we trust each other and though he lives a couple of hours away we keep intouch by sms, phoning each other and see each other once or twice a week-it is hard we both know there is more to us just being soul mates/partners,but he has been hurt badly in a previous marriage and i have too in a couple of past relationships/marriage-truthfully i think that soul-mates just meet in some way or another and that it is destined that it happens-your friend littleowl
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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7 Apr 08
I think you're quite right. I couldn't walk away from mine, and have stayed in touch for a very long time. We both knew we were very deeply spiritually connected. In fact, he said he never doubted that, but he was wary of getting too attached because of the hurt he'd suffered, from others letting him down. We worked it out, and all is well, but although we both knew there was a strong connection, it took time.
Brightest Blessings my dear friend, and thank you for your contribution. x
@littleowl (7157)
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7 Apr 08
thank-you darkwing-i would feel guilty and so bad if i did walk away from mine-its as if we are meant to be however that maybe blessed be littleowl x
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
7 Apr 08
well I really dont know how to answer your question as with my and hubby we just seemd to grow together from day one and then we lived together almost from the start and it just grew and greww till it is now working from beyound for me.
On your part may be make the heart grow fonder by being absent for a tad
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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7 Apr 08
Yes, you answered it in the way I went about it. That method worked out for me, but I just wondered what people's reactions would be to this. You were lucky with your soulmate... you both recognised that you were meant to be from the beginning. Mine took a little time, but we got there in the end. It was all a matter of building on his trust for me.. all the rest was well in place beforehand. So, this was put as a hypothetical question, to see how others would deal with the same situation.
Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution my friend. xxx
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 Apr 08
I would give up. I would realise that my long term expectations were not being met and probably never would be. So it would be time for me to move on and shift the focus back to me and get on with my life...wether or not I would search for my 'other half' I would decide over time. Life would be lonely. The way I see it is that we give and give without expecting anything in return except to be respected and treated well. If our needs are not being met and what we give out is not returned then we are soon empty and we are no good to anyone then...not ourselves or those we are trying to love.
The relationship you describe is basically one of rejection on the part of the other person. It's hard to accept that and with a big heart you will push the negativity aside and try harder, but your well of love is empty and your happinessa and self esteem are falling apart now too.
I've never met my soulmate so I don't know about that.
@Darkwing (21583)
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13 Apr 08
A very logical answer if I might say so, my dear friend. I guess we all differ a little in our ways; the difference being, in my case that I knew he cared much more than he showed. All I really had to do was demonstrate my trustworthiness and loyalty, and stick by him, in everything, and it worked. We're closer now than we've ever been. No secrets, and a lot more trust and respect. It worked for me, but it possibly won't work for everybody, because people's personalities differ so much.
Brightest Blessings, my dear friend, in the hope that someday, your soulmate will just show up when you least expect it. xx
@nagkho (25)
• India
8 Apr 08
you seems to have fallen into a 'love him' 'love him not' cycle according to your article.
yes soul mates can be found sometimes in mystery, but it does not mean that everytime someone listens to you, makes you smile etc, etc....he/she is your potential soul mate.
It takes more than the ordinary ooh! to be someone's soul mate and it takes lots of ooh! ooh! to live with your soul mate.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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8 Apr 08
This really was just a hypothetic question my friend, to see how others would deal with that situation.
I've found my soulmate, and I don't have a problem with it. We've grown together and are realising more and more each day that we were destined to be together.
However, thank you for your contribution, and Brightest Blessings.
@tessah (6617)
• United States
7 Apr 08
i continually told my ex that i wasnt in love with him. he refused to beleive it, thinking i was just simply "damaged" by past, and would in time come to feel for him as he did me. he beleived we were soulmates. he was wrong. in his refusals to listen to me because of what he wanted, he got hurt very badly. when two are truly meant to be together.. they BOTH know it/feel it/ are aware of it, and no amount of time will change that. so i advise you leave it be, and save yourself a world of hurt.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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7 Apr 08
It was a hypothetical question really, because I've already met my soulmate, and we're fine. I just wondered what others thought about it, as we did go through a period of both knowing we were meant to be together but with a fear of his being let down... yet again. I proved him wrong, and all is ok between us, but I was curious as to how other people have gone about the situation.
Thank you for your contribution, and Brightest Blessings in the hope that you have, or will find your twin soulmate.
@tessah (6617)
• United States
7 Apr 08
have nine years ago. and while he remembered me when we first spoke (we met online) it took me meeting him face to face to rememeber, and it was like lightning striking. something about remembering living, loving, raising a family together and dying.. repeatedly.. takes away the is he "the one" ?? without doubts
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
8 Apr 08
i think its quite tricky.
the idea action would be, to break the tradition and go for the person that seems so much perfect. But also its should be considered whether the feelings are ok or not. it should not hurt if you are already into other relationship.
@Darkwing (21583)
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8 Apr 08
As it happened, it all turned out ok, my friend. I just wanted to know what other people thought would be the best action to take.
If I had walked away, and sought another relationship, it wouldn't have worked, because I knew he was my destiny.
Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution.
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
8 Apr 08
Tha man I am with now is my soul mate. The reason I know this is because we get along perfectly in every way shape and form. We also think alike. his birthday is close to mine and he has relatives with the same last name as me. Mine is by marriage (when I was married) so I am not related lol. I guess if I knew someone was my soul mate and they didnt I might persue it until they gave up on me. I think everyone has more than one soul mate. To me a soul mate is someone you have a special bond with. Someone you feel good with and know you and that person belong together.
@Darkwing (21583)
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9 Apr 08
I guess the surname was a sign to you my friend. I agree, we all have more than one soulmate, but we only have one "twin soulmate", and that is the one. I also think that your soulmate isn't here every time you are. They may be reborn in a different era to you. So, he's not always there. But, I'm convinced mine is, this time around.
Brightest Blessings my friend and thank you for your contribution.
@myanime (434)
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8 Apr 08
Maybe I will just let go. If he really is my soulmate then we will meet and we will have a relationship without any effort at all. I believe that soulmate is the one that is destined for you and no matter how you avoid each other in the end the you will be together.
@jewilim (495)
• Philippines
8 Apr 08
I guess if you would ask me, if i found my special someone, i would never let her go unless i know that she won't be happy with me anymore.
I'm willing to sacrifice so much just not to be away from her, maybe because i know that i'll never find anyone like her again if i lose her. So i'd just better hold to her until forever. It would already be enough for me just to see her happy even if it means i have to sacrifice my happines for her. :)
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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8 Apr 08
That's understandable of course, but what if she didn't have the same feelings about you. What would you do about it... would you walk away, hoping that she'd come back, and if not, move on in the knowledge that you would eventually find your soulmate?
Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution.