Should i forgive or refuse her?
By catsender
@catsender (67)
China
April 8, 2008 9:33am CST
I have a roommate, and i think we get along very well. I think we are good friends.Till this evening, i have my doubt.
This evening i picked her up at school gate.She was outside this afternoon.After this i had supper.Than I went to library.Everything is OK.
But three hours later,it rained and became heavier.I have no umbrella,so i was troubled in the library.I asked her to bring my umbrella and i thought that of course she would happy to help me because we were friends.But she said 'It rained heavy.Do you recognize somebody there?You can go with them.'
I felt so sad.The probability to meet somebody i recognize is so little.I know a few classmates in the school and who i know are always in the dormitory.I think she should get here right now.If i was her,i will be pleased to help my friends.I doubt whether she is my real friend.I doubt whether she will help me if i encounter some real difficulties.
What should i do?Foget it,maybe she is just too lazy?Or keep the thought in my mind:she is not my real friend and i should not input too much emotion to her.
Do you think i was so blinkered and difficlut to get along with?
4 people like this
26 responses
@paulsy (1263)
• Philippines
8 Apr 08
I think maybe you should give her a chance. Maybe it was raining too hard for her to go out at that particular time you asked her to come. Imagine how hard it would be to walk outside when the rains are heavy. Sometimes the wind could even blow your umbrella. Maybe if you waited a few minutes till the rain calmed down a bit, she might have come for you. Maybe you could give her that second chance to think if she could really be a real friend to you.
3 people like this
@completist (54)
• China
8 Apr 08
Please forgive her . I believe she is your real friend . Just remember if you want to make real friends with somebody , don`t suspect him or her !
2 people like this
@completist (54)
• China
12 Apr 08
From the discussion you have started . I can judge you are a sensitive girl who attaches importance to friendship . I wish you can get real friendship !
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
8 Apr 08
I think that you should forgive her for that. I mean you should be understanding too. If it was really raining hard, then she has a valid reason. I don't think that you would sacrifice your friendship just because of an umbrella.
2 people like this
@bharatupadhyay (92)
•
8 Apr 08
i think u should handle this with a cool mind.......dont make hasty decisions. u should probably give her a chance coz u both have been doin well for a gud time and just for this incident u cant forget all the good times u spent with her.....u should forgive her and give her one more chance..u cant judge a person from one incident or one day..........so i suggest u to stay calm and with a cool mind take any decision......hope everything goes well for u and ur partner......
1 person likes this
@anshulsood (312)
• India
8 Apr 08
i think u shud give her one more chance...
itz not a very big issue due to which u will refuse her..
if u think she's ur frnd u just tell her the whole thing that u didnt liked wat she did .
the matter will be over n she will never do the same again if she's ur true frnd..
she could hav done this unwillingly..
she could hav taken it as a normal thing...
so just take a chill pill...
dont make it a big issue...
@drahcir_29 (30)
• Philippines
9 Apr 08
I think a single mistake is not a measurement of your friendship. We cannot please everybody even our closest friends. I think you must forgive her and give her a second chance to prove up to what extent your friendship is. Anyway as you say you were just a "roommate" and you just get along with each other. But that doesn't mean that you can please her.
If destiny arrives, and similar situation happens to her... don't hesitate to help her... Then she'll realize that what she did what not right as a friend.
@drahcir_29 (30)
• Philippines
9 Apr 08
I think a single mistake is not a measurement of your friendship. We cannot please everybody even our closest friends. I think you must forgive her and giver her a second chance to prove up to what extent your friendship is. Anyway as you say you were just a "roommate" and you just get along with each other. But that doesnt mean that you can please her.
If destiny arrives, and the similar situation happens to her... dont hesitate to help her.. Then she'll realize that what she did was not right as a friend.
@jeaniezheng (229)
• China
10 Apr 08
I don't think that is a big thing.I think you should forgive her.Maybe it is really raining heavily.Or maybe she is not in good mood.You put more emotion to her and I think you are not understand her.Suggest that not put more attention to someone.For more put,if less input then you will be sad.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
8 Apr 08
I would imagine that she was a bit lazy and did not wish to get soaked herself. However, the fact that it seems she has rudely told you no and has even went so far as to ask if you've got any friends in the library may be indicative of someone who just doesn't care.
Dormitories can be a place to make good friends, especially if the person is your dorm mate, however this is not always the case. Has she refused your askance of help in the past? If so then I would not call her such a good friend. Some people are just not willing to become friends with someone in college, and to that I am not certain why.
Do not fret on the subject so much, though, and be more cautious when giving her any lifts to and fro, as well as any other offerance she may implore you of.
1 person likes this
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
9 Apr 08
Nuh.. is it worthy to lose a friend over a small thing like an umbrella.. you could have just chosen to walk in the rain.. heck do u get rains everyday cos I would give my arm to get wet in the rain..
I repeat again its not worthy to lose a friend over a small matter like that... If you keep doing that, looking back in ur life you wont have much friends to fall back on in ur times of troubles.. just forgive her and forget it and move along..
bourne
@zuyoji (82)
• Singapore
11 Apr 08
I think you should forgive and give her a 2nd chance.
The reason is, not everyone is perfect.
Although you said that you will go and help her if she ask but when the situation comes and you are busy in your own work, will you do what you have stated?
Sometimes, you will rather do your work 1st then think about others. Sometimes, i emphasize.
Maybe she is doing her important things and is raining. You called and tell her to come and help her.
With that heavy rain, with her own important things still on her hand. Although she said ask for someone help but maybe when the rain has ease down a little, she might worried about you and call you how are you doing or question relating to this issue.
However, my main point is that you should give her a sec chances as no one in this world is perfect.
I am also not a perfect person but i try my very best to keep up.
Is better to have friends than foes. So always forgive and forget. Sometimes it may turn out to be something good that you didn expect.
@starsapart (35)
•
9 Apr 08
Although it wasn't nice of her, I do think you should forget about it. You have to see it from her side too!
@sincere4frdship (2228)
• India
9 Apr 08
well,
I am also thinking you should give her one more chance , but rest up to you ...becuase if I'll get situation like it in my life then I wont discuss here ....
you know your friend well and you should decide it ...without any discussion man .....
thanks !!!
@teison2 (5921)
• Norway
9 Apr 08
I think you are reading too much into this. Maybe she did not realize how important things like that is to you? Maybe to her it is no big deal to walk home in the rain? I do not think that this in any way predicts how she wil act when there is a more serious matter at hand. I would not disown her if I was you. I would definitely give her more chances, and see how she is when you really really need her friendship.
Hope it works out well
@mindofdude (69)
•
9 Apr 08
A huge possiblity is that she was doing somehting important at the time you called and tried to give you another option rather than her comming all the way down to where you were with your umbrella.
I reckon your forgive her time being, but its worth asking for another favour sometime again and see if she refuses. If it happens a second time when you really need help, then i would question it. A real friend would help a friend in need,
don't get me wrong though if it wasnt an emergency and i was doing something important, i wouldnt make my way down to somewhere with an umbrella just for my roomate.
depends what i was doing at the time though.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
9 Apr 08
i dont think she is a real friend. just an acquaintance that you live with or a roommate. she is probably a lonely roommate with no friends. she is just pretending you are her friends so she doesnt become too lonely.
i think, just forgive her and move on. find better people to hang out with. she is just a roommate and acquaintance. keep it that way. keep it professional and amiable. stay friendly with each other and respect each others' space but live your own lives with others that are more compatible to you and her.
@pradnyanavin (6)
• India
9 Apr 08
Hi,
See what I think is just modify your thinking bit. In this life you will come across to many circumstances where you will just have to forget everything happened with you. If you wish you can help others(friends) but don't ever expect anything from anyone bcoz ultimately you will find no one is there to help you. So better do whatever you wish and Don't Expect!!!!!
