What to do when a friend treats and you cannot afford to treat?

if she is really your friend then she will understand when you tell her the truth. I have a friend like that and I have to tell her sometimes that I cant afford something. I even go as far as to tell her that I dont want to hang out with her that day because I dont have money and I dont want her to pay for anything for me.

Maybe you don't have enough money now, you'll treat your friends in the future. Sometimes I'm very shame with myself because I didn't have enough money to treat my friends. So I decide I'll treat my friend in other occasion.

fix lunch and have her over!

Between friends financial problem does not matter as you both know each other very well and so she knows your status. What matters most is being there when she needs you, if u don't have money just give your precious time which money cannot buy. If i were in your place i will tell her frankly the situation that you are facing at the moment. She will not only understand but your bond becomes stronger when you does not hide anything and leaving your life an open book for her to read. So, its not a big problem tell her frankly what you are going through after all thats what friends are for. Good luck

Just tell her the truth im sure she will understand. Does your friend ask for payback what she did for you?I dont think so. Probabbly, she loves to be with you with out thinking of expenses she paid.Just wait the right time then you can treat her back.

I would speak to her about your paycheck and unexpected bills, and say that maybe you could cook her a meal instead? I'm sure she'll be happy to see you and spend some time with you. If she is a real friend then she will understand. It seems that she may not have thought about whether you can afford her lifestyle. If I was you I'd casually mention it when you are chatting that you would love to have more treats but unfortunately your bank balance doesn't allow it. My friends and I love to spend time together and all of us are on very different incomes. What we do is meet up every month- sometimes at each others houses and order a takeaway, or go to a inexpensive place to eat like a Noodle Bar. Then we go to nice places to eat when there is a special occasion. Don't be afraid to speak up if you feel you can't afford things, you should be able to be honest and open with your friends!

the best thing to do is tell her directly about your apologize, perhaps that you can't treat her back in recent time due to your financial problem. i know its little bit uncomfortable for you to say to her but i think its the best way to do if not, you should be lie to her for many times in order to cover your financial problem. i believe that she can be understand with your reason and won't take treat back as such kind big deal for her remembering that you're her good friend

I often have this problem because I don't work full time and have less money as a result. I usually just tell people that I just can't afford to go out and maybe suggest some free alternatives. If she balks at that and stops being your friend, then you know she really wasn't a good friend. All of my friends and family are very understanding about my financial circumstances and have never pressured me to spending money when I can't.

I think you should get out of this cycle and the sooner the better for you. I can relate to your situation completely. Around 10 yrs back, I was just married, without kid, working and life seemed rose all around me. now there were some girls in my office, all good but all in senior positions to me and naturally their paycheck was much heftier than mine. Now they used to hang around together and in all good spirit, included me in their group. We used to go shopping, movies, lunch, new dresses every month and so on. Now it so happened, that gradually I started borrowing from my hubby. One day, he made me sit and very calmly told me to part company with these ladies. I was furious, felt humiliated and sulked for months on end but now I see the truth of his advice. We all have different priorities in life and from your post, I feel that your are the same as mine. We both want solid foundations in life and not fleeting moments of pleasure and for that we will have to cut on these moments coz the bitter truth is that we cant afford them (whatever be the reason). Start avoiding her like I did (it was very difficult for me as I was in the same office and they used to pester me a lot initially. And then when they stopped asking me, I sulked further at the injustice of it all). Make any sort of excuses you can (I even cited stomach problem to avoid a lunch). See you cant expect her to pay for you just because she has more money. Apart from being unfair, it would hurt your self-respect too. So take her to lunch one last time and then start thinking of excuses (you can ask me for some). Gradually she will understand and you will hurt for some time but in the long run, it would benefit you. She is not bad but both of you are not in the same league and that’s not anybody’s fault either but the reality.

be honest with her. let her know you can't go out to eat right now because you are short on money. being honest is always the only way to go. she will understand.

One of two things....I would either postpone it until after my next paycheck or come right out and tell her. I have friends in the same situation as you and if they just told me it wouldn't be a problem. If you are friends she will understand.

Friendship is not about who can treat and who will treat or who can afford to treat. As long as you are real to your friend, you are sincere and you are unique, definitely, you don't need money to be a good friend. Happy friendship week. Keep posting, Mickey

Just tell ur friend the truth. She will surely understand . Tell her that you unexpectedly got some more bills to worry about, so would treat her later. And work hard to get a better paycheck next time and return her treat. do not think that you cannot hang out with friend who earn more money. If they had a problem with you hanging around with them, they would have made it clear, directly or indirectly. I have friends who get more PM than me. But they are never against me joining them whenever we go out. Although we go Dutch, I usually am able to pay for y expenses. bourne

If you explain that you don't have that much money at the moment I am sure she will udnerstand. If she doesn't, it's obvious that money is far too important to her - possibly more so than your friendship? Something to think about!

Well i think it is ok for true friend to treat you once or twice yea , you can pay back them by doing something that take your effort and true friend will feel your effort yea

Tell her straight up that sorry my friend, I can't afford to take you out this week. Infact I really can't afford to dine out as often as we do as I have a few bills to take care of. I'm sure she will understand if she was really a true friend.

Well friends are the ones who understand and reciprocate in the way you like it to be. So i guess there is nothing wrong when we cannot afford to treat a friend they can understand the situation and adjust to that. But still we feel bad that we are not able to give a treat to a friend who often treats u. In your case i understand your situation and u might be going through a rough patch , but being your good friend she can understand your situation and she can wait for few more days for the treat. As well as you can just manage the treat to be less expensive so that you don't need to spend too much funds or can just reduce your initial planned budjet and still can manage to give her a good treat.

Bake some cookies? bring in a casserole? Explain to your friend you're kinda broke right now and can't afford anything till... whenever you CAN afford it... If she's a good firend she'll understand. It doesn't sound like you're making a habit of it.

whiteheron If she is a realfriend I would be really honest with her and tell her that you have had a lot of bills that just had to be paid so either the treat will just have to wait or if she really wants your company she will have to pay your way or wait. take her choice. I think she is so secure in her financial picture she is forgetting others are not as well off as she is plus most of us are renters and she forgets about monthly rent payments.Hey how about just going dutch so that neither of you feels that she owes the other a darned thing and if you cannot afford that tell her she will have to wait until you can afford to go dutch. hope I helped a little.

If she's a true friend, she's going to know that you can't afford to return the favor, and she won't mind one bit. Be honest with her, a real friend is not going to have a problem with it. When you can afford to, do it, but dont put yourself in a bad position to do so. Cherish your friendship, and find others was to express how much you care for her, maybe just a walk in the park talking will be more than enough for her