You never intended to hurt but someone was hurt, how will you apologize?

Hi jeanniemay! Oh dear! I did read the link you posted so I can understand better somehow your predicament. Oh gosh! I have been victims of friends who used and betrayed you twice and that really hurt just as much. I really got burned in trusting too much. The last one really hit me big time. I really am bankrupt so to speak but this friend of mine really tried hard to earn my trust and I did. She left me with a loan that I am still paying until this time. She has avoided all my calls and spread nasty rumors about me. So, I told her through text messaging that I am going to the authorities and I am asking her to bring her own witness as I will bring my own so that we will reach a settlement. She texted me and told me that she will pay the amount she loaned and well, she complied and paid a part of the loan and she told me that she can't pay anymore and asked for my consideration. My husband told me to just agree but I still didn't got the apologies I asked of her for spreading lies about me. She denied she did ever say those things. I just pray to god that in time I will be vindicated from all this and I hope and pray that you will be vindicated as well. I pray for all those people who used us and hope that they will find the error in their ways. Lastly my friend, in my own view, your letter to the team exposing your so called friend is not an irresponsible act. I feel that it was your last resort to get her attention that you are not just someone whom she can just dismissed just like that. the coach may be too harsh on you although he has a point of not wanting to be dragged down on the issue. However, he could have sit both of you down and he could have been a mediator so as to reach a settlement. he could acted as a true leader who has concerns on the welfare of his team. I am no expert so pardon me if i have ruffled some feathers about my opinion. Just my thoughts my friend! Take care always and have a nice day! :)

What you did was returna punch which is of course stronger than what you receive. Maybe I'm wrong. They said that when we are angry we are temporarily insane. So we may blow our top but after the anger has subsided we regret saying things. I suddenly remembered one proverb which says that when you are angry think 10 times before you utter the words or before you write them down. Anyway, I have perused all discussions you made from the very start regarding this matter. What your friend did was uncalled for. Although you too made a mistake as a result of your anger but I cannot blame you for dragging the whole team into your personal problem with your friend. However, mistakes are a good opportunity to learn our lesson from. The next time you go into a similar situation you already know how to do it better. You may apologize with the team but keep your dignity intact. Explain that you did it hoping that they could help you but it was a mistake. You may also say that you will try to resolve the matter between you and your friend. But don't be too sheepish as to make it appear that it was all your fault from the start. Remember to keep your dignity.

the best way of doing it is to contact the coach privately and ask for his advise,

I think I would just let this go and take her to court. Don't feel too bad. You may have made a mistake involving the team but I don't think you offended anybody but her and she needs to be offended. That is a lot of money to loan someone. I would not do that.

just sayn sorry and try to make up for what you have done.a sincere asking for forgiveness will touch hearts

i guess sending them an apology through yahoo groups was ok but if it was me, i would definitely talk to them one by one and face to face so that they know that i'm sincere and would love to see if they accept my apology with what i've done unintentionally

No more letters. If they want to be offended that is on them. Just take her to small claims court and make her pay it.

This is a pretty tough situation you have gotten yourself into, my friend. Tread carefully, because if the girl who owes money to you finds out about these letters, she could well have grounds on which to sue you for defamation of character or something. Ok, what I would do is write to the coach, only and apologise, asking to withdraw the remarks you made about this girl. Tell her that you are deeply sorry for burdening them, and her with something that is really your responsibility, and a private transaction between the two of you, but that you were desperately worried at the time. Now, you have things sorted out with this girl, and have no bad things to say about her. Then, it's up to them whether they accept your apology. You can do no more in that area. After you've done that, I would list all the times you've called and messaged the borrower, and go to seek legal advice on your next step. Give them all the information you possibly can, including any agreements to repayment, dates, calls, everything. I'm sure something can be done to recover your money without spreading gossip. I think you're truly sorry that you did this, and that the others should forgive you, if you word your letter to the coach right. Don't delay it... do it right now, before it gets way out of hand. I hope this helps. Brightest Blessings in the hope that you get repayment soon, my friend.

I never intend to hurt anyone but it does happen on occasion. I will just go to the person and apologise to them. I have no problem doing that. I may call them on the phone and tell them that I am sorry also.

Wow 55 people? I had not realised you sent it to that many people. Umm I would probably send an apology letter to the coach and maybe she can relay it to the rest of the team. Keep it short and simple and don't put too much into it other than you are sorry for what you did.

I also have that kind of situation.It's so comman that I think everyone can understand it .You just need to send them a email to apology them.I think thiat is enough.

I don't see why an apology letter would be insufficient. And I don't see why it would not be enough to express how sorry you are. Still, I don't see why I shouldn't forgive you for admitting a fault you truly feel bad about, if I were among the 55 people whom you claim to have offended. Take courage dear. You've got nothing to lose actually. You intended what's best for the group, and now that it turned out not as you wished it to be, I think it's time to move one by starting with an attempt to mend things again through an apology letter. My suppport.

Very good the theme of their discussion!!! xDD