Should I find my birth parents?
By monsterman
@monsterman (20)
United States
April 10, 2008 7:50am CST
I saw a post here on mylot about weather adopted children should find their parents or vice versa.
I have some pretty strong feelings about that and I'm sure a lot of you do too.
I was adopted 30 years ago from an agency in Tx called the Edna Gladney foundation. Texas and the gladney center's rules say that there must be a mutual consent to find each other. Basically that means the adopted child needs to be 18, and both the child and parents need to submit a form saying they want to meet the other. That allows both sides to want to meet each other.
What do you think of that?
I submitted the request form, but neither of my birth parents did, so technically I am not supposed to seek them out.
Fortunately for me I have fantastic parents who adopted me and loved me so I wasn't hurt badly by not finding my birthparents, just a little disappointed.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@wild_flow_r (304)
• Philippines
10 Apr 08
you are very blessed to have a loving adoptive parents. i have a biological father and all he did was ruin my life. he was very irresponsible and i never felt that he really want me as a child or cared for us. so, you should always think that you have the best parents in the world.
yes, you should find ways to find your biological parents so that you could have closure to that issue. there are so many tv programs which could help you find your bio parents or try the internet but you should never blame them for giving you up because they have reasons for that. maybe God intended you to have the family or situation that you are in now so that you could also reach out to those who have experienced what you went through. or reach out and help those who do not have a family.
@monsterman (20)
• United States
10 Apr 08
Thankyou. I do feel blessed. I wouldn't give up my adoptive parents for anything.
@jbrowsin66 (1321)
• United States
10 Apr 08
I think once an adoptee turns 18, the records should be opened. Biological parents owe a child an explanation of what situation they were in and why they chose adoption. There is always that big question mark in their lives otherwise.
1 person likes this
@monsterman (20)
• United States
10 Apr 08
You know, I do partly agree with you. But you never know what kind of situation the parents are in. Maybe open records with some sort of deiscrete look into the current situation first.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
10 Apr 08
I feel for you monsterman, but you're still very lucky to have a very supportive and loving parents who treated you like your own! Maybe, its not yet time for you to meet your real parents who knows, they are planning to do so and just for some reason didn't do it yet! I would like to quote the saying "when there is life, there is hope" and thats basically true, don't lose hope and also don't expect too much!As I have said, we have to consider different factors why they didn't appear until this time!
1 person likes this
@monsterman (20)
• United States
10 Apr 08
Very enlightened comment. I do feel hope all the time. I am secure with the belief that I can meet them or not, and still be at peace. I can't ever feel ill will towards them, because they made the greatest sacrifice and gave me life and I would up in a place I wouldn't have traded for anything.
@briggitta (47)
• China
10 Apr 08
i think if there is chance,you may consider give them a chance to know you, and give yourself a chance to know them.this is human nature. maybe they had some unspeakable reason that they had abandoned you, i think they must be very regrettful now!although it easy to say than to do, but remember: to err is human, to forgive is devine.
1 person likes this
@monsterman (20)
• United States
10 Apr 08
I see what you are getting at, but there was no abandonment, or error. They did the exact thing they were supposed to. They behaved courageously. There were other things they could have done that may have lead to me not being here.
I would love to meet them some day if just to say thankyou. Whatever their reasons, I think they did it all right.
