how come some people are insensitive?

i kinda understand your situation yuu-chan. my mother is also always helping our less fortunate relatives but at times that my mother would tell them to change, exert more effort and avoid being lazy, they would easily feel bad, act too proud and get angry at my mother. they are so "balat-sibuyas" (onion skin). i couldn't blame my mother for telling them things like that because i would like to tell them those things too. and it just annoys me because they would easily forget the things that my mother did and doing for them. they don't have a sense of feeling grateful. not to mention the fact that when they borrow money, they wouldn't pay and even if they pay, they would only pay a part of it. they behave as if it is my mother's duty to help them since we are more fortunate than them. well, my mother is doing that duty but they should do their duty too right? being poor doesn't mean they can just wait for whatever will be given to them, its not an excuse to be lazy. .

thats the most worst situation to be in up first. These things need to be realized on their own. Even we say, its no guarantee they take it in right manner. We should only try to explain the things rather than forcing the issue. that way it may work out a bit.

I wonder if there is a way to set the money up that it only pays to the school?

Well first your mom brought you up right so good job to your mom. Also it was very nice of her to pay for your cousins college. If you look at it that her mom is made at you I think why doesn't her mom give her the money then? I don't think she ever taught your cousin how to behave and that is where the problem is. There are no easy answers to this only know that you are right in the fact that she should help out and not be demanding and not spend the money that is to go to paying for her college. Just remember you are the better person and hopefully she will learn from you.

I guess there just some people who are self-centered. I find that character with a friend of mine. I seem to tolerate his selfish ways but, I guess its due to his experience during grade school as well as in high school. He seems to be more recognized in college now which grants that difference. Among us friends here in our home town, he seems to be insensitive.. maybe that's the same with your cousin.. different at home as well as to those in college... just maybe..

O_O They have NO RIGHT to be mad at you! Isn't that rude from their side to behave like this? _ You are the one who are actually giving money to them =_=;