Falling out of love

I think if you truly love someone and they are who you are meant to be with, you wouldn't have these thoughts. I have had thoughts like this for people in the past, and we ended up breaking up soon after. I can honestly say I have never questioned my feelings for my husband. One reason it's so hard to picture yourself without him is because you've been with him so long. Plus, you are young. I am not trying to say you are too young to know what love is, but sometimes teens think they know, but as they get older, they realize they were wrong. It happened to me. I dated my high school sweetheart for over 2 years, and did as you are doing now: I questioned. It took going off to college to realize that there was more out there, and that I was so unhappy in my relationship with him. People change as they get older, and past feelings may change as well...

I don't think there is falling out of love... (at least not for me) The thing that I find difficult to cope with is when a relationship first starts some people put on a fake personality just to impress their partner... but this cannot last for long, eventually the real person is revealed. and that is when they get bored of each other...

Hi captainmorgan, Whether you've "fallen out of love" with someone really presupposes that you had already "fallen in love" with that person. The idea of "falling in love" is in itself a rather quaint allegoric device, akin to "falling in a hole" or "falling in a bucket". Which suggests, among other things, that love is a binary condition, either there or not there. If that were true, then one might be able to make a "love detector" in the same way as a metal detector. Just turn on the "love detector" to see if you're still stuck in that hole you've fallen into. Though I'd presume that one needs to climb "out of love" rather than "fall out of love", if one had "fallen in love" in the first place. Here's my two bob's worth - whether or not you "love" someone is incidental to the practicalities of life. It's not an objective to be pursued or achieved, and if you believe that it is, then it's not "love" but just a desire to satisfy your own expectations (or what you think other people expect of you). Nor is the sort of "love" that you are talking about an end in itself, although the cultural propaganda on the subject might say so. These things have a purpose beyond the rosy image of being in a state of "love". Love is a symptom of life, not the purpose, so pondering whether one is still "in love" or has somehow "fallen" out of it is a rather abstract and pointless past-time IMO. There are many much more important issues to attend to than the current state of emotional linkages between school friends.

Oh, you have a long life ahead of you. You will probably grow very tired of him if you are still with him in about 10 years.

I think it is possible to fall out of love with someone, feelings change over the years, especially if our lives are going through a lot of changes and sometimes although we still remain fond of a person the feelings that we once held for that person are no longer the same. Being attached to a person is not the same as loving, basically we become used to that person being in our lives constantly, to imagine a life without that person can be a lonely thought and it stops many people leaving someone and attempting to make a new life for themselves on their own. I do know from experience of my own feelings that when you have been in a relationship for a long time you do go through stages when you think and feel that you may no longer love someone, I have gone through stages over the course of my 9 year relationship where I have questioned my love for him, and felt that maybe I was falling out of love with him, but after allowing myself time to think about it I realised that I did still love him but that we just needed to inject a little more excitement into the relationship just to rekindle it again, and remember all the things that attracted me to him in the first place. Give it time, if you did not love him for definate you would know, you would just wake up one day and know, but if you are not really sure then you could just be stuck in a bit of a rut and just need a bit of excitement in your life with him.

I believe it is possible to fall out of love I mean I'm 31 and I've experienced it twice already. Well one of them I still love but more like family and a friend, the other and I do not even speak. I was with both for 7 years and each time it felt like this was it the one I'd be with forever. As we grow older we either change or become set in our ways, so it is very easy to be with someone and realize you have little or nothing in common anymore. Guys are funny though and we never seem to know what we have till we lose it and it's very easy to put trivial things over our girlfriends. That doesn't make it right! But it could be that or maybe he feels like you have nothing in common either, I would talk to him about that. It's very easy to become infatuated with someone or even obsessed, I would remind you that life goes on and you surely can live without him. my first "real" relation ship i started at 15 turning 16 and was with her for 7 years so I can relate with being young and in love in a a long term relationship. It's perfectly normal to question your love, that in and of itself will not make you fall out of love. I do think from what you said you have some soul searching to do, but also as important I think you need to have some good discussions with your boyfriend. I hope you get the answers you need I don't know if what I said helpful or not I tried :P Good luck to you.

I can very much relate to what you are saying in here sister... i mean i have gone through the same thing you are in right now... i am not happy anymore seeing him, i don't even make time to call or even send him a message.. i was just replying tohis messages, and sometimes i even don't do that.. if he wants to see me, i am reasoning out a lot of things to him so i can get away and just go home than see him... it is really possible not to love someone anymore. you have really fallen out of love with him and my only advise to you and don't make it any harder for you and to him. If you will not try hard... or maybe even if you do, all you will see are his faults, and the things you dislike about him, your feelings for him will never return - so don't force it. sort out your feelings.. it can take you a long while to decide on this, (it took me 3 months) but at least you are doing something about it... you can either try harder to love him again... or to decide and break up with him...

i think its very much possible. its beacsuse when there is nothing common, its the natural cause of falling out of the love.if you can't think life without him, why you are feeling this? it means you still love him. try to be more secure.

I think that it is completly possible to fall out of love with someone. When you spend a lot of time with them you really get to know them, and really really get to find out if they are the right person for you. I think you should speak openly with your borfriend about the feelings that you have, and if it is meant to be then love will find a way.

i know the feeling. same age, same situation. Still love him, but maybe.. not in love with him?

I think love always changes over time. What starts with wild passion becomes different and more stable. You are young and I think the "If you love something set it free" might apply here. If the two of you spend some time apart you may find that your interests have changed and that you no longer mesh. If in the future both of you want to be together that might be a better time to pursue a mature relationship. That would be my idea anyway.

I feel sometimes a couples we forget to talk to each other, just about small things. I can't say where you can fall out of love or not. I feel if you truely love someone from your heart it is always there. Sometimes we can lose our way. Maybe you just need to spice up your life with surprises.

I used to hate it when adults told me this, Its called puppy love.Now don't get me wrong im not no old grandma or anything im 25.But in my short years as an adult I have learned the differnce between love and puppy love,being in love and loving someone.There is a big differnce in the two..I have been with my husband for 10 yrs.married 3 of those 10.And if I would have done one thing right when I was in high school it would have been to be single.Exsprence life on my own.Im not telling you to go dump your boyfriend or anything but just listen to what people tell you sometimes.Learn to take care of your self.basicaly don't depend on a man to take care of you cause they come and go.Your young enjoy life, do what makes you happy .... Good luck :)

I think you have to look at the overall picture, how if your life overall with him??? Do you fight alot? Do you have fun with him? Does he show signs that he is still in love with you and vice versa? Thinking of not being able to live without him is hard to say if you still in love or just afraid not to find someone else perhaps,The fact you are 16 may have a big impact on that, depending on his age two you might both go through some changes with school and jobs and such still and you may drift apart but that is hard to say, I would say if your happy to stay because no sense risking what you have for nothing, but if things aren't going well then you questioning it may have given you your answer already

16? It must be the pits being committed at such an early age. Maybe that's the problem. You haven't "tried" enough guys and that's why you're questioning if this is it, is this the guy that you'll be spending the rest of your life with. It's like finishing your shopping when you've only seen one part of such a huge store. You haven't really checked out all of the options.

Every relationship goes through periods of highs and lows. However it sounds like your only in the relationship because it is what you are used to and you cannot imagine life without it. I have stayed in a relationship for a while simply because I couldn't imagine no longer being with her. This is a big mistake.