Is It Really That Hard to Be A Single Mom?

I don't have children yet, but I would imagine that yes, it would be hard raising a child on your own. When two people are there to take care of the child, the duties can be split between the two. When there's only one, that one is responsible for everything! If you are truly unhappy with your husband, I wouldn't let your fears of being a single mom stop you from leaving him. It angers me to see people "stay together for the kids." The kids may end up worse off, especially if they see the emotional detachment or arguing between their parents. If your husband is still going to be around for your son, then he will be able to help you still. If you get custody, he will be required to pay child support, and he may even want to spend some weekends with the child.

Well being a mum full stop is hard work so being a single mum adds a bit of extra work definatley. STaying with someone you no longer love purely because you worry about being on your own is not a good reason to stay you deserve to be happy also!

i know that this may sounds corny, but you can do anything you put your mind too. if you go into it thinking this is going to be hard, well then that is going to be your experince. I was a single mother of two boys for years. Let me just say this, I rather do it on my own with a peace of mind, rather then doing it with someone else with no mental support. trust yourself to knowm you can do anything!!

It is hard being a single mom but you can do it. There will be times when you wonder if you did the right thing but you will be ok. It takes a lot of time management and you will learn to do what it takes to make it work. Some of the draw backs are not having that extra person to help with the children and at times the nights can seem lonely. However is that any different then what you are going through now? I think we all have it in us to be single moms but I don't want to paint a rosey picture and then suddenly you think what the heck were those people telling me? You will learn to fix plumbing, to change your own tire, to budget your money and become a jane of all trades. Don't let fear keep you where you are unhappy. You will be fine.

You could do It,but it might be tight,but as long as your happy thats all that really matters,I was a single mom once and it wasn't too hard to do and I made about what you do a month,you could always get a house with extra space and get a roomate thats what I did It helped out alot,good luck with making a choice.

Well, alot of married moms find life difficult, so I imagine that being a single mom would be harder. You have to have a job that will pay enough, spend time with and take care of your child, cook and clean, and then somewhere in between all that you need to find some time for yourself. You won't have someone to rely on for extra money, to talk to about your problems with, or to ask you for help with your child. And wouldn't your child like a father who she could see everyday? I believe that your childs needs are the most important.

I keep thinking about her everytime I want to consider separating from my husband who I feel is very uncaring towards me This is what concerns me...If you are that unhappy and want to leave him why havent you....I've been a single mother to two kids and yes it can be hard BUT it was the best choice for me AND my children..I didnt want my kids growing up in a home full of anger and thinking tha the relationship their father and I had was normal OR acceptable on any level... sure its hard to be a single parent but its not impossible and bottomline IMO is this....do you want to be happy AND do you want your SON to be happy and learn how to treat ppl properly OR do you want to stay in a loveless marriage, be sad and miserable AND hve your son growing up thinking its ok to treat ppl and women like that?

I have family that can help me to take care of my child. Besides, my husband is responsible and he is very helpful. However, sometimes I still feel it's not easy to be a mom because there will be still many problems. So I can picture how difficult it is to be a single mom. She will be completely without her free time. Besides, it's not easy to go to work whereas you have to take care of your baby, too. And the divorce will lead to a very negative effect for children.

Im still single but i can see being a single mom or single dad is hard to handle coz you are alone to take good care of your children. You are the only provider of all there needs. So, you really have a double effort.

Now my sis tells me I am lucky that I do not have to deal with the dad. I was a single mom. The hardest part about it is the money part and trying to find some time to yourself. The time was never an issue with me because I loved being able to spend every minute with him. It's hard I am not gone to lie, But I wouldn't trade it. I love not having to deal with no one. I can do what I want with my son when I want to and not have to hear any objections. My son father (the Sperm donor is what I call him) has choose not to be involved at all. My son doesn't know him at all, but we're all dealt different hands, and we manage to get by. Good luck with what ever you decide, hope it all works out for you

If you truly are not happy you can make it, especially if you have other family who can help you out with child care while you work. Yes it is possible my mother cared for five so imagine that, your happiness is important and the child will be better to see you happy rather than miserable. It can be hard at times but if you have the will then you will find the way. Trust me it is very possible and I admire my mother for stepping out of that abusive relationship to find a better life for all of us. I really do think you need to be that strong especially for your kid if not for yourself. You should not raise a kid with tension and problems, they deserve some peace so that they can do homework or enjoy being a child. Don't put your child through that heartache and another thing is even if you don't fight in front of your child, a child is sensitive enough to feel when you are upset or not entirely happy.

i guess it's hard because you can only rely on yourself and you're the only one who can help yourself

I know a family where she's a single mom with two chldren 3 and 8. she seems to cope eith everything quite well, but I see that the children aren't very happy knowing that their dad and their mum live separately with different partners... I wouldn't say its a good idea to raise children without having a father in the family, but then again if you have them you have to do your best to keep them happy... Economically I don't know if 1600 is enough... where there is a will there is a way!! :) Best of luck mommyC

I have been a single mom at some point, and believe me, it IS hard. But I've grown up being alone, too. My parents split up when I was 2 years old and that was perhaps harder for me. I dont know what is the best thing for you to do, because every situation differs. The experience of my parents splitting up was a major factor enabling me to handle single motherhood. It toughened me up and made me much of a fighter. So I was able to manage. But that experience had scarred me for life. I'm 23 years old now, and only just recently have I learned to forgive my folks. I would not tell you to stay, too. Because honestly, I think the trauma of seeing your family unhappy and the mother hurt and alone is not a happy sight for the child. Perhaps if you could arrange for the father to be at least present in the child's life, then he would still know the love of being in a family, even if you are on your own.

You have alot of things to fingure out first before you go and do anything. What do you think is best for your son. Then what do you need to be happy. You need to weigh the options. Once you have desided that then you can do what ever is nessessary to be happy. Anyone can make it as a single parent. My cousin only makes 5.15 hour and she has a 5 year old girl now. She wont take any help that her daughters father wants to give to her because every time she gives him a chance he ends up being a loser in the end.

I was a single mom for about 4 months when my husband and I separated...and i'm not going to lie...it is hard work!! I was bitter at him during our separation and I thought it wouldn't be that different cause he didn't really do anything anyways...but once it's not there, you begin to realize what little help you got is definately missed. But even though it is tough being a single mom, you shouldn't base whether or not you stay in your marriage on that. Financially, there are ways to survive. If you do end up separating, you SHOULD get some kind of child support from him. And there is state assistance, like daycare assistance and food stamps. No one likes to get that kind of help, but it is better to get help and stay afloat than to have too much pride and you and your baby drown. (figuratively, of course.) Whatever path you choose, I wish you the best of luck!

there is alot of assistance out there and you just have to apply and qualify for it. i feel like a single mom most of the time and i too am married. my husband pitches in if and when he feels like it. my son is 7 so i have been doing most of it on my own for years. i worked 30 hours per week the first 4 1/2 years of his life by working in and out of the home. for the past 3 years i work from home doing various things like babysitting, online surveys and product testing and i have been the bookkeeper for his business for years (no paycheck for that though) and i take care of everything in the household including the finances, shopping, laundry, cleaning, bathing and caring for my son and helping with all the homework, driving him to school and waiting at the bus stop for him after school, walking down to get the mail each day, taking out the garbage and on and on. is it hard?? you bet your life it is but i gave up asking and begging for him to help me and getting into arguments with him. as long as he brings me the money to pay the bills and i get to be with my son it is fine and i will do what i have to do. if i had to add working 40 hours per week outside the home to that list i would never see my son and the time we did have together would be stressed and miserable. it is all a matter of what you are willing to put up with and do without.

While it is harder to be a single mom, it's harder on the kids if your marriage is just for the sake of the kids. If you have a good support network, family & friends, it makes it much easier. I made the mistake of keeping dad around, even though he was gone for 5 years, wish I'd of stayed a single mom. My kids would have been better off.