what would you do

Personally, I would try to encourage them to leave and move on with their life, but when it comes down to it, it is up to the person in the Bad relationship to choose to move on away from it. Most of the time they are so comfortable with that lifestyle and think nothing of it, or too scared to leave. But a relationship such as this, is not good for the self esteem, etc. and can lead to worse problems in the future. All you can do is try and be a shoulder to lean on, and be there if she does decide to finally leave him.

Wow.queit a long time.hum.10years.Maybe it's pretty hard for your friend to leave him.But if he guy continue doing this,she will get hurt in the end.Why no tell the guy how she feel .If the guy still love her.maybe he changed.But if he still keep making her cry.Why not be alone and find someone better.

my girlfriend has a marriage like that when they were dating he was sweet and sexy and romantic but now since they have been married all he ever does is cut her down and make her feel small so my advice is that she get out of the relationship it can only get worse she probably loves him very much but when he starts abusing that love iis not love at all he spouts off at every little thing and all but she is the firast one he comes to when he cant get something right she is more intelligent then him by a long shot i would tell your friend to think about her future life is that something she will tolerate if they marry i think she should dump the jerk and go on she can find better women should be treated a lot better they deserve it my friend wants out of her marriage but for the kids she endures it what kind of role model will he be if u decide to have kids all u can tell her is that look deep into her soul and figure out if thats the way she wants her life to be she deserves better and there are better man out there that will treat her the way he should i would dump the jerk but i dont know the whole situation so all i can say is be a friend and listen to her. let her cry on your shoulder. but then tell her she needs to make some important decisions on her future and what the outcome might be

it's plain and simple, if the relationship is turning you into a monster, get out of it. you'll know the relationship is good, if it changes u into a better person....

I'm not sure you can convince your friend to leave this relationship. A person only changes when what they are doing hurts more than moving forward to new opportunities. For example_ the pain of wearing shoes that hurt you forces you to buy a new pair even though you didn't want to. Perhaps your friend feels she only deserves a hurtful relationship. Again, she will have to find her way back to loving herself and feel worthy of a having a normal, healthy relationship. You're asking if there is something you can say; I understand. You can remind her she deserves better. You can stress your love and concern for her in a compassionate way. Ask her if she's happy? She might be afraid to leave because she can't find a place to go_ emotionally or physically. Tell her you and everyone who loves her will support her decision to leave and help her build a new life. When my daughter gets desperate and thinks of leaving her husband_ she knows her mom, sister and brother are there to catch her and help her take the first step. Except, she never chooses to leave. I don't encourage her to leave_maybe she likes her relationship. I only point out that her husband's behaviour is unfair to her. Oh well. Keep an open mind about how your friend feels without showing her your disapproval of her boyfriend. It will be easier for her to trust you if she's not busy defending the man she believes she loves.

There may be nothing that you can say. She needs to kind of come to her senses herself. I was in a relationship like that and no matter what my family and some of my closest friends said I stayed with him until i began to realize things.

Does she get to see how your man treats you? She should because then she would see how a real man treats his woman. My first longterm relationship was with a boy named Steve in highschool. He was shy, sweet, and romantic. Romantic in the old school sense like riding his bike for hours to leave a note in the bush in front of my house and carving our initials in a heart outline at the mall where there was fresh cement...that is still there btw. We had break ups and reunited 4 times. The last time he came looking for me, he was a different person. He was abusive, controlling, and very insecure. One night he actually grabbed me by the throat and looked at me with crazy eyes. Never showing fear, I whispered..Go ahead, kill me and get it over with...I don't care. Well I got lucky that it worked, but that was it for me. Your bf needs to realize that he is not the same guy he was in the beginning and that guy she fell for in the beginning no longer exists.

Relationships always go both ways, and I believe that as a general rule nobody stays in a relationship because he/she does not want to. In other words, your friend must be getting something out of it. Now as humans we are pretty strange creatures, and we might get so used to abuse that we fear losing it. I don´t want to imply that that necessarily applies to your friend, but I´ve seen a lot of relationships over the years where you just wouldn´t believe what was going on, and the two stay together for years on end. If a person wants to get out of a relationship, they get out, period. I would only dare to venture advise if I were explicitly asked on ´how´to get out. Otherwise, I would just look on in awe.

I wouldn't be in a relationship like that, period. If he makes me cry and upset all the time, I would be better off alone. 10 years is a long time, but in 10 years if he has turned into someone else, then it's really not good for her to just stay with him simply because it's been 10 years. Best of luck to her, and I'm glad that your guy is treating you right.

Well i have been there and if he is treating her like that then he must have someone else. She needs to confront him and see how he acts towards the ? and if she really knows him she will know if he is lying or not. Then she should just try to let go and find someone else to love. It is a hard decision to make when u have been with someone that long. Mine was 13 years and yes he found another but six months after that all happened i found my love i am with now. I dont regret it one bit. Tell her she is a better person to let go and let him find out he made a mistake by letting her go, ususally that is what they find out anyways. Mine did. Oh well. They never learn til it is too late. Tell her keep her head up and know she is worth more than how he is treating her.