My Teenagers are driving me crazy!!!!
By shewolf52002
@shewolf52002 (1214)
United States
April 15, 2008 11:51pm CST
Well to be fair only a couple of them are about to drive me over the edge. My 19 year old son moved back home last summer when he lost his job. We had not made him pay rent until he got another job. Then he threw a fit because we thought he should pay rent and reimburse us for gas for taking him back and forth to work. So he lost his next job and guess what mom and dad has fed him for months.
Then our 20 year old moved home and the minute we told her we expected rent she moved out. Then forked out most of her paycheck to her friends mom. Then you guessed it she lost her job and had no where to go and guess where she has been? Yep right here not contributing or even buying her own food. Now we have had to sell our running vehicle to stay out of repossession, I am tired and frustrated. What happened to the days where families helped one another out?
We also have four other teens in our home but two are too young for a job and the other is pregnant and living with us because her parents through her out.
What would you do? The salt in this wound is very few of them help with the housework either, at least not without a fight. Help!!!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
16 Apr 08
It sounds to me like it is time to stand your ground and tell them that either they help out or they get out! I have a 17 year old daughter who I homeschool and she works and pays most of her own bills, she is doing a rent to own payment on a big screen tv, pays for her gas and car repairs, bought her own car, and helps with groceries and bills.
It sounds like to me that they are expecting a free ride and you can't allow them to do that. They have to learn to do for themselves and support themselves.
There is no way that you can allow yourself to be without a vehicle or a home just to help them out. These are adult children and they need to learn that being an adult comes with some responsibility!
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Thanks for the best response and I hope that things are better now with you and your situation than it was at the time that you had started this discussion.
@kingcrapper (1536)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I have a couple teens myself and they are pretty good kids (thank God!). You sound very frustrated. I guess the only advice that I could give you is forming a strong front with your spouse and letting thing go. Can you imagine waking up everyday and having to deal with that? It would drain you emotionally as well as physically every minute of the day! Take a nice break doing something good for yourself and just remember that you did your best.
Any advise to share since my teens are a little younger? (ages 17, 16, 15, and 15)
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
16 Apr 08
wow! i would say its time to lay down the law! its not fair to you to feel the way you do and you have to make them see that, the question is...how! if your kids are getting some sort of un employment insurance, you gotta make them chip in - especially if they are eating your food!
@graceandowen (1637)
•
16 Apr 08
If i were you i would put my foot down, Your children need to realise life and jobs come with responsibility and that if they were living on their own it would cost them a lot more than it would with you.
I am just thankfull mine are stil at the toddler age at the moment lol
good luck with it all xxx
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
16 Jul 08
Sounds like you need to set some ground rules. I would have the pregnant teen move back in with mom and dad, its their problem, not yours. Then I would have the 19 year old grab the paper and start making some calls about jobs. The 20 year old needs to flip through the classifieds too. I'm not sure about the other ones but if they weren't my kids they would be somewhere else. You can't take in all the stray cats, deal with your own. If they don't want to help out with housework then lock the frickin fridge and pantry. The days of family helping each other out are still in exsistence, but the days of families letting people freeload never really caught on. Its not tough love its reality. I realize this discussion is probably resolved but I wanted to put my two cents in.
@johnandspike (8)
•
16 Apr 08
well i would tell them stright up pay up or leave. or make them at least do all the house work. it so easy to get a job. lol i wuld also try to get them to enlist into the army. i know alot of people that join and make alot of money. i know it hard to kick them out but when u do they know u mean busseines
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
16 Apr 08
This is a very hard situation to be in. I think that I would tell all that are living at home that it is time for a family meeting and sit down with them all and explain how much the bills are everymonth and how if they can not go and get steady work to help out then they are at least expected to help around the house. Let them know that one way or another they are expected to pay their own way when they reach adult hood. The two that are to young for jobs can surely do chores around the house and the older ones need to set an example for them.
@Petercheung (681)
• China
16 Apr 08
Well,family issues are serious subject,we could you give any reasonable advice or something,cus only you only what happened beside you.Just need talk,I think,between family members,Tell him/her what is the situation you are.and give him/her your advice.good luck!
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Sounds like you got quite a house full. I think most 19 and 20 year olds are still relatively immature. I don't think most of them are ready to be out in the world on their own. I think you need to set some guidelines and rules for them living there. If they are not paying rent they should at very least be contributing to the food purchasing, even if that means that they are only purchasing for themselves, at least they are not eating your food. It maby be necessary to have little notes that indicate whose food is whose, if a food item is marked as someone else's including and especially yours than no one else can touch it, unless they have permission from the owner of that food item.
You also need to set up a jobs chart. Any one who is not paying rent must earn their keep. Say one has to vacuum on Thursdays, one has to do the dishes on Wednesdays, someone else is responsible for taking out the garbage. Let them know if they are not going to contribute financially then they will need to contribute in such a way that will free you up to make more money.
