I'm Ashamed of Myself!

Don't beat yourself up over not acknowledging your daughters birthday. I've been in a similar relationship with one of my daughters and they know I am not the type to wish someone a happy birthday if I don't mean it and being treated badly by them of course I wouldn't so I just let the day go by. Thankfully we are all getting along now and past birthdays are all "water under the bridge" and forgotten....as they should be. Please don't feel so bad about it. If she doesn't want you in her life a Happy Birthday from you won't mean much will it?

I understand what your going through .But I would make peace with her before it might be to late and you have to live with it.

Call her today and apologize. At least you are not like my MIL she forgets and never remembers LOL One of her daughters called 2 weeks after her b-day had past and was so upset. She told her to get over it LOL

Oh I am sorry world, but no need to feel ashamed..Give her a call today and wish her a belated birthday and you never know, maybe things will turn around, you will start talking again..

My son has done the same thing to me, it has been awful many a tear I have cried over him, it came to the point were I had to see a solicitor to see his two daughters my granddaughters. I have also missed his birthday and wondered how I could do such a thing and was so so ashamed but time is a great healer and she will come round, because of what my son was like and he has come round. It has taken a while and I know it is hard as you are going through it at the moment.

Please don't beat yourself over this one. It is hard to be dismissed by your child but if you can feel that you can send her a card (belatedly) or something like that then do so. At least then you won't be feeling so awful with yourself and it is up to her to make amends. She may ignore you now but things will change I'm sure as she matures. I know how you feel as I did it to my mother and I hated myself even though I thought I was in the right. I was 18 and decided to move in with my then fiance and my mother being terribly catholic sent me into conventry. I wouldn't break that silence it was my father who in the end mended the bridges after 6 months. I probably still wouldn't be talking to her if he hadn't. I know that the longer a situation is left then the worse it gets and then it gets to the point where you can't go back. Don't leave it that long, I beg you. It really isn't worth it. If she wants to ignore you then so be it but life is too short and when I lost my Dad and my sister I was so glad that we were all talking because you can't do anything once they have passed on. If she wants to cut you out of her life then that is her perogative, it is very hurtful for you but leave the door open so that she can come back (hopefully with her tail between her legs and a peace offering in her hand!). Good luck

First let me say I am sorry things are rocky with you and your daughter. I hope things will change in time and you both can have a better relationship. I would have handled it differently unless I just forgot one of our kid's birthdays accidently. If one of my kids and myself were having issues, I would have sent a card but not called. I like to avoid arguing or disagreeing so it would be easier for me not to call.

Well, as I get older I realize that life is too short to not tell the ones that we love everyday how much we love them and how special they are too us. If you can't talk to her, at least send a note and wish her a Happy Birthday and let her know that although you feel that she doesn't want you in her life, that she is still your daughter and that you still love her and will always care about her. We can't turn our backs on our children even though we feel that they have left us. They need their space to grow and learn on there on but we have to be willing to be in the background to love them when they realize that they need us.

Sweety I feel for you, I really do! I know of families where the grown child has cut themselves off from their parents/siblings for a variety of reason, it happened in my own family and I can never forgive my eldest brother (actually my mums brother but cos I was adopted mine too) for the pain he put my Grandparents (his parents) through when he cut off contact with them becuae his wife was jealous that I got more attention and bought more than her daughter of the same age - even though they were raising me! D'uh. I do hope that at some point your daughter and you can work things out and resume a relationship but for now I wouldn't feel guilty about it! maybe next time you could post a card to her and see if there is any response - I know she has hurt you badly but you never know what is around the corner! xxx

Of course, without fully knowing the situation, it is a little difficult to judge if I would have done the same thing, however, I do believe that you are being a little harsh on yourself. If the relationship hurts both of you, sometimes it's best just to let things be. Perhaps if you still feel like you need to do something, why not write a letter? Personally, I find that I can be far more articulate in writing than I can be in speech. You could say that despite everything that has happened, you are still thinking of her, and love and care about her. But please stop feeling ashamed! Any relationship, including that between mother and daughter, is a two way street. You cannot hold yourself responsible for her actions.

even if you apologize today, i think she still don't reach for you again recently.but you need to apologize for your behavior.after a long time, she will understand and want you again.this is my experience as kid's viewpoint.

As a mother I believe thats a mothers worse fear of being cut out of their childs life.My heart reaches for you I know you must be in pain.I am a lot like you.I try to take the higher road and forgive.Soemtimes though I believe even with our children it is best to just walk away and not try so hard even thoughh we hurt.I hope in time your daughter reaches for you again and thinks about the good times.Life is too short to hold onto hate or rage.Be strong and just know your a good mother...Am sure she will come around.Hugs...

many times in my life I've been ashamed of myself. Last week I didnt wish my sister on his birthday because of our fight. I guess everybody have some part of themseleves that they dont like.

I really do relate to what you are saying. My daughter has a pattern of blaming me for all things wrong in her life and she also did something that hurt me a lot over this last holiday season. After years of dealing with that type of behavior, I drew a line for myself. I decided I had to find a way to not be a victim to that kind of verbal abuse. So for a long time, I didn't contact her. When she contacted me I talked as usual. She seems to like it better that way. I always think about a way to leave when we get together, so that I am not stuck with her when she tries to pick an fight. I'm hoping that a new pattern of behavior will develop between us. Sometimes, just being together can trigger her outbursts, but the more often we are together without this happening will be building a new relationship style between us. So far, it's working well.

Despite the fact that you and your daughter had a "falling out", she is and always will be your daughter. We tend to be really hard on ourselves when we forget something. Send her a card. Call her. Or send her a small bouquet of flowers. Don't continue beating yourself for a slip of the mind. We all get bwain cwamps occasionally. Big huggers to you.

hi worldwise! i think it would have been better if you have phoned her and wished her a happy birthday. i have a similar situation like you, only i am in the position of your daughter and in your position is my brother. i just had my birthday last April 19 and my brother didn't send me any birthday greetings like he used to. like you we don't have that smooth-sailing relationship and we're kinda cold towards each other mainly because i am cold towards his wife. but even with that, i was still expecting a birthday greetings from him. after all, he's my brother. i got really disappointed and i'm wishing that our relationship would just be back to normal.

I know you are feeling guilty, but the real question is if you would have called, would she have accepted the call? If the relationship is so volatile, then maybe it was best that you didn't call her, it could have started an argument, that may have had you feeling guilty for a whole other reason. The best thing to do is to leave it alone. Its been my experience that we all "rage against the machine" at some point in our lives, thinking we are grown and know everything. But our bubble gets busted, and what do we end up doing? We run back to our mom. Don't worry, it will all work out in the end. Just let her bump her head a few times, and she will come to realize your wisdom.

That is so sad worldwise. I guess you and your daughter needs to talk a lot things together. I am a daughter too and sometimes my mom -feel the way you feel because I am always looking for ways to be independent and all those stuff. At one instance my mom really believe that I do not love her anymore because I want to live alone in my own place and because I rarely visits her at home. As her daughter, I never wanted her to feel that way - there is no way I would meant her to feel that way. I love her soo much but of course I need to grow on my own too. I talked to her about it and I told her that never will I cut her out of my life - because that is really impossible because she is my mom - even if we turn the world upside down that fact will still remain - alongside my love for her and dad. Worldwise, I believe that your daughter never intends to hurt you in her ways, I guess she is just living her life in a way that she wants to learn more about it on her own. Just like you want it too when you were her age. Its not yet late to understand and talk to your daughter. God bless.

I would call her and just your sorry and say happy birthday.she will understand.

Maybe you forgot your children's birthday. You should organize your children's birthday the sooner the better. And on this occasion, you should make it up with your daughter.