Photo album question...
By jbl1975
@jbl1975 (374)
United States
April 17, 2008 11:29pm CST
There's something I've always wanted to ask people. Actually this consists of two seperate questions:
1. If you left a photo album (or anything for that matter, but we'll stick to a photo album) on your coffee table, would you expect any guests you have over to look through it without asking if they were bored or curious?
2. If you said yes to question one, then if you had pictures of stuff you didn't want just anyone to see (pics of you in the nude, for example) in said photo album, would you leave it out there?
I want to know because when I was in college back in 1994, I had a problem with my roommates over something revolving country music. (Two loved it, one tolerated it, I HATED it.) Well, it wasn't so much the music that drove me to talk to our resident advisor, it was the fact I was threatened by one of the roomies for changing the station on MY stereo (where the music was coming out of), and me with horrendous emotional problems at the time, I found myself calling my RA frantically to talk to him about it. (I recall telling him on his machine and to his girlfriend to call me "the minute he got in".)
I finally went to his apartment and told him what happened, and he called at least two of my roomies to his apartment and he took them into his bedroom to discuss the situation, but I stayed out there to give them privacy and respect, even turning on his television so I couldn't hear them. While this went on, I saw his photo album on the coffee table and I started flipping through it. Among all of his pics were three of him in the nude taken by (assumingly) his girlfriend. One had him in the doorway of his bedroom fully nude with his johnson in full view, then the second pic of him in same doorway turned with his back towards door but with his head peeking back and his butt showing, and the third pic was him by the front door with a cowboy hat over his crotch. I'm thinking "oh my God", but I said nothing and I was done flipping through the album by the time he got done talking to my roomies. We appeared to clear the air (somewhat) and we all left.
I didn't talk to any of the roomies for about 24 hours, and realizing how lonely I was getting, I decided to call the RA to talk with him while nobody was home. As I started talking to him, I decided to bring up the pics in his album just to bring some humor to what was a dreary time for me. I told him, "Boy you and your woman sure take some wierd pics." Instead of laughter and him saying something along the lines of, "Oops, I meant to put that away." or "I shouldn't have left that out." He laid into me about, "Why were you looking at my pictures?! They're my pictures!" Suddenly, this had turned entirely sour. I there trying badly to apologize for it, and he politely ended the call. I hung up, feeling ashamed at first, but within 10 seconds, I found myself thinking, "Okay, so I shouldn't have been looking at those pics, but why did he have them out in public space?!" I immediately called him back and told him that, and he's all like, "Why should I have to tall people to not look at them?!" and even trying to tell him that, "Had I went into his bedroom, opened a dresser drawer, pulled out the album, and started looking through it, THEN I'd understand your anger." didn't go over well. He then laid into me about my behavior over "Cursing out lawyers." (As I mentioned, I had severe emotional problems, and a few months earlier I had been in a car accident where I rear-ended someone, but did no damage to the car or her, and after trading information, I got a call a week later from her lawyer, and I was so shocked I ended up screaming foul language about the situation in the background.), and how I was telling him to call him "the minute he got in". He then told me that he doesn't have to call me back "AT ALL, muchless THE MINUTE he gets in." (I think he said that because it appeared I was overreacting over such a trivial thing as a music genre, but as mentioned it was for more then just that, and I told him.)
After that whole thing, I hated him. Here's the thing; he was an RA at DeVry (where we were all going), he gets free rent (which includes free utilities) and free phone, and doesn't have a roommate at all (things I sure as hell would've killed for at the time). HIS responsibility was to attend to any problems we were having. Also, as an RA, he is going to have people coming and going at times, so this guy shouldn't have ANYTHING out that he didn't want anybody to see. If all this was a problem, then he shouldn't have been an RA. Hell, I would've been happy to have taken his place.
Ever since then (and after I departed the school shortly after that year was over), I have asked people those two questions, and the answers have always been yes and no, respectively. Not one person has sided on his behalf, and for about six months afterwards, I would write to him to let him know (it got to 13-0 in my favor by the time I quit contacting him), plus I let him know basically what I said earlier about his responsibilities as an RA.
I am also willing to answer any questions about what happened that I didn't immediately address.
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