Emotions... How Do You Deal With Yours?
By Darkwing
@Darkwing (21583)
April 18, 2008 8:33am CST
Emotions are present in every human being, but vary from person to person.
Some people become emotional at every single thing, some occasionally, but not always, and then there is a third class of people who are able to hide their emotions from others. They don’t let others know about their feelings and thoughts, whatever the situation. A lot of men are thought to belong to this third group because we don't see them cry, but crying isn't the only emotion; we also have to take into consideration anger, pain and stress, fear, despair and love.
Emotions are like a tidal wave inside us... our feelings within the inner Self... our inner Self, being our Persona. They can be triggered off by our hormonal activity; can be inherent from our parents; at times when your persona has to face a crisis or goes out of balance; or by stress, grief, anger and pain, love, fear and despair.
So consider your own emotions. Would you say your an very emotional person, emotional on occasions, or are you able to hide your tears, anger and pain?
Where do you think you get your emotional state from? Did you inherit it, develop it, or is it a hormonal state, as far as you're concerned?
Why do you think men don't cry? Why is it such a bad thing... if I see a man cry, I really feel for them because I know it's a hard thing for them to do, yet sometimes, you just have to let go of your emotions?
This is like another "Getting to know my friends" exercise to me; so please be honest with yourself and let's get our teeth into this one.
Me? I'm a very emotional person. I think I developed it myself over the years. I show my emotions often... just can't keep them inside... sometimes, I don't even know why I'm crying. Just thoughts and memories I suppose. But, it's a way of letting out my pain, and quickly moving on. I'm not ashamed about being emotional... I don't care who sees me cry, but when I'm in this state, I don't like to be hugged really, because it upsets me more. Don't get me wrong, hugs are great, but during a show of emotion, I'd rather walk, solitary, in the countryside, and preferably, in the rain.
Your turn...
6 people like this
10 responses
@littleowl (7157)
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23 Apr 08
Hi Darkwing-I am a very emotional person but don't let people see me cry-I have always gone by the saying that 'when you cry, you cry alone but you smile the world smiles with you'-true or not if i do get emotional and need to cry i cry alone-like you i find it hard to be hugged during that time.
It takes a lot to anger me but if I do then those concerned know about it as that is something I cannot hold in but when thats done its over with-I can forgive easily unless it was something that was very hurtful then it takes me a while but eventually I do-life is too short for bearing grudges or negativity in your life-as much as I can I try to be just a happy go lucky person and help others as best is possible,to care and love others-without that I would feel lost..blessed be littleowl
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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24 Apr 08
There are times when I just can't hold back the tears. I don't do it for attention but sometimes, somebody will say something that just opens up the tear ducts for me. Or, they might put me on the spot about the loss of somebody or something equally sad, and I feel I can talk about it. But no... a few words, and I have to swallow hard to try and stop the tears, but I'm not often successful. It's just one of those things in life... I'm not ashamed of crying.
Brightest Blessings my friend, and thank you for your contribution. xx
@littleowl (7157)
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24 Apr 08
Hi Darkwing-you are so right there i no shame in crying infront of someone-being truthful I think it stems from a long way back in my teens and also in an abusive relationship that I was always told that crying was a sound of weakness-maybe that it is the real reason I find it hard to show that emotion in front of someone-bright blessings your friend littleowl
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Feelings affect me all the time but I won't show it as much if I'm in an uncomfortable situation. When I'm with friends I'm pretty no-holds-barred, but my friends know me. Also if I'm with people I'm just meeting but the vibe is good, I'm pretty genuine as well. I laugh and cry when I want to laugh and cry, regardless of what people around me do. I don't tend to hide anger if there is a reason. If someone stiffs me or tries to walk on me, they'll probably know it, I don't tolerate that type of thing. I don't tolerate it toward people I care about either.
Some examples of when or why I would mask emotional responses - not showing fear in a scary situation in order to help others who are scared, walking away instead of literally tearing into somebody because it would draw too much attention, supressing whatever it is because I *know* it's hormonal and uncalled for, etc.
Men may have different actions.. or non-actions associated with how they feel than women. It does seem like women cry much more readily than men, but women may be more prone to emotional pain making them HURT, while men tend to get ANGRY. A woman will therefore cry and hole up, or go see her girl friend(s) while a man will go bust something up, confront another person, or bottle it and hopefully not take it out on somebody who doesn't deserve it.
If I am truly upset about something, I'm choosy about who does the comforting. If people are there when I don't want them to be, I push them away, but if I want somebody there, I'll ask and ask again. I try to remember this and in turn be there for friends and/or family in the way(s) that they need me to be.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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22 Apr 08
There are some very wise words in your response, my friend. You have certainly done your homework on emotions, especially regarding the differences between men and women and you've taught me a couple of things today! I just can't find any argument because i agree with everything you say.
Brightest Blessings and many thanks for a really well thought out, and explanatory contribution, my friend. x
@Darkwing (21583)
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23 Apr 08
Nothing wrong with turning to poetry when you can't confront the person involved, my friend. I do it to! Do you have somewhere I can read your poetry? Mine is on...
www.freewebs.com/darkwing
...if you'd like to take a look. Some of it, at least.
Brightest Blessings. x
@tinae1236 (6)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I, Myself turn to my poetry when I am upset and can't talk to the person I am upset with
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
20 Apr 08
Well I am a bit of both there is times that I can hide it and keep it inside but then there is times where I just cry and cry and do not want to talk to anyone for a while
I just want to be left to it
But I do have to say that I do like a Hug when it happens that bad just not talk for a while but then I am strange lol
Last week poor Gissi's fur was wet from my Tears and then he I think he got fed up with being wet lol
@Darkwing (21583)
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21 Apr 08
Yes, I know what you mean, my friend. You're very much like me in dealing with things... it depends of course who is involved, as to how you show your emotions. The hug is welcome too, as long as it's genuine, but sometimes the hugger will break down and cry as well, and that I can't handle. I'd rather they didn't hug me in that case, because it makes things harder to deal with. Like you, I'd rather be alone, and preferably out walking somewhere.
Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution, my friend. Love and hugs. xxx
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
I was once an emotional person, I always speak and voice out what I feel. But after learning that we should know how to deal and control it, I managed to keep what I know should be left unspoken. So I believe that makes me belong to the third group you're talking about here, we just have to learn to cope up with such feelings to make it a lot easier for us to live by.
Some of the best things that happened to me is that, I also learn how to appreciate the little things. I sought for something to explore what I possess, hone my talent and skills in being creative. With that, I could channel all my frustrations to what I do, turn it into something more useful and positively.
@Darkwing (21583)
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19 Apr 08
Yes, it's good if you can control your emotions but it's also good if you can cry, and are not ashamed of crying. Sometimes, it's better to let go of things than to suppress them and have them build up inside you.
Brightest Blessings, my friend, and thank you for your contribution. xx
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
19 Apr 08
I do not really deal with my emotions. I normally do not display my emotions, be it happy or sad. I had it shutoff most of the time unless I am challenged uninvited. I would lose control over it. As the saying goes, there is no fire without smoke. I guess I am still human after all.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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19 Apr 08
Yes, you're very human, my friend... we all have our own ways of dealing with our emotions and this obviously works for you. It wouldn't work for everybody though, my friend. I sometimes wish I could hide my emotions, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, I wouldn't want to change my persona... I like who I am, and I guess that's how I'll stay.
Brightest Blessings my friend, and thank you for your contribution. xx
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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19 Apr 08
You've always been very open with me, my friend, and that's over quite a period of time. You don't have to show your emotions to do so, but the way I see it, it doesn't help to keep them inside. They just build up into a bigger thing. There again, if that's the way you can more easily cope with things, then it can't be wrong, my friend.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
Hi Darkwing! I am very emotional but I hide sadness, disappointments, hurt and anger inside me. I guess, I have developed this kind of attitude over the years. It is here in mylot that I am trying to learn to let go slowly of how I truly feel. I do like to be hugged. Whenever I feel the sadness, I just wanted a hug and stay there for a little while til I get to smile again.Just my thoughts dear friend! Take care and have a great time!
@Darkwing (21583)
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19 Apr 08
I seem to remember you telling me this in another discussion my friend. It's good that you can get over most things with a hug. Hugs are precious things which mean a lot, when you're sad, but if somebody hugs me just out of sympathy for the moment, then it just makes me worse... don't ask me why, because I'm not sure. It's probably that they're showing me the affection I need from somewhere else, where it's not forthcoming.
Brightest Blessings my dear friend and thank you for your contribution. xx
@deeeky (3667)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
19 Apr 08
In the past emotions were not as high as they are today which have increased in the past ten years or so.
I can cry very easily when the situation arises, especially what the emotions being portrayed by actors on films.
Every time I watch ' It's a wonderfull life ' I never fail to cry'
A great discussion as usuall my friend. Well posted
@Darkwing (21583)
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19 Apr 08
Thank you my friend. Yes, I can relate to that, as my emotions are higher now than they were ten to twelve years ago. I put it down to what we've experienced through life, what has accumulated, dreary news, and even the loss of friends to the otherworld. All these things make you stop and think, and it's often then that I get emotional. It's not only sadness though, it's all sorts of emotions; mixed feelings.
I can see where you're coming from with the films too. It's a Wonderful Life gets to me as well, as does Ghost and a few others besides. I think the older we get, the worse we get, my dear friend!
@raydene (9871)
• United States
18 Apr 08
Hi Sweets
I don't show all my
emotions but if deeply touched I
will get misty.
I am private about alot of it.
I always try to step back
take a very deep breath before
firing back...I realize that others
may be shooting at me due to situations
I have no idea about so I try to tread gently!
xoxoxoxoxoxxo
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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18 Apr 08
I think it's a good quality to be able to control your emotions, especially at times when others are needing your strength and support. I admire you for that.
I don't know whether I'd want to change the way I am, regarding my emotions, because it's me, and I like me, if you see what I mean. I can find the strength to support others, but eventually, I end up in tears for them, because I feel their pain or desperation.
Brightest Blessings, my dear friend, and thank you for your contribution. xxx
@sharon_ (1169)
• United States
24 Apr 08
I'm going to have to say that I become emotional "occasionaly" I almost always tear up whenever I'm watching a really good tear-jerking movie. I also tend to cry whenever someone makes me very angry.
@Darkwing (21583)
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24 Apr 08
I guess that's your "sensitive" side. We can't help it sometimes. I can just be sitting here at the computer, and thinking about something sad that's happened in my life, and the tears fall, uncontrollably. Sometimes I don't even really know why!
Brightest Blessings, my friend, and thank you for your contribution.