Help! My four year old has forgotten her toilet training.
By penny64
@penny64 (1106)
Australia
April 19, 2008 7:23am CST
My daughter was fine using the bathroom six months ago. Now she has gone backwards and will sit and rock, jiggle and even wet her pants rather than go. She begs to be carried to the toilet and won't wipe her own backside. Most of the time, she wets her pants in the process of going. I took her to the doctor, but there's nothing wrong. I have tried ignoring her except to repeat that she must go on her own, and then going over the top in praising her if she does go herself. That seems to help a little, so perhaps it is an attention thing. Any ideas? Thank you!
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5 responses
@kezabelle (2974)
•
19 Apr 08
Is there anything thats changed recently that might have upset her? Our daughter is 4 and 7 months ago we moved house and her fav teacher left at preschool it was all a bit much and she started wetting at nursery purely for attention. They had a sticker chart there to help encourage her to use the toilet but it took a good 3 months to stop, we knew she would as she was fine at home.
So maybe get a sticker chart and tell her to put a sticker on it ever time she uses the toilet herself and she can have a little treat when she has filled it all (make sure you leave gaps for accidents!)
Also I printed some of my daughters fav characters on plain pink knickers its our business anyway but you can buy the paper and use a home iron, and for every day she was dry she got a brand new pair of knickers she also didnt want to wet in them so that was the biggest thing that helped her
Good luck but it will pass dont worry
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@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
19 Apr 08
Thank you for these ideas. I really like the one about special knickers and am going to try it. She is not wetting anywhere except when home with me, so I think that diverting the attention back onto her when she does the right thing is going to help a lot. There has been no real change except perhaps I've had to work a bit more lately. Other than the drama whenever she needs to go, everything is as usual. It is sometimes very difficult to balance not enough attention and too much attention. Thanks again for your help.
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@kezabelle (2974)
•
19 Apr 08
Youre welcome definatley try the knickers they did make the biggest difference for us, if she is only doing it at a specific time like as you say when she is home with you then most likely it is attention seeking so it should be easy to resolve children can be sensitive so it might be becauyse of you working a little more but it could also simply be she is testing her boundaries, plenty of attention when she does it on the toilet and say nothing if she wets herself just clean her up and carry on it will soon pass xx
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@deemazing (395)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Oh yes, this is definitely an attention thing. She is self-consciously afraid she is losing you to your work. For you to stop what you are doing and wipe her, she knows she has your attention. I think sometimes it's not about rewarding her with a treat, but maybe some personal time together. As much as you probably think you pay enough attention to her, she may not feel that way. I think maybe you should try to reward her with doing an activity together, maybe a puzzle or coloring. If you live in an area where there are lot of rocks available, I've learned that kids love to paint rocks with their parents.
Good luck!
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@Gyan_guru (364)
• India
26 Jul 08
Kids are real precious in this world and they are also very sensitive in this stage..and their life depends on how you take care of them at this stage.You have taken good steps on praising their efforts..Its not about toilet training , its regarding their behaviour , it all depends on how parents handle.Attention at this stage is what parents job and if you take my suggestion please do it yourself because I dont recommend any baby sitter at this stage..
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
26 Jul 08
Thank you for your advice. We seem to have got through this difficult stage, thanks to the great suggestions of my fellow MyLotters. I do agree that this is something best handled by the parents, or at least a babysitter should be told the procedure for toileting, so as not to confuse the child.
@chrysz (1602)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
I agree that it is just an attention-catching technique your child is doing. My child used to pee on her pants sleeping which she hasn;t done for years and that was when I get busy with work. Some psychologists say that children might be emotionally distressed so they tend to forget their potty trainings. I hope your child would soon be back to her bestself again. Goodluck!
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@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
20 Apr 08
It does sound like an attention thing. My stepson does the same thing if the bathroom door is locked or something he will just poop himself or pee himself. My stepson will be 5 in June. I hope things get better. Just keep praising her and encouraging her. It will get better with time.
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@freedomg (1684)
• United States
6 Jun 08
It is an attention thing. Maybe some thing has changed in your home that shook her up I don't know. If not it may just be her being afraid that being a big girl will mean letting go of mommy. You may want to let her know that nothing will take you away from her. Give her the praise but not over the top. Help her find other "big girl" things that she likes too. Being a big girl includes going on your own and she will get back on track. Good luck my friend.
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