Yes Officer I Did It On Purpose.....

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Last night my internet was acting up. So I decided to rearrange the living room and bedroom furniture. I had a plan honest I did, but it kinda went walk about after a few too many homemade sangria's. My son and I had been playing "I'm a better bartender than you" in the kitchen and we got rather carried away. The soon to be ex had left for a night run (fuel driving) and we were celebrating 12 whole hours of freedom. At about 11pm the power went out due to a huge storm happening to the north of us. Have you ever tried to navigate around misplaced furniture in the dark with enough alcohol in your system to fell a horse? Funny, painful on the shins, and totally not recommended. We finally negotiated our way out of the living room and proceeded to wreck bad placement havoc on the master bedroom. By the light of a few candles it actually looked rather romatic in it's new configuration. The bed was on the other side of the room framed by the silk curtains and the slipper chair was in the corner next to the wardrobe where I'd always wanted it. It was rather a tight space between the foot of the bed and the end wall, but I liked it. Well the soon to be ex came home earlier than expected. I had fallen asleep on the couch and didn't hear him come in. Well I didn't hear him at first. I don't like the 'f' word and hardly ever use it, so it came as shock to spring awake with it being bellowed throughout the house. I closed my mouth and listened and realized it wasn't me or my son. I picked up a pewter candle stick and snuck down the hallway. The bedroom door was open and a lump of what I took to be a person huddled on the floor moaning and swearing. My son appeared with a flashlight and the first thing I saw was blood on my bed cover and the footboard of the bed. Further investigation showed a gash in the soon to be ex's forehead. Ouch! and a big Ooops from me! With no power, he'd walked into the room and thrown himself across what he thought was the centre of the bed in his exhaustion and desire to just fall asleep. With the bed moved, he connected instead head first on the edge of the footboard and smacked himself silly and bloody. When he was able to stand and work his way to the kitchen for cold water, ice and a cloth, my son retreated to his own room and closed the door and I began to casually move the living room furniture back to it's original places. Finally the soon to be ex says, "Forget the furniture, it's too late, I'm calling the cops, I think you're trying to kill me, sh*t my head hurts, I'll probably need stitches, where's the aspirin, do we get 911 up here, WHERE THE H*LL IS MY CELL PHONE!" It was a long night. The cops showed up, listened to our stories and tried to convince my soon to be ex that it was an accident, he didn't need stitches, and to calm down and just go to bed. One of the officers took me aside and asked me if I was ok. Rumours had spread about the problems between me and the hubs and he was concerned. I reassured him that I was fine, but, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, "yes Officer, I did it on purpose". He cautioned me then to behave myself, but what a hoot it would be to have a domestic case he could honestly file under "Death by Furniture Displacement". It's a good thing I know his mother very well, or my sense of humor could have landed me in the local klink for the night! LOL After they left the soon to be ex inverted the bedroom door knob so the lock entry was on the outside instead of the inside, and went to bed after a lot of heaving and crashing the furniture back into it's original position. Before he left today, he locked the bedroom door from the outside, pocketed the key and went off to work. D*mn, some people just love to spoil your fun, don't they? My questions is......anyone here wear size small ladies Fruit of the Looms? I can't get at my underwear now!*pout**sigh**sob