Are you a good dad if???

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Ok here is the situation I got pregnant at 16 I own up to the responsibilitys of having a child right from the start. On the other hand my sons father was very hurtful to me as with many different things like threats and trashing my car or cheating. Now for the first few years of my sons life his father has been in and out of his life then total cut of contact now 12 years later hoping hes has some kind of sense of remorse for leaving his son hanging in the past with ok, I'll come see you or I'll call and not doing so I have done everything to try to get them together, his father has another child that he has put through this same ordeals of I'll be there and doesnot call for months, So recently my sons father has the nerve to tell me he has no bond with my son and I just want his gravy train!! He currently has three more children added to his pot and has them living with him and his new girlfriend and because he takes care of them he says he is a great dad. So my question is Are you considered a good dad if you only care about the children you have in your home and youonly pay support without reaching out to the children you abandoned emotionally Is that right that he pays his support because he is forced to by the state, Is it right is he a good dad when his twelve year old son is hurting because his father blames everything, one whatever and does not want his other children someone enlighten me please....