Can you say no to people who ask to hold your baby?

You had hardly abandoned her babies really dont notice aslong as they are warm and being loved they are happy no matter who is holding them. I have never found reason to say No to anyone holding my baby as long as I know them they arent strangers to myself and I know they will be held safely I really dont see the problem. The best thing you can do for your child is allow them to get to know their family and be used to them as you will never know when you will need to call apon them to look after the baby (trust me) so the more she has cuddles with them and gets to know them the better it will be. Its hard lettig them out of your sight but it does get easier honestly and you need to get used to it aswell as I never did and then one day I ended up in hospital away from her and it broke my heart seriously with our second ive made myself leave her with others for myself aswell as her.

There have been times when I refused to let someone hold my infant for a couple of reasons..Either I didnt care for that person or maybe they'd been drinking etc etc...and I have NO PROBLEM saying No to someone...bottomline, its MY CHILD..end of story..

I guess it depends on how you look at it. This woman is technically the child's step-grandmother so there's no reason they shouldn't develop a relationship! I very much doubt your daughter was terrified - babies go from Dr to Dr after birth - midwife to midwife after that, relative to relative after that - children of a young age don't worry about things like that. It doesn't happen until later when they grasp what's going on! I haven't yet said no but i also haven't thought it would be a big deal especially when they are very young. You just need to remember at 1 stage or another, this child of yours will be in the care of someone else (whether you have another baby or have an emergency etc) so they really do need to have that social contact with other people. She wont learn to be ok with others or anything unless you allow her to be :) Good Luck & try not to be too concerned, this woman has probably raised her own children so she's capable of watching your daughter for 15 minutes & i don't think your daughter would've been too concerned - it was just someone new that she could play with & get to know!

When my daughter was first born I passed her around to anyone that wanted to hold her. Most of the people that did want to hold her were great with kids and usually had babies of their own. Plus, it was nice to have a break and I wanted her to be used to other people holding her. I just made sure the person had washed their hands and hadn't just been smoking. I was always right there too so if she started fussing and needed mom, I was within arms reach.

If the person is totally a stranger to me...I will not let her hold my baby or if ever I have to do so, I will never leave the baby alone with her. I think that's a natural reaction for all mothers to protect their babies from all harms especially from strangers. Sometimes, it also take a while before I hand my baby even to relatives because I feel that the baby might not like it or may feel uncomfortable with her.

hi, like yourself when i first had my daughter i didnt want to let anybody hold her, i even watched her father like a hawk when he had her, i followed him around and checked everything he did, i even remade the bottles he had made just to make sure they were done properly. I think when you are a new parent you think that you are the only person that knows how to care for your child, others do know tho and the thing is you have to learn to let go a little, that for me was just letting her father have her sounds silly but i do know how you are feeling. with my second child i didnt have any problems like that, its all experience i think and im sure you will soon feel comofrtable with others holding her.

Of course I wouldn't say no if the parent or whoever wants my help to hold her/his child. I really scared holding babies on my own hands especially if they're still that tiny and having soft skin. I thought I might squeezed them so tight or what. Anyway, if someone wanted me to hold the baby out of fun ir trying, I would not because as what I've said, I'm scared of hurting the baby.

I also don't believe that you abandoned your baby. I believe that you have to allow you and your child to be apart, you didn't leave the baby with a stranger to you so as long as the baby wasn't upset no problem. Kids need to meet and get use to relatives they need to socialize so that when you are at family functions they aren't glued to mom and dad. Now obviously I'm no expert but this is just how I feel. I have no problem letting the relatives hold the baby actually I find that family functions are great if she will be social and let people hold her and talk to her it gives me a little baby free time and everyone is generally happy/excited to hold and play with the baby.

I can't comment on your particular situation with your husband's step-mother as I don't know if you guys are close. I would say though that over the years the most clingy babies who turn into clingy toddlers and later clingy children are the ones that have over-protective mothers who don't let anyone else hold their child as a baby. I'm not suggesting that you are over-protective but feeling guilty for letting a family member hold your child firstly indicates that you are a first time mother (believe me, if and when you have a 2nd child, you'll be glad for people to hold your child and give your arms a rest). Having these fears is quite normal but don't let yourself get carried away with wanting to be the only one to hold your baby. I can give you many examples but I'll stick with one - I have two close friends who had a child at around the same time. One of them was happy to pass her baby around to friends to hold her and the other didn't let the baby go to anyone as she wanted to hold her herself all of the time. The baby who went to everyone is now a happy cheerful child who gets along with kids of all ages and is polite and friendly to all family friends whereas the other girl is a moody child, is very clingy with her mother and constantly sticks with her mother when we have family and friend get togethers much to the annoyance of the other parents who all think the child is spoilt and overly demanding. She even has problems at school mixing with other kids and doesn't have many friends. I'm not saying this is 100% due to her mum being so protective of her since her birth but it's not the first time I've seen kids turn out this way.

If they are my friends or relatives, it's no problem for them to hold my baby. If they are strangers, of course I will decline it as I feel so nervous about it. I can't let strangers to hold my baby.

I have never had a problem telling people they couldn't hold my babies. I don't think you did anything wrong by letting your husband's stepmother hold your baby though. Unless of course she is not trustworthy or was under the influence of a substance. You weren't abandoning your baby. As much as we all want to hold our new babies 24-7, we do have to put them down once in awhile or hand them off to someone else. The only people I don't let hold my children are those I don't trust, don't know or don't like. Or for other safety reasons. What I hate more than anything is when a complete stranger wants to hold my baby. No way!

I said no many times when my children were babies. I knew what was best for them and had no qualms about protecting them. When they were born, they were never out of my site in the hospital because there was a rash of baby kidnappings at the time. You go right ahead and do what you think is best for your baby. You're all the defense your baby has!

Yes. I was very picky about who held my baby when she was a baby. Of course she was around me 24/7 so naturally she only wanted me and if somebody else held her, she screamed. I suppose maybe that would be payback for the poor schmuck who wanted to hold her =P I'm kidding. I would not want her to cry and if I did let somebody hold her, I would probably not even walk away. This guilt that you feel is proof that you want to do anything but what people are asking you to do. Don't give in!! Guilt is there for a reason.

I had one experience about this. My brother-in-law's girlfriend have a son. We are at is house at that time when they decided to get something from the store. The baby did not want to go with them so I told them, just leave him to me. The girl did not say no to me and she got her son into the car. In this situation, I can understand her because she hardly knew me at that time. At least, she is protective of her son and maybe, she just did not want strangers to look after her baby. You see, mothers will be mothers, no matter what other people will say. Gladly now, she is letting me hold her son and I got to play with him a lot. She even let me look after him whenever they go to the store again.

If you are a new mom you are bound to be anxious, but you did not abandon your baby and as you said the baby was fine. At that age they just want to be held and don't make strange as yet. You should check if they have parenting centres in your area if you live in Ontario. My daughter in law has gone to one with her baby ever since she was one month old. These are centres where parents can come, there is a trained worker on staff, moms and dads (a few) discuss various things, there is story and music time and it is so amazing even young babies are fascinated by the goings on. Sometimes I take her there by myself and yes, other people hold her for brief periods if I have to fix up the stroller or go to the washroom. I have relatives who raised their kids and recently their grand kids who never allowed anyone except the immediate family members to hold a child, to babysit a child or feed a child. These kids grew up very shy, they are ill at ease around people and don't have good social skills even as adults. When it came to raising the grandkids the same pattern evolved. When the children had to go to the doctor, it was a total nightmare, when the mom had to go to the doctor the same. I went with the mom once to stay with the child in the waiting room. The screams were blood curdling. When the first grand child had to go to kindergarten the first week the grandpa stayed. The little tyke would play only with one arm hanging on to grandpa's leg. The separation anxiety was traumatic for the child. I am sure you are a wonderful mom but no longer one with the baby. The little baby is an individual in his/her own right. Baby needs to explore new smells, new faces, new ways of being held. Babies are so intelligent so full of wonder so eager to learn. In order to develop, spread their wings and fly on their own (eventually) thy need new experiences. Anyway, these are just the thoughts of a loving grandma who sees the baby once in a while and enjoys her to bits.

Yes it is always hard to hand over our baby to anyone else even for sometime but my suggestion is always give your baby to those who knows how to handle a baby and to those whom you know very well and try to avoid those whom you have hardly know for sometimes.

If it's family, then it's usually no problem. I don't like when they won't let ME hold him though (like when he's crying and obviously wants me to comfort him). But, if a total stranger wants to, I'm gonna say NO. My son is my world and I'm sorry, but if I don't know you, I'm not gonna hand over my world to you.

It is understandable how you feel when your baby is entrusted in someone else's care, but in this case, she is someone related and close to you, so you should not feel this way. After all, the environment is also safe, and while your baby may not be so familiar with her step grandmother, it is a good chance for her to develop some bonds with your step mother-in-law. You never know, such things like having your baby in her company can also help enhance your own relationship with her and keep it going well.

This must be your first baby, i am guessing. I was kind of like that too. Ease up. These are people you know and trust.You need little breaks too, mom. Also it is good for the baby to get to know people and learn to be a bit sociable. If you don't let her get to know other people then it will be horrible for you when the time comes when you absolutely do need a sitter. The lady you are feeling guilty about is your child's step-grandmother. Don't you think it is a good idea for them to bond? she is after all going to be a part of your child's life. Now when it comes to complete strangers...I never had a problem not handing my child over but oh my...friends and family...do it. It is good for everyone.

I would definetly say no if they are strangers! But if I know them very well then I would say yes, Again its difending on my baby 's mood. If they are from our family then nothing to worry! they know how to handle, and she is also very comfortable with them.