'Absence makes the heart fonder', is one saying. Do you agree?
By suryachalla
@suryachalla (1369)
India
November 1, 2006 4:23am CST
It is said that absence makes the heart more fond of someone. But remember, there is also another proverb that says that 'out of sight, out of mind'. What do you feel?
9 responses
@Tanya8 (1733)
• Canada
2 Nov 06
I agree in some ways and disagree in others. My husband travels on business quite a lot. When he's gone, we get all romantic and weepy on the phone, and only think about one another's good qualities.
Then the first few days after he gets home, I find myself resenting all the extra laundry, the dishes he leaves out, the way he gets the kids all wired up before bed time .... :).
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
3 Nov 06
tanya8, your candidness is admirable! At the same time, what you said is universally true!!! This happens not only between wife and husband, but also between siblings!!! when my sons meet, they are loving and each one is extremely courteous to the other. They laugh and joke, but only for a couple of hours. Then starts the sibling rivalry!!!
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
3 Nov 06
dear tanya8 your candidness is admirable! The feeling you experience is universal, dont worry!!! Most of us feel the same way with our loved ones. We hug and kiss and give gifts for a few hours after we meet, and then we start quarrelling and even fighting! This is true even for siblings! My own two sons are reminders of it!
@Mommamea (1215)
• United States
4 Nov 06
I have to say with my husband having been deployed many times with the Marine Corps I know the Absence make the heart grow fonder. I would ache to see him and to be back spending time with us. As for out of sight out of mind. Never did my mind wonder from him. In every thing my children and I did we also thought of how it would be even better if daddy was here. When he would return it was always a house filled with more love and laughter. We dreaded the chance that he would have to leave again. I would have to say when it is true love you share the saying the absence makes the heart grow fonder, because just because the one you love is out of sight your mind should always be on the one you love. And by the way my husband just retired a year ago after 20 years in the Corps and we have 4 beautiful children and have been married 20 yrs and we are more in love today than ever.
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
4 Nov 06
Great! Now that your husband is always with you, you should be grateful that the house feels full and lively. Congrats for your family. Are all your kids married, mommamea?
@vicele (328)
• Kenya
3 Nov 06
I agree.there are times when you are with some one for a long time you et used to each oth so much thateverything you do together is a routine and it gets boring ,but when you separate for a few days you find youself misiing that person cause you are used to him/her being around.
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
4 Nov 06
Yes, the reverse is also true! But,doesn't that show that we are basically selfish? Do we need that person as a sort of background/backdrop?
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
4 Nov 06
take it easy!! Youre on MyLot and I am sure this is the best and friendliest place youve got! Be free to tell your loss. No one will take advantage of your openness! It will in fact make you feel lighter!
@xxclairexxj (590)
•
4 Nov 06
My long term boyfriend was a long distance lorry driver for two years. He would be away 6 days at a time then be home for an afternoon then go away again. I missed him so so much but I think the mind almost tries to make you forget so it doesn't hurt so much. It really put a strain on our relationship. We were fine for the two years but at the end of it we found it was just causing arguments. He is driving lorries more locally now and is home every night. Although we argue a bit more, it's only usually jokingly now! I think the heart may grow fonder, but the mind tries to make you forget.
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
4 Nov 06
Dear Claire, its probably because the subconscious mind takes precautionary measures to prevent you from getting upset if the person is gone! Or should I say, the subconscious mentally prepares you for the loss of the person, and therefore you feel as if you dont want to feel too much about him.
@gayathrikannan86 (11)
• India
4 Nov 06
its true absence makes the heart fonder but that absence is only to a certain extent. ur absence shud make sumone miss u not make them to learn to live without u!!!
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
4 Nov 06
I agree that someone should miss your presence in life, but why should they not learn to live without you?? I think they should definitely learn to live without you, but should also keep missing you! Because, if they cant learn to live without you, you havent done any service to them!
@oriental (1050)
• Uruguay
2 Nov 06
I think both sayings can be right. When you really love somebody or something, absence of the person or thing makes you feel stronger about the subject. If the feeling is not strong, the other saying is the right one: out of sight, out of mind.
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
4 Nov 06
Right,oriental! Both can be right. In the present day scenario, particularly in big cities, life is more transient, with less stronger bonds than there used to be.
@shanmukutti (69)
• India
2 Nov 06
the first one is true till certain period of time and then...the second follows.
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
3 Nov 06
dear mr.shanmukutty, youve shown a deep insight into human nature!! I appreciate the validity as well the humour of what you say!
@usmcsgtwife (4997)
• United States
2 Nov 06
yes I agree 100%/ Absence makes the heart grow fonder, my husband and I have been a part one time for a whole year, I had my daughter without him and when I saw him again I loved him more then when he first left
@suryachalla (1369)
• India
3 Nov 06
Your attachment to your husband is admirable! Nowadays, the latter view (out of sight,out of mind) is more common! Your attachment will give you the strength to go through any kind of crisis!
