Are you a cheater?

I think many of those who do it don't put themselves in the other person's shoes and that is why they continue to do it. They don't look at the hurt or disappointment that it can cause. As you said if you truly love someone then you should be faithful and even if you did not love them if you do the right thing by them, then I think good karma will come your way.

Well said. I totally agree with you. :-)

Thanks I know how much it can really hurt someone inside. I know the ones that are not really hurt are the ones that really probably are cheating themselves and really just don't care about the person at all. Otherwise they would feel bad and they would do the right thing by them.

It sounds like you did something that you feel bad about but you remained faithful to your partner so that is what really matters but if the other behavior is a problem and you have corrected it then you should not have any more problems. Flirting can be a dangerous game too because you can lead others on that way and on top of that it may lead to other things eventually without people really thinking about it. It is good that you look inside the relationship for answers not outside.

Thank you so much.. (for the well wishes!) It seems as thought ya hear all the time what a big chore.. or big bore it must be to be with the same person for a long time.. I'm always shocked and shake my head.. I hope you find (or have!) a wonderful relationship that lasts a lifetime, and gets better and better.. part of the key is to put the other first.. If both partners are putting their self first, there's bound to be trouble.. But if you put each other's concerns before your own.. how can it go wrong? Also there's a lot to be said for that famous saying, the secret to happiness is to be happy with how things are.. it's so human to never really be happy, always thinking things should be different, you should have more, be more, do more.. etc, etc, but we can actually choose happiness! (Each day.) -thanks for best response!

I am so happy for you both and actually that is the kind of relationship I would want too. One that is so ever lasting and getting better with time. I really like hearing about success stories like that, it really does make me happy and make me believe that there are decent people out there that love each other and that can make it work. I totally agree with you on the whole thing about getting bored and looking for answers within the relationship and not outside. When you look for answers outside the relationship then you really are creating problems for yourself and it can be quite hurtful too. I like that you can keep creating a great experience for yourself and the relationship keeps getting better and like you said more and more comfortable. I really congratulate you for being together for so long, I hope you spend many more happy years together.

I know what you mean. We can not have it all, but we can do our best to try and be happy with what we are blessed with. Sometimes time is all we need to make things happen but we also create chances for ourselves to be happy. It is so true that we are sometimes just not looking at the right perspective and always at more. I do think we can create our own experiences with the ones we love the most if that person is as open as you are. I think it to be quite precious that way. Sometimes it is just space that one may need from a person just to be able to feel that feeling of missing them which is nice now and then. I don't get bored real easy with my partner but I think it is nice to be apart now and then just so we can miss each other more. Your welcome about your response by the way it was what I was looking for.

Perhaps it is because the ones who have cheated simply have not come on to respond yet? I do not know but not every single person resorts to cheating and there are people who try to work things out inside their relationship and some people simply don't do it because they can not live with themselves if they hurt the one they are in love with if that person should ever find out because most people do try to hide it from their partner. Perhaps now you have opened the door for others to come clean and confess things that have so far been only keeping to themselves.

I think it is a very difficult situation to be in and one should really think about the situation they are in. If it is worth salvaging then perhaps they can just try to work things out, if there is no hope it is always better to just end it and then you can start fresh with someone new who is also not attached, it is easier that way and no one has to really be hurt by an affair.

Although I can understand when someone is in a confused situation and does not know whether to stay or go because some people think with their hearts but their heads tell them that it could be wrong to pursue it. Either way that person should take some time to make a decision because otherwise someone else's feelings will be hurt. It is not really fair on the person waiting around too thinking they are the centre of your world when clearly they are not.

Yes, you are right.

Yes that is very unfair, if you can not stand it if that person were to do it to you then you should not do it to them and if the love is simply not there the there should be an end to the union. No one like to be hurting but the pain of being cheated on could be a lot worse. I think it is important to assess the situation first before anything like that ever happens and if you really love the person, then is it really worth risking your relationship over it? Some people do it and then they think and regret it later but by that time their relationship is in tatters. I think to have a simple affair when you are already in love with someone else is too much work and pain.

Yes I can understand if they just need some time apart or something like that but I don't think it is right to cheat on the person. If you truly love them you will try to find solution inside the relationship and not outside but if one solution can not be found then it is probably best if it ends because there are people out there who want the same things and then there are others who want different things even though they love each other. I think if someone does not want to be serious with the other then they should just let that person know at least where they stand in the whole thing.

That is so true the pain is really bad and if you love the person with all your heart that is when it hearts the most. It is unfair on the other person too, they deserve to be happy too especially if all they do is work really hard to keep the relationship good and make you happy in the whole process. That feeling is really bad and can cause so many tears and deep pain for the person that truly cares and loves you. They want someone to trust too. I am sure I would want to be with someone I can trust.