husband's ex-wives

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how do you deal with a vindictive ex-wife that is so into that state of mind that it is runs off unto the children ? every since she has found out me and my husband now was engaged she has become a very evil person, example: taking children to emergancy room for simple things a dr. office can treat and putting all medical bills from er in my husbands name, if she took them to a dr. office she could not put them in my husbands name, reminder my husband carries full coverage health insurance on 3 children a total of 5,000 a year,that leaves the ex-wife with only 20% of the bill to pay. he also pays child support of 7,000 plus a year for his children. she is in contempt to court on multiple violations, by disobeying court orders, and is a full-time plus lpn, and says she can not afford to pay for these bills. i could give multiple examples on how his ex-wife acts and her actions, she is now withholding his children from him on his visitations, he has seen his children 1 time in 4 months, last time the children were here at our home they were very mean an nasty to there dad , they treat him with no respect and refuse to obey the boundaries that we have in our home, they speak fowl language and tell lies about everything, when i cook dinners we have a hard time getting them to eat because at there mothers they eat out all the time there is no home cooked meals, so the children expect the same at our home. these boys are only 14, 11, 7, and do not appreciate what there dad does for them , is this because the mother has some severe issues about there dad moving on with his life, me and my husband are very happy and well grounded in the lord , considering the circumstances that are being thrown at us. any body have any suggestions that could help us ?