He Doesn't Deserve It But.........
By Sparks
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
Regina, Saskatchewan
April 22, 2008 11:31am CST
In a few days, it's my soon to be ex's birthday.
As he won't move out of the house, I feel I should acknowledge his birthday in some way, yet still make the point of how I feel.
I have no money, no access to any, but I have tons of construction paper and a shoe box.
So here's my idea, and I need help with it.
I want to fill the shoe box with gifts. Each one written, drawn and cut out of construction paper and put in the box.
Now follow my line of thought here closely folks. These are my initial ideas, and I need you all to provide me with more.
1. Duct Tape
2. Heavy Metal Chains
3. Several Concrete Blocks
Now these would be great for a nice long underwater adventure.
Get the picture?
What would you suggest for other 'adventures'?
11 people like this
12 responses
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
22 Apr 08
I think that you should blindfold him. Take him by the hand outside, say to a plot of land nearby. Sit him down on a pre-positioned chair. Maybe tease him that you are just going to tie him to the chair too. Then play your recording of "Sorry, I'm not going to build here. I am too selfish" very loudly and let the citizens of your town do their worst. Photographs and videos will help commemorate what for him, will be a most memorable birthday.
5 people like this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
23 Apr 08
I like it P1key, but with an additional twist. I would have a grave already dug in front of him when you take the blindfold off for a really good effect.
hee hee.
He'll soon settle up with her and leave for fear she may just follow through with the threat.
2 people like this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
23 Apr 08
And it is a lot quicker to fill in a hole than to dig one. So fill it in quickly after he calls the police again, before they get there.
It is just a garden plot. You will surely have the seeds all ready to plant after working up the ground for planting. hee hee.
2 people like this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
22 Apr 08
got some rubber cement on hand. LOL!! Let me know what you need. LOL!!!
5 people like this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
24 Apr 08
yeah let's see where we can put that rubber cement. It can make someone most uncomfortable. LOL!!!I think that would be funny. LOL!!!
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
Hey Bella, you will be the first to know, you betcha! LOL
Rubber cement huh? Oh the possibilities...............lol
2 people like this
@union6 (326)
•
22 Apr 08
ok when it comes to this kinda thing im a bit of an expert ;p lol ok first tell me a bit about him ie. if he has any fear of anything, or does he have some kind of rutine, does he use plans? anything like that and i will try and come up with somthing you could do
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Apr 08
Well according to him he's not afraid of anything, he drives a fuel truck, his routine is drive, eat, sleep, or drive, sleep, eat, he doesn't use plans and his biggest beef is women with kids. Not an easy man at all to please.*sigh*
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
Wow union. You don't mess around when you've got a hate on for someone, do you? LOL I'm learning a lot with this thread. ROFL Good suggestions, I'll keep them in mind.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Apr 08
okay how is this a beehive with african bees in it. they are the really vicious ones who would rather sting you than look at you and I guess a bee veil in case the stinging got too bad. it would make for a hot stinging birthday party and the bees would make him dance around the room for sure. Each one would sort of pay him back for what he has put you through. hope this helps with your birthday ideas. maybe make that two beehives for good measure.
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
Oh Hatley, this is priceless. He does love his fresh honey! I could tell him he can now make his own, and 'accidently' let the bees loose. It's been forever since I've seen him dance! ROFL And bees never bother me for some reason, so it would be doable and really funny to watch! Thanks for a great idea.
2 people like this
@sherrylwatts (326)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I can contribute the duct tape - hubby has tons of it - 
! Perhaps you should download the Dixie Chicks song about Earl for ideas - 
.
! Perhaps you should download the Dixie Chicks song about Earl for ideas - .4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Apr 08
I have that CD! Maybe I should put it in the box too with a note attached that says, "My special gift and wish for you"? LOL
4 people like this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
Yeah, don't put anything like that in writing. Nope, keep it more subtle.
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Ok Spark, since you want him to know how you feel, how bout a sheriff's badge, hand cuffs, and a baton?? From what I know, he's pretty much handled your relationship as a prison, so that would fit....maybe jail bars or something like that...hey, a cake with a file in it.
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
I do have a sheriff's badge, nova will surely give me the handcuffs, and a Louisville slugger can substitue for a baton, and those black and white striped sheets I just put on the bed...............hmmmmmmmm, I think you've solved the gift problem edgy. Thanks.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
Great take on the situation edgy. And I have all those things and black and white striped sheets too! LOL He could be in for a very intersting night!
2 people like this
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
22 Apr 08
How about a picture of a box of rat poison? Lead shoes and an anchor? Hehehe, I love your ideas, how funny, you gave me a good giggle today lol.
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
I like you're idea of lead shoes and an achor. LOL
2 people like this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
23 Apr 08
Many years ago I had occasion to go for a little bit of payback and here's what I did.
I made a lovely chocolate layer cake. The sponge was laced with laxative, as was the chocolate icing. I took this to my ex with a little note saying that I remembered how much he loved chocolate cake (he was a pig for it to be honest) and while he was putting the cake in the kitchen I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. I removed every single piece of toilet paper from the place, and made my escape.
A friend told me that he was decidedly *uncomfortable* that afternoon 
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
This is lovely. He's got a big sweet tooth. I'm making cakes all the time for his lunches and such, so this will go over well. And he drived long haul, with no chance of getting to a bathroom on time, and how delicious for me to think of him 'squatting and NOT giggling" on the side of the road! ROFL
2 people like this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
23 Apr 08
ROFL LMAO!!
OMG! I love it, I love it.
He would be 'decidedly uncomfortable whilst driving his truck on a long haul. lol
Yep, just hilarious!
Is he big on sweets, I forget?
2 people like this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
I don't know if I can top those. I really like Nova's and edgy's the very, very best.
I like the prisoner idea since he has been so much the warden. Do you have a printer so I can send you something?
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
Why does everyone want to know if I have a printer? LOL
Yes I do. And I wish I could I divide my best response among about four people including the ones you mentioned! LOL
2 people like this
@listenandlearn (94)
• United States
23 Apr 08
Parade all afternoon in new lingerie and have a surprise date pick you up for a dinner date--and don't change.
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
He's locked my lingerie away alas!*pout*. Can you recommend someone willing to be my surprise date? Everyone here is over 70! LOL
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Apr 08
What a great idea. I have all my grandmother's doilies just sitting in a drawer!
She wasn't too fond of her own hubby, so I'm sure she wouldn't object to them being put to such a use. LOL
1 person likes this
@listenandlearn (94)
• United States
23 Apr 08
You could make some new out of a couple of doyleys. It's embarrassing how little it takes to put them a'slobber.
2 people like this
