Jokes

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts! Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A: He was chicken! Q: Why DID the chicken cross the road? A: He wanted to see poultry in motion!

All contents that appear in this msg are purely illustrative & does not have any intention to hurt the feelings of anybody. "INDIA WON THE WORLD CUP 2007"

During the silver anniversary a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, i was so overwhelmed that i didnt talk for an hour? "The hubby replied: :yes, honey, that was happiest hour of my life."

A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice" 13.........13.......13........13" the man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked throgh the hole and gets pooked in the eye. The morning voice then groaned "14...14.....14......14"

a sardar eat 8 naan in a party & suffering from qubz, praying & crying in bathroom, ya to jaan nikal de, ya naan nikal de.

hahaha

the easiest thing to cease is cigrattes i have cease it thousands of times lol

A popular airline recently introduced a special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great feedback the company sent out letters to all the wives of business man who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking "What trip?"

A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wago. The boy has his dog pulling it with a rope attached to the dog balls . The man says, you know if you tied it around his neck it would go faster, The boy replies, i know but then i would not get the cool siren

A women in brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First she wanted to be cremeated and second she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales. Why Bloomingdales? asked the rabbi "Then i will be sure my daughters visit me twice a week"

Two womens that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smater....first women, my dog is so smart every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second women "I know...." First women "How?..." second women: "my dog told me"

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. he spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes. Towards the end of class the teacher asked his students "Suppose i asked you to meet for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...." A student voice broke the confused silence and volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating aloe, sir."

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said we have an opening for people like you "Oh great, he said, What is it?" "Its called the door!"

The patient says, give me the bad news first! doctor replies, you have got AIDS Oh, no! what could be worse than that? "asks the patient" You have also got Alzheimers Diseases looking relieved the patient says, Oh..Well thats not so bad. Atleast dont have AIDS.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mather. The mom says "Now billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow. Your wish will come true!". Billy says, "OK mommy and goes to sleep. The next morning billy wakes up and screams Mommy! I am still blin, my wish did not come true!, the mom answered, i know - April Fools!"

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar and orders a double maritini on the rocks. After he finishes the dirnk he peeks inside his shirt pocket then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it , he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, look buddy, i will bring ya martins all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill. The customer replies, "i m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know its time to go home"

The amazing golf ball a golfer playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasylittle salesman runs up to him and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, Ihave something really amazing to show you!" The golfer annoyed, says, What is it? "It is special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "No problem, " says the salesman."It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it." "well what if you hit it into the woods?" "Easy." says the salesman."It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed." "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?" "No problem, sir, this golf ball g;ows in the dark! Im tellingyou, you can never lose this golf ball" The golfer buys it at once, "just one question," he says to the salesman "Where did you get it" "I found it"

You are back again? The judge said to the defendant "I thought i told you i never wanted to see you in here again" "Your honor," the criminal said, "thats what i tried to tell the police, but they would not listen."

Stupid people awards It is once again time to vote for the Drawn Award Nominees fro 1997. As you may already know, the drawin awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully). MOMINEE No. 2 [Kalamazoo Gaza=ette] james burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich, was killed in march as he was trying to repair that police described as a "farm-type trunk." Burns got a friend to drive the trunk on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft"

real newspaper headlines These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the United States and world. With the exception of victimless crimes (which need not concern us here) every single crime committed in this nation of ours involves a victim. A purple lady's bicycle was missing from Serendipity Lane recently. Chairman buildings asked Board members to muster support from parent-teacher groups to support the governor' task force on driving while intoxicated. He hasnot even had his day in court yet, but simon wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated. Montreal police dont hesitate to use whatever laws, regulations or perssuasion they feel they need to control morality in the city and prevent it from getting a foothold. Acollege friendship that began a year ago in matrimony yeaterday