How can I get over my fear of public speaking?

@liquorice (3887)
April 22, 2008 5:51pm CST
I have a crippling and irrational fear of speaking in front of lots of people. The value of 'lots' varies depending on my mood, but sometimes it can be as little as three or four people. I am generally a shy person although I've got much more confident over the years in a one-to-one situation. However when I have to talk in front of a group (for instance when I'm on a training course), I forget what I want to say, get all clammy, my voice goes kind of tense, I feel like all the blood is rushing to my head and I get a really bad head-ache. I'd love to overcome this soon as one day I'd really like to be able to teach, and this is the one thing stopping me. Does this happen to anyone else? Has anybody got any tips that might help me?
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5 responses
• India
23 Apr 08
well first of all practice a lot in front of the mirror , be confident and imagine that there is noone in front of u when u speak infront of an audience .
@liquorice (3887)
23 Apr 08
Thanks for your reply. I guess that would be a good starting place. I kind of already try to imagine that there's nobody there when I speak in front of people, but that doesn't really work for me as I end up not making proper eye contact or connecting properly with the audience. I'm sure this works for some people though, and I'll try the mirror suggestion.
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@okwusman1 (2247)
• Abuja, Nigeria
23 Apr 08
Many people are afraid to speak in public. but there are books that can help you deal with such situation. the book is titled public speaking i think there is one written by john carson. it will give you guidelines on how to comport yourself in public, how to raise you heads, how to look the audience, when to start and when not to start and all that. get the book and study it.
@liquorice (3887)
23 Apr 08
Thanks for your reply and your suggestion. I'll look up the book you recommended, I need all the tips I can get! I'd be really interested to know have you or somebody that you know had success with this book?
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@deeeky (3667)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
26 Apr 08
If you know your subject well and can answer any questions thrown at you speaking in public will be no problem. You can treat the situation as though you are only speaking to one person only then that way tou will not be overwhelmed. Have a great day from Deeeky.
@liquorice (3887)
26 Apr 08
Yes, "fail to prepare, prepare to fail", that's always good advice. I'm currently still at the stage where even if I prepare things really well, the nerves often make my mind go completely blank! Maybe I'm a hopeless case!! But I agree that knowing your subject helps you a great deal to feel more prepared and less overwhelmed. I like the advice about talking as if it's to just one person. I think that would make me feel more focused. Thanks a lot for your reply.
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@sissy15 (12290)
• United States
4 May 08
I used to be terrified of public speaking, and I still hate it, but I have overcome it a lot, I put myself in the position where I had to do it more like joining a drama class, and I eventually got used to it, but some other things that helped me were looking over peoples heads making it look like I was looking at them without actually looking at them. Note cards may work for remembering what you have to say. Just don't stay focused on them. It's a hard fear to overcome, and you may never fully overcome it, I haven't, but it does get easier. Deep breathing helps too, it kind of helps get rid of some of the nervous energy. I also learned that if I had to do something like a presentation when I was in HS I would go like third to get it out of the way, but not first because I wanted an idea of what other people were doing. Also giving yourself a pep talk kind of helps like saying it will be ok, and stay positive. Making yourself have a positive attitude towards it can help too, none of my suggestions may be easy, but they helped me. Hope it helps.
@sissy15 (12290)
• United States
4 May 08
Yeah, it took a lot for me to get myself to join the class, but it really helped. I hope you are able to stay positive, it just takes some practice, but it is very doable, and I hope any further public speaking experiences I have are positive too lol, I haven't done it in awhile, so if I have some I'll be a bit rusty, but at least the idea of one isn't making me freak out, which before just thinking about it I'd be in a panic. Well Stay positive, and I think you'll be ok.
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
Thanks, those are really useful suggestions. I think it was a good idea of yours to join a drama class, and very brave if you were so terrified before. It's really good to know that had this fear too and have been able to get over it, (or at least move from terrified to hating it!), that's encouraging for me. You're so right about the pep talk and positive attitude. I think one of the main problems with me is that I always work myself up into such a frenzy about the thought of it that by the time it comes to doing the talk I'm in a really negative place and that inevitably makes the talk go badly. Must try and stay positive!! I hope you carry on having lots of positive public speaking experiences!
26 Apr 08
Try practicing in front of a friend or family member. They will be able to help with constructive advice if you have any mannerisms, or if you talk to fast or too slow etc. And practice / preparation is really one of the most important aspects of public speaking. It is also a good idea to make eye contact with one or two individuals in the group from time to time. Say a whole sentence to that person as though you are only communicating with them. I don't enjoy public speaking, but when it happens I have to tell myself that "I can do this, I have done it before, I can do it again". Good luck, I hope you can overcome your nerves. :)
2 May 08
Was browsing through my "responded to" discussions and came across this one. Wondered how you were getting on. Hope that you have made a start with conquering your nerves, and practicing your stuff. Take care.
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
Hi, I haven't had a chance to use all this advice yet. I'm asking about it because I'm thinking of doing a teaching course which starts in September, but the thought of having to speak in front of lots of people is one of the things that I need to sort out! There are other issues to consider like childcare, but his one is also a biggie. I don't think that I'll let this fear put me off as it's something I've been wanting to do for a long time, and I'll try to use all the tips that people are giving me. Thanks for your interest, I'll let you know what happens :)
@liquorice (3887)
26 Apr 08
Thanks, that's a really good idea, I can think of a few people I know who would give really good advice so I might try it out. I always wonder how to handle eye contact, it's hard to know how many people to single out with when there's a large group. I think choosing one or two is probably a good suggestion; usually I just sort of skim across people as I try to look at everybody(!!) and that must look really weird.. I can see how sticking with the same person for the whole sentence might work better! I'm glad I'm not the only one, and it's good that you've found a way of overcoming it. I'll have to develop a convincing pep talk for myself! Thanks :o)
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