I've been trying to figure out if it's love or interest!

Puerto Rico
April 24, 2008 10:02pm CST
My brother is a solider and had a accident his recently going in to surgery, but known of our family members could be with him cause we have kids or jobs which don't let us be with him. His been in the hospital for more than 9 months and with rehabilitation due to he lost a leg. During the first months my dad, mom brothers and even me went to see him, I also had a cousin which stood with him for a while. But he has this girlfriend that never could be with him we all got together for Christmas she said she couldn't travel cause her parents wouldn't let her but he recently came down here and she was with him up to 3:00am she says she loves him alot, but when it comes to the point of been with him when he most needs her she says she can't cause she can't leave her studies she is the University. I told her but just go for a week cause is going to be a little hard for him, and she say no I can't. This girl doesn't work she says she doesn't ask her parents for anything but she has cellphone, get her nails and hair done everytime, which makes me think my brother pays for all this. It really hurts me be cause me and him are very very close and I wouldn't want her to use him and just through him out afterwards. But I wouldn't even there to tell him nothing, I wanted to confront her but my husband told me not to that their are other ways to figure out what she really wants or if she really loves him. What should I do!
1 response
lvaldean
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
25 Apr 08
I hate to tell you something that you likely will not want to hear. I know that you love your brother...but you have to step back from this one. He is a grown man and will have to sort this out for himself. If she is a stand up woman and human being then she will step up to being there for him. Thus far it doesn't seem as if she has, but you don't know if there have been phone calls, letters, e-mail or other forms of communication between them. This is there business and ultimately their relationship. However he handles his relationship, it is up to him not you. What you see from the outside may be only part of the story. If he is not complaining to you about her then I would suggest that he is not unhappy with the situation. I know that is hard to hear right now. You want what is best for your brother. Let it lie for now. He needs your support and love. Give that to him and leave the rest for another day.
Latina84
@Latina84 (25)
• Puerto Rico
25 Apr 08
Thanks alot for your comment but to tell you the truth I wouldn't their to tell him anything, cause I love him to much like to make him suffer and I know some day he'll just find out by himself. But their are many reasons which conform what I think and many others think too. 1- was that when he was coming down here she told him not to after awhile bragging him to come 2- he was going to buy her a car (1,000) and she told him no cause she wanted one like his over (16,000) and the thing is this girl doesn't even have a car or her license my brother told her he would buy it for so she can learn how to drive an she said no. And I don't know but if I was in her place I would have said yes to the first car so she can go to to the University and not depend of nobody which is what she does. Anyways like you said and it is what I've been doing supporting him and giving love to him which is what he needs now and what I've been doing and will keep doing. Thanks alot!
lvaldean
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
25 Apr 08
What you are describing is a woman-child. She is likely not much of an adult and even if she truly loves him she is not adult enough to handle what is happening to him. It happens. I am sorry for your brother and his loss. I am sorry for your family and what this is doing to all all of you right now. It sounds to me that you are all doing what you can to support him and be there for him. Believe me he will sort this out for himself. He will come to see who has been there and who has not. She sounds as if she is a selfish and self-serving wench. He will figure this out without your assistance. Take my word for this.