As a child you were...

Wow! such a sweet child. My mom probably wishes she could say the same about me...though she does say I was a very easy child till I was around 10. No trouble at all...but after that I started arguing about everything. It's another thing (which she realizes only now) that I wouldn't go against what my parents' said.....but I would argue and try to prove my point in everything.

Oh yes, that was quite a phase! Even I went through that. Actually I was talking about an earlier phase. And I think that was quite nightmarish for ppl around for I was very introvert, am still is. When my sister would blabber everything and anything I would just keep mum and my mother would have trying times in getting things out of me.

hmmm..I had phases for that too....one time I was very quiet and into my books all the time...one time I was so talkative they had to ask me to shut up...or specifically ask me NOT to mention this to anyone (I have to do that with my son now!) The arguing was mostly when I was a teenager and was with my mother (dad was in a different country working then)...I get along better with my dad because he tends to LISTEN a lot more than my mother. But now that I am a mother myself, I understand how my mother felt having to cope with so many things...AND me arguing for each and everything! It didn't help that my sister never argued (another story altogether that she just went out and did what she wanted to do....no waiting for permission..lol....while I always wanted approval even when I argued)

I can understand...and am so sorry that you had to go through what you did. I was sexually abused since I was around 10...and it took me 5 years to muster the courage to tell someone I hardly knew (who thankfully told my dad)...but there are still more cases that are still in the closet...and it's only after I was in my mid 20s that I understood one of the reasons for my acting out was that. lol..having friends got me into a lot of trouble too (mostly at school)..I was a scape goat most of the time.

childhood is not something i look back on happily, it hurt a lot. Yet it made me a determined adult and the best mum i can be to my kids blessed be

Yet it made me a determined adult and the best mum i can be to my kids Ya me too..I think the ONLY good thing I got from my parents was how NOT to be a parent!

The earlier part of your childhood sounds pretty much like mine...except my parents didn't separate...they moved back to India...and no one figured that it would be a major change for me (everything)! I can't say I have a great relationship with my family...but I got closer to my dad in my early twenties...and I guess that was a good thing. And I'm a very different person now...learnt a lot from all my experiences.

Exactly!

Whatever doesn't kill us only makes us stronger right? lol. Something like that!

lol..I was rebellious because I thought my little sister was getting away with everything! I guess each child has their own set of problems. I've changed a lot since I was a child...at a point I was a brat. I've gone through so many transformations to be the person that I am...that I can write a book on it. When I think back, I can't believe the kind of child that I was....no one who knows me will believe me if I told them what kind of a child I was (my husband wouldn't believe me!)

Well, it's good you have transformed into a better person. Why don't you try to play with your life and write down about it. I'm sure each of us has a story to tell. My second eldest sister was known to be a spoiled and rebellious prat because she grew up with our grandma. But now she has changed a lot too.

I'll probably get down to writing a short story on my life when the kids are a little older. By brat I didn't mean the tantrum throwing kind (though I would be argumentative with my mother when I was a teen), more of a snob because I didn't know any better...and the luxurious lifestyle was the only one I knew till we moved to India. Now, I know why I did the things I did....no one else (not even my parents) would...but I'm glad...because those experiences helped me be the person I now am...and I've learnt to appreciate a lot of things in life.

Thanks Apsara! I'm sorry Apsara, I didn't know you lost your mother when you were so young. I remember most fathers in India being like yours. And most children being that way too (my father used to tell me the same). Glad you grew up to be confident and able to stand up for yourself.

Thank you SV and cupid for your sympathetic words , they do make me happy and I know my dear friends are always there fro me.........but as I told you , things are better now.......at least I had my father, my home, my brothers and specially my grandmother who brought us up.........some are even more unlucky .......lets not talk about them, but just pray.......

Hi apsara Really sad to hear about ur mom and sure Mom is shelter for kids , specially in our area And particularly, girls are more attached to mothers I can imagine that u might not have good memories but i am glad that u gre up confidenrt girl Wish u all the best dear

Now, you'll need to enlighten me on that one. I've heard of the Addams Family....do you mean one of the kids?:)

hmmm...strange child? Now that is subjective, isn't it? I'm sure the rest of my relatives thought the same about me!

Yes. I was a strange child. I don't think I ever grew out of that.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know how it feels. I went through the same myself. But I started acting out....and don't remember going through depression. But I remember being scared of people coming close to me....but never telling anyone about it. I still do not like people standing physically close to me...one reason why I hate travelling in crowded public transport. But my experiences have made me tougher (it took some years for me to get over and move on)...and hope you have moved on too. God bless!

I'm more like Raven....withdrawn. Though I have friends...I don't really open up easily to people.

my depression has been with me since my childhood but I was a crybaby instead I was quite withdrawn...in fact holding things in and not going to ppl for advice, help or to lean on etc STARTED when I was a kid and just got more intense the older I got... crybaby....such a horrible word isnt it..

A very outdoor person!

yup I am and I garden too lol

I wasn't shy...but as usual I meant something and said something else. I didn't mean a brat as the throwing tantrum kind. I was so used to the luxuries of life..that I didn't know any different....so when we moved countries, it was too much of a shock to me. Now I know it was a little bit of snobbish behaviour (but no one had prepared me)....though my friends then said I was a 'brat' (the vocabulary of a 11 year old around 20 years back).

I used to love to read and wouldn't give much trouble to my parents. I wasn't a brat in the sense of throwing a tantrum(never did that...but would argue a lot when I was a teenager)...but I did take the luxuries I had as a child for granted and found it hard to adjust when we moved to India when I was in 6th grade. The kids in class thought I was a snob then ('brat' was a term they used then for lack of a better word....but they helped me change within a year).

Oh yes, we all grow as people. I've changed so much through my experiences. I'm a totally different person now and still growing and changing. I used to argue a lot too....but that has come down a lot. And I learnt to appreciate a lot of things I took for granted when I started living alone.

As the saying goes: You dont realize the importance of a thing unless you lose it.. So we do learn from our experiences when we become independent and start living by ourselves.

lol..no one would say I was a quiet child...and I didn't think it was bad...till I had my first son and he started to talk!! How I wish he would stop....now I know how my parents felt when I was a child:P But on the whole I was obedient....and very rebellious as a teenager ..especially with my mother....I wouldn't dare talk back to my dad.

Well, I wasn't a tantrum throwing brat....I just took the luxuries I had grown up with in Kuwait for granted and had a hard time when I moved to India when I was 11. I also remember telling little lies (which I now know everyone saw through...but then I thought I was pretty smart!)after my sister was born to get attention. I was fine with a group of kids or on my own and I'm sure that's why my parents never bothered about me...because they thought I could take care of myself. But I did feel left out...I can see that in my older son too...when the younger one was born, he suddenly wanted the attention he didn't want before that. Because I had gone through the same thing, I could understand and help him. I was a rebellious teenager too (by Indian standards)...lol...I used to argue with my mother all the time....but I ended up doing everything she told me to do even though I would argue about the opposite...lol Wow! You've been alone since 16? Great! I was still a child then (though I was a little mature in my thoughts for my age...I don't think I was that independant)

It's so nice to hear that something good came out of that situation. Most 16 year olds would have quit school and moped around. You didn't and you went ahead...had the baby...and grew up and became the person you are today. It's usually when you have hardships you know how strong you are and you proved your strength. I fnd myself being strong especially when I'm going through a rough phase. something in common, eh?

Yes I used to feel left out too, I was the oldest by 18 months. My sister always got away with everything, lol, and she seemed to get alot of the attention too. I also told a few little white lies growing up aswell, I think that is quite common for alot of kids. I was quite independent at 16 years old, that is also because I had to grow up quick. Don't think I have mentioned it yet, but I became pregnant at 16 years, last year of school. I did the right thing and finished school. Had my daughter in February the next year after I finished school. She made me the person I am today, very determined and never give up on anything.

Some of those I can relate to...playing with gay abandon...no pressures of anything. I don't remember being really stubborn till after I was 10 (long story that one.....I now realize why I did it...but no one understood then). I would question a lot of things too....but not about treating each other because it was just our small family till I was 10. But I remember changing drastically after I was 10...lots of different things happened and it was too much for me to handle as a child....and I wouldn't my child going through that!

I guess it was the circumstances...and in my generation, parents really didn't think that bad things could happen to their kids....and also there were different aspects that were given more importance...than how a child felt.

Sorry that you had to go through that... wishing now that all children are protected from the things that are too much for them to handle and that all children are given the comfort, the tenderness and the love that they need.

I thought people are supposed to talk to everyone and not to sit back.

Talking to everyone can sometimes backfire on you. My son's very social and I'm always worried he'll give out information he's not supposed to....or get kidnapped or something scary like that.

Doesn't sound like a bad thing you need to grow out of.

Sounds like the perfect child any mother would want to have:)

Should ask us moms! Or maybe your mom:)

Well,I don't know about the perfect part...lol!!

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's easy to blame things on our circumstances instead of trying to correct them.

You are right but that is what I'm trying to do for myself after a long time.

Seems like you continued being the same way...lol

Well, yeah u can say so and the age u r refering after 10 i was in publuc school Hostel, and they knew how to control kids Lol Take care

You are so right about that. I was just talking to someone the other day and said that I now understand what my mother felt...the only difference is that we react differently to it...the underlying sentiments are the same....and honestly I would react the same way she did if I didn't stop myself and think how I would have wanted to be treated at that age.

lol...Karma for sure. I'm not sure what mine is. Both my kids are the opposite...I had it very easy with one and the other is giving me a hard time.

Kids will be kids! lol. We don't really appreciate the efforts our parents made until we are parents ourselves.

The environment changed you? Or situations and experiences?