My mother is strict!
@zhongmingyunky (379)
China
April 27, 2008 12:30am CST
I have a very atrict my mother.
She managed all of my things,sometimes i feel very angry,i have grow up ,i need my freedom and space,i hope she can point to me relax.
She was "times new roman",she would repeat some of the thins said to me many times,in fact,these things i have already know.
I would like to tell her that i have grown up,i have my way of thing,i will handle my work.
If you have a mother,how would you do ?
1 response
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
27 Apr 08
From a cultural perspective you have to determine how much your mother can control your life and how much she cannot control your life. If you still live with her then she still has the right to have some control; i.e. she still has the right to rules within her own home.
If you do not live with your mother than this is different she can only tell you what she believes is correct and you listen but still make your own choices.
@zhongmingyunky (379)
• China
27 Apr 08
I have married,had a fat boy,sometimes go to mother's home,but in the eyes of my mother is still child.
I understand when mother's feelings,but sometimes her "times New Roman",i can't afford.
How do i ?
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
27 Apr 08
I went and checked your profile. If you were a Westerner I would tell you to sit her down and lay some ground rules about how you want to be treated. For those of us in the West this isn't that difficult. I think you might have a more difficult time with this one but you can try.
I am not sure I understand the reference to the "times new roman". Maybe you are referring to old fashioned. If this is so then I don't think you will be overcoming this one anytime soon. But maybe you can find a way to incorporate her world view into your discussion. In the West we call this a input sandwitch.
Explain first that you are a grown man with a family of your own. Next tell her that you love and respect her but that you are well past the time that she can direct your life.
Now tell her that her interference is difficult to bear for you and your wife. That she is making it difficult for you to invite to your home because she is making herself unpleasant. That if she does not stop with this you will have no choice but to limit your time with her and her time with her grandson.
Finally explain to her that you will always appreciate her upbringing of you and her efforts to ensure that you are a fine man. Tell her that you desire her to be part of your life and that of your son.
