do you ever feel like its not worth it any more
By foundmyangel
@foundmyangel (607)
United States
April 27, 2008 10:59am CST
have you ever felt like the whole being in love and trying to stay together just isn't worth it any more like you are falling away from each other but you don't want to give up because you love your family? what do you do to make it through feeling this way or do you just give up?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Breath (1297)
• United States
27 Apr 08
This is a hard question for me to answer.I am going through the same thing...I love my husband but I think I ma falling out fo love at the same time.I don't even think he is happy no more.It maeks it hard to just leave or give up when you do have kids you love and try not to hurt...Is it worth giving your happiness and life for just to keep the kids happy...I know kids are the most important part of my life but if they see me and my husband fight all the time and feel the tension thats not good for them either...I am at a cross roads do I stay and try to make it work or just call it a day...I am sorry that you seem to be going through the same thing in your life..It's hard and no easy way out without getting hurt...
@Malyck (3425)
• Australia
27 Apr 08
I agree that it's really hard, if not impossible to solve this one without anyone getting hurt, but I can speak from experience as one of the children witnessing parents who have fallen out of love and no longer desire being together, who fight often, or just don't seem "right".
As hard as it was and has been, I was really relieved at the same time when my parents finally got a divorce. I've regained the good relationship that I had with both of them, because they are no longer unhappy people weighed down by the stresses of the relationship and the worries of the family.
It may not be the case for everyone, but if both parties are unhappy and can't rectify the situation, I think it's best if they can split amicably and continue their lives happily in different places and directions =)
I wish both of you the best of luck with your choices and families.
Mal.
1 person likes this
@foundmyangel (607)
• United States
27 Apr 08
well I was in a marriage before that my two kids were actually happier after the divorce. Believe me kids see what is really going on and it effects them more if you are not happy. They see more than we think they do and understand the difference of a happy family to a unhappy family. The question is is it better for them to live in a happy family or a sad family and what kind of effects will it have on them to watch their parent's live in sadness. It is a hard decision to make but for happiness sometimes you have to make sacrifices. best of luck to you and whatever decision you make I hope works out for you and your family.
@ihearttinytim (614)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Well, being that my firs fiance was an abusive jerk... He proposed (not very romantically, I might add), but I soon got up the courage to leave.
The second guy treated me just "ok" but I still gave more than he did, and brought more to the relationship than he did. His proposal wasn't romantic either.
I'm just tired of not being taken seriously by guys. I'm also tired of all the drama. Also, they seem to have a problem with the fact that I want to "wait" until marriage - even the guys who called themselves Christian!! They're the ones who are supposed to be supportive of that!
Yes, I have given up. I don't want to be engaged; I don't want to be married. Heck, I don't even want to be in a relationship!
@foundmyangel (607)
• United States
28 Apr 08
well i can say this because I have been there and done that. Trust me when i say this when you least expect it and now that you are not looking for it love will find you. It might even find you in the least likely place ever.So even though you may have given up love still exist. Just when you see it don't walk away from it.best of luck to you
@itsmepinky (1300)
• India
27 Apr 08
Ya i am going thru the same phase. I think i am falling out of love very fast. I love my bf but it is his behaviour that gets me on my nerves. We no longer go out for movies , no longer talk on the phone. He is not bothered to call me even if i am sick. I love him but when he doesn't respond it hurts me very badly and i go thru lots of stress just thinking about him. I mean how much does it cost to give a quick call and say hello . Hell he can't even do that much. I think it's high time i say good bye to him.
I feel sorry for you. Take care.
~pinks~
@foundmyangel (607)
• United States
27 Apr 08
if he loved you I mean really loved you then you wouldn't be wondering if he is going to call or show up to see you. The FBI's call that a clue Sorry to be so straight forward but there is no excuse to not stay in contact with the one you really love. I wish you the very best and just make sure it is what you want to do before you make a decision
@AmericanWoman (298)
• United States
27 Apr 08
I wrote a discussion on a loveless marriage and staying together for the children. I am so confused at this point. I have left many times just to come back. to the same old situation. We have no relations he avoids the subject. My children even ask why do I stay. Maybe I am scared to be alone, even tho I am so lonely now. I know it don't make sense. Why do I have to be a chicken? I want him to be happy too. But he cries for me to come back and I am weak at feeling sorry for him. One week later same thing. To tell you the truth its a emotional rollercoaster for all of us. But looking at my self growing old with him, I can't see it. I see couples who love each other and joke and laugh about anything. When I joke he looks at me like a fool. I don't know what to do :(
But I do think my girls are good girls because they had to parents raising them, you know the fear of the father getting mad if they did something wrong. Maybe he is staying in it for his daughter too(the youngest 13 is his) my other two were 2 weeks old and 1 1/2 yrs when we met, now there 17 and 15. My girls are my life. they keep me going.
@foundmyangel (607)
• United States
28 Apr 08
talk to your kids about the situation and you may find that they feel the same way about your relationship. Believe or not kids see more than we think and understand more than we do. if they see you unhappy they know it. So think about talking with them and think of yourself always. Who knows even he might be happier if you all talked about it and brought out the feelings of every one together.
@kezabelle (2974)
•
27 Apr 08
Oh yes a few times, its easy to get dissalusioned with love when times are tough but it shows the stregnth of your love if you battle on through and come out happy the other side.
I love my family and will do anything to keep us together, that doesnt me we dont have hard times and its then thats its easy to wonder is it really worth it, only you can decide if it is or not.
@foundmyangel (607)
• United States
28 Apr 08
so true love is a very strong thing and can out stand the toughest times.Love is something more than any hard time whether it be money or whatever comes your way. thats unconditional.
