Judging people by other's comments

well i can tell you a bit about my story. i left the father of my kids 6months ago. when i was with him my sis and her husband always hung out with us etc. my now ex and my brother in law were pretty good friends. so anyway my now ex was abusive for 4 years, my sis and her hubby knew about this in the past becuase i had left him before and gone back, so anyway my ex has told his side of the story to them and they have chosen to stay close with that as$%ole and not me my sisters own blood. she does whatever her hubby does and because he is still mates with my ex, she will choose him over me. if they only sat down with me and i told them everything, they would have to see that i am the victim of domestic violence and that he is a bad person. i dont feel i have to prove myself to them so i guess my side will not be heard in their case. at least my parents and close friends have supported me.

Yes I have. one of mysocalled friends kept telling me how awful this person was and I just believed. then I met her and none of what myso called friend has said was truth. this woman was a very nice person full of fun and kindness and much brighter than my so called friend had implied. a case of jealousy perhaps?

I don't put too much stock in what people say about others. I usually have to see it myself. I have known people I believed were nice that some people talked really bad about and people who did some very bad things that were considered to be "upstanding people" in the community. I figure we all have good and bad in us.

It happened to me during the first relationship I was in during my late teens. My partner at the time manipulated me, and the situation, so that I believed him when he said that my friends were saying things behind my back. Being a teenager, of course things were blown out of proportion, and despite the fact that I had been friends with these girls for four or five years, I believed him, and completely cut myself off from everyone. It was only about two years later when I ran into one of the girls that everything came out. Needless to say, the relationship with the guy ended soon after, and I am now friends with all the girls in the group again.

This same situation almost robbed me of a real good friend.When we entered high school she had the reputation of being stuck up.But after sitting next to her in homeroom and most of our classes i fond out that she was not stuckup but just shy.She may seem that way to people that dont know her,but to those of us that took the time to get to know her she's a fun person to be around and a reliable friend.So i'm glad that i didn't listen to gossip, but took the time to get to know her.That is why i try to judge people by their substance rather than by whats said about them, good or bad.

That goes to show you have to know someone before you judge them. I haven't had this happen to me, but my husband isn't a jerk either. The father of your children sounds like someone I know. Is he kind of absent minded and weird also? I am referring to my husband's father who asked me 5 times when his grandchild was due! Anyways, I am glad that you finally got to know your brother and sister in laws.

yes, it happens to be so. many time sits seems taht you are wrong when you take into account other people's view about some. also i am not telling its wrong all times. at sometime sits 100% same as others see them.

I have had this happen where I was the one being disliked. For years my now in-laws barely spoke to me and didn't really want me around. They live in another state so they weren't close enough to actually see me for who I am. My husband's ex-wife would tell them all kinds of lies and half-truths about me. She was part of their family for like 9 years so they believed her. In the past 2 years they decided to give me a chance and see for themselves. Now we get along great! They realized that they never got to know me so what they were basing their opinions on were his ex-wife's jealous statements. It also didn't hurt that I gave birth to their grandchild 2 years ago. I had hurt feelings at the time but I decided to just let it all go. It is not worth it to hold a grudge against them.