Depression

I think my depression began as a child. I had a really hard life, in and out of reality. I never felt comfortable enough with any doctors to talk with them about it. I just self medicated as I felt it necessary. After a couple nervous breakdowns, and a lot of excess weight gain, I decided it was time to get help. It's been about 17 years I've been trying to "make myself happy", without ever fully being able to. Sure I have had happy days, and I've felt the peace of God several times.But looking back, I have never been truly happy. I have now been on a low dose ant-depressent for two months. Its amazing. I can't say I never feel depressed, or I walk around in a constant state of happiness. But over all- I think I'm getting to the point where I can say, yes I'm happy. I know that the actual illness isn't brought on by one event in a person's life. It is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Yes, circumstances in our lives can cause a feeling of depression, or a depressed mood, but that is not the illness, and those feelings will pass. If you are truly depressed, the feelings don;t ever fully go away. You will look back on moments in your life that should have been the happiest days of your life, and realized you missed them.

well.. there was a time that i really couldnt appreciate anything going on with my life. i was 16 then, i even tried doing something so stupid because of that. i felt so alone, i felt i had no friends, i felt i was abandoned, i felt a lot of pain, i felt really bad, made me feel im worthless and hopeless.. i used to have altered sleeping patterns. uhm.. i dont know... it was really hard for me back then... so i think it was really depression, i was really depressed. maybe the hurt and pain was already there inside me since the time my mother left us (i was 9). then the pain just got so heavy that i finally just gave in....

I had been depressed many times in my life caused by so many factors. It will be laborious on my part to write all the causes here. I am just thankful to God for giving me the courage to go on, and for lifting me up during the darkest moments of my life. Now, I don't get easily depressed, and if I do, I get passed it easily than before. In short, I get used to it!