My Husband Irritated Me To No End Last Night!
By AnimeMom
@AnimeMom (516)
United States
April 29, 2008 8:33am CST
So yesterday evening my husband and I were already on rocky ground with each other. He had said something to me that i thought was rude so it had me on a short fuse. He was telling me a story in which I didn't understand a certain part and after he was done i asked him a question and he (in my opinion) snapped at me saying "Did you miss that?" Doesn't sound terrible I know, I suppose it was his tone of voice. I felt more like his subordinate than his wife. To make this long story short. Later that evening my mom called me upset and scared because she had gotten her pap smear test results back and they were abnormal. My mom and I are very close, best friends you might say so I was worried for her as well. After the birth of my brother she had some pre-cancer cells frozen off. So her test said abnormal with ASC which is the best of the bad news you can get I suppose. I looked it up for her last night and since she is going through menopause we think that might be the culprit. However she is getting a HPV test done and having a follow up exam in 4 months. Her mind was at ease but she does not currently have any insurance. Just not affordable right now. So i told her if the tests were to expensive or if she wanted or needed a colposcopy that i would cover it no problem. After reciting this to my husband all her worries I told him of my offer to help my mom and he started to sigh. After the sigh he got grumpy about the fact that I offered to help. He said later that evening as we were talking it out that he was upset because the parents are suppose to take care of the kids at our age (23,24) and not the other way around yet. And the fact that because she doesn't have insurance she will keep asking for things if they arise. I told him i understand but he needed to put himself in my shoes if this was his mother who raised him alone the first 6 years of his life he would have leapt at the chance to help no questions asked. But because there has been bad blood b/t him and my mom he is being testy about it, and unfair. Well the fights over but i still have a bad taste in my mouth. What do you think about all this? What is the best way to handle it?
4 responses
@subha12 (18441)
• India
30 Apr 08
Its really sad how your husband is behaving. it may sound harsh, but i have seen that money is a very important factor in all relation and everything. as now he thinks he have to shell out money, she is feeling so. I just think if you are earning yourself, can it be possible that you help her?
@AnimeMom (516)
• United States
30 Apr 08
I was a bit confused about his response to news like that. I'm actually a stay at home mom so my income is very small. But I'm getting a settlement so I was planning to use that to help her. I figured it would give us extra money so we should have enough to help her out.
1 person likes this
@ufo_thexfiles (723)
• Malaysia
29 Apr 08
You really loves your mother and that's the key point. You love your husband too but you have to make your own decision: You mother, or your husband?
As you have said, your mother has raise you with loves, health, wealth, education, maturity, and so on until you met your husband and until to this moment.
If your mother sacrifice for you for so many years, and your husband cannot sacrifice for you, who would you choose?
Imagine if your mother still have three years to go, would you sacrifice for her to extend for many more years like she had sacrifice all she got in many years for raising you?
I think you know the answer.
I know it is hard to make decision, but it is up to you. I only have this advice.
First of all, choose your objective: To help your mother or to fulfill your husband's needs.
You decide.
Thanks in advance.
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
29 Apr 08
wow. I would be like you and help my mom out, she helped me so much throughout my 25 years (mainly past year I battled cancer) but anyway he should understand that this is very serious stuff and something terrible could happen if mom doesnt get things checked out you know.
If the fight is over, let it go. Kind of like choose your battles. If its over let it be over and not bring it up unless he does. I dont think we could make someone else understand our thoughts and why we do what we do.
@rockvixen (894)
• United States
29 Apr 08
Sometimes my husband and I argue and disagree, however both of you are adults now and it is not a bad thing to help your parents, after all those are the people that make us who we are. Sometimes my husband can get a bit irritating and it is usually due to either a bad day or some sort of thought that bothers him.
Why is there bad blood between him and your mom? See that is one reason why he is probably being the way he is. You and your mother are close, and you said like best friends. Your husband could be a little envious of that. I think you should all try to work out the differences, is there something that happend that caused your mother not to like your husband? Did he do something wrong? If so what is it and think of how it can be fixed. You are still young and you still have a long way to go in this life.
By the way I will keep a prayer for your mom, she is probably more worried than you realize, I know I would be. Be there for her, not just you but both you and your husband, if he loves you that much, he would be there for you in this moment as well, regardless of his issues with your mom. I wish you the best.
@AnimeMom (516)
• United States
29 Apr 08
Oh the bad blood is a very long story. Short version is my mom didn't want me to move out of the house after i graduated high school and i decided to any way and i moved in with my husband (boyfriend at the time) they got into a fight about it while he was helping me move my stuff out. I think my mom had hard feelings against him at that time though because i was spending all my time with him and not her. They get along fine now, hugs and everything! But i think it could be old feelings resurfaced for him on occasion. She really started to like him again after we joined the military together and he matured, a lot! But that's what the military will do to you! LOL! It was a bad day for sure so tempers were on edge, i just wanted him to be a bit more understanding. Oh well...
