How to deal with COMPETITIVE FRIENDS?
By AmberN
@AmberNormandin (883)
United States
April 30, 2008 8:44am CST
Hi Everyone...I need some advice...I joined a gym a few months ago. Its a gym that a friend of mine goes to, and i thought that it would be great for us to kind of be each others support system, and at first, thats how it was.Then, she hired a trainer and suddenly became a know it all. Thats fine, i can deal with that. What I cant deal with is how she feels the need to compete with me, and out do me. We are totally different people. I am about 6 inches taller than her, I weigh more than her, but I carry my weight different since im taller. So, everytime I start doing something different, she starts doing it too, but longer/harder than me. For example..ive been doing interval training...Ill walk for 3 minutes, run for 1 at 4.5mph(im out of shape and have hip problems, its the best I can do right now) and yesterday I was at the gym before her, she came in and decided to interval running also. So, she runs at 6.0 and tells me that there is no way she can actually run at 4.5..she runs for 2 minutes instead of one...only rests for 1-2 minutes between runs. If she can handle that, GREAT! But dont make me feel like crap because I have different issues than you and I cant right now. My heart rate goes up to 200 during that 1 minute of running at 4.5, I have to slowly work my way up to faster running. Also, my routine consists of cardio and weight lifting...half the time she's not there when i lift...well she started a discussion on another forum about how "people" say they had a workout when they do cardio and she doesnt consider cardio a workout, just lifting...that convo didnt go over to well with anyone, but i KNOW that she meant that towards me.I responded to her discussion saying that every gym session i have is a workout for me personally because when I leave, after cardio/lifting, im spent. Anyway, its not just the gym, its other things too. I dont feel the need to compete with her at all and im not sure how to get her to stop. I havent said anything to her because I KNOW she will deny it, and get offended. I would rather not say anything than start a riff between us. I have also been trying to go to the gym earlier than her so that Im close to being done by the time she comes in. Any advice? Should i just ignore it and keep working towards my goals? Should i say something to her and jeopardize our friendship? What should I do when she starts competeing with me in the gym? Usually i just ignore it.thanks!
4 responses
@seiyuh (162)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
Here's what am gonna do:
1. Concentrate on your goal, ignore her. Just do your thing.
2. If ignoring her does not help, go to the gym at a different time.
3. If that doesn't help, better transfer to other gym. Concentrate on your goal and once you achieve your target weight, try to surprise visit her in the gym and show off your new you! haha!
@maliki2 (255)
• United States
13 May 08
Funny you say this. I was "punished" and a friend of mine for being to "good" during Gym while we were in High School. The gym teacher told our parents that we wouldn't let anyone else play. The thing is, the other people just stood around. This was Soccer and both of us were on the varsity team. Of course we wanted to play. But I'm very competitive when it comes to sports.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
1 May 08
I would just go at a different time...She wants to try and compete and i hate that..I would go whenever she is not there and i would just ignore her...If she brought anything up i would just act uninterested.....I would just stay with doing my own thing,stick with your goal ,and just ignore the whole thing...She is going to take the fun out of the entire experience and i would not allow her to do that..She sounds like a competative control freak and a little on the smart aleck side........I would not fuss and compete,just try to ignore her ways and stick with your goals...
@LilyPad123 (377)
• Singapore
30 Apr 08
Honestly speaking u do not need such friends, reason is simple they will ruin ur day. Some of them do it to make themself feel better by making u feel like a weakling. If u feel that ur self-esteem is down i suggest telling her to backoff. But if u are interested in maintaining a friendship with her than i suggest ignoring her and work towards what u want. I do have friends who are competitive, usually what i do is to let them do what they want and not compete with them. The idea is to be focused and calm it will make u a better person.
